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Set List, Show, or just 'Wing it?"

I make a setlist and adjust on the fly based on what I see from the audience, and how long our sets are running. Audibles, as I call them. We play one gig outside where there is a strict end time, so our third set always winds up a bit truncated, so often songs get tossed from that list to keep the ones I know will go over well.
 
I've been writing set lists for the blues band I'm in, after the band leader passively/aggressively stopped calling songs in response to the lead guitar player calling him out for playing songs, requests, that we don't know. So far the set lists have been hit or miss...not perfect. Sometimes they work...sometimes they don't. It's hard to know ahead of time what songs need to be played when, and the BL has also been skipping songs, or adding in requests. And that's okay. So, for the gig this weekend, I texted "do you guys want me to write out a setlist for the gig this weekend?" The BL responded (quickly) "you guys call em out." And I know what that means...it'll just be the first thing that pops into somebody's head with little, if any, rhyme or reason. So the question is: Do you gigging guys use a written out setlist, or do you do an actual show in which each set is preset to ebb and flow, etc., or do you just wing it?
Sounds like you have more important questions to resolve relating to professionalism, band politics, and goals.
 
The two extremes of bar bands are what drive me crazy.
1) not having a plan and just standing around saying “what you wanna play next?”
2) having a set list and refusing to deviate from it when the crowd obviously wants something else.

I try to have set lists but then read the crowd. If the dance floor is full and the next tune is a snoozer then call an audible.
 
I make a setlist and adjust on the fly based on what I see from the audience, and how long our sets are running. Audibles, as I call them. We play one gig outside where there is a strict end time, so our third set always winds up a bit truncated, so often songs get tossed from that list to keep the ones I know will go over well.
Yes! We always end with the same 2-3 songs and watch the clock. With about 15 minutes left we skip to the planned ending tunes, no matter where we are on the set list. If things are running short we will add in a couple before the ending tunes.
 
Okay to call an audible but have some kind of plan so you aren't flubbing around on stage after every song.
"what do you guys want to do next" is fine a few times, its not fine if you do it 15 times.
 
I absolutely hate winging it, unless I know that every one of my bandmates can pull any of those songs out on the fly, which is never. I am a strong proponent of set lists with flexibility... sometimes you may want to change something because of the crowd dynamic... maybe you don't want to bring the energy down yet when you'd planned that slow song cuz the crowd's hopping. Or maybe they need a break and that 5th heavy song in a row might not be the best choice.

I don't like the stress of being held captive to someone's whimsy. Not only that, a lot of times the calling out disrupts the flow of the show.
 
I've been writing set lists for the blues band I'm in, after the band leader passively/aggressively stopped calling songs in response to the lead guitar player calling him out for playing songs, requests, that we don't know. So far the set lists have been hit or miss...not perfect. Sometimes they work...sometimes they don't. It's hard to know ahead of time what songs need to be played when, and the BL has also been skipping songs, or adding in requests. And that's okay. So, for the gig this weekend, I texted "do you guys want me to write out a setlist for the gig this weekend?" The BL responded (quickly) "you guys call em out." And I know what that means...it'll just be the first thing that pops into somebody's head with little, if any, rhyme or reason. So the question is: Do you gigging guys use a written out setlist, or do you do an actual show in which each set is preset to ebb and flow, etc., or do you just wing it?
Setlist always.
 
In an IEM band it becomes even harder to confer about song choices because you can't really hear each other speaking on stage. In one band we set up an ambient mic just in front of the drum kit that catches some of the discussion, helps a little.

On the other hand, the bandleader in that group knows how to cut his mic out of the FOH and only intercom the rest of us. So when he calls audibles it's impossible to miss.
 
When I was in the Air Force, one of my boss' favorite sayings was: "The failure to plan is a plan for failure" and that philosophy has stuck with me.

For me, a setlist is a must; it lets you map out the momentum and mood of the set.
Generally, I want to grab attention, show off the band's strengths, keep similar songs apart, let things breathe, then end strong.

I go overboard with the formatting, but my bandmates have generally appreciated it:
  • I print them on fluorescent paper, so they are VERY visible.
  • I'll generally find a picture that captures world events at the time of the show and put it on the page like a "watermark"- the setlists become a souvenir of the show. The attached pic is our setlists for a show the weekend after Queen Elizabeth died; our first set had her coronation photo, and the second set had her last official photo.
 

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I've always used set lists - except for my current band. They just call out songs (mostly) off of a master list as we go. Sometimes we'll just play a song we've never done together before, which can be fun, but can also be a train wreck. We have far too many delays in our show because of the "what are we playin' next" routine. Very frustrating. One of our guys brings 4 guitars (different tunings) and without a plan, changes can cause undesirable delays.

Having set lists are ideal IMO. Several benefits:
- Everyone knows what is going to get called for the show and has time to do any personal work they need. We have well over 100 songs on the master list and it's hard to keep them all fresh all the time. Cut that down to 45-60 and we can all be prepared.
- Less dead stage time.

It's OK to call audibles and play requests - I played one sub show last year, that started as a set lists show, but became call outs by the third set because the first two sets were disrupted from playing requests out of order of the list.
 
I've been in bands that did not use a set list. We had a process for the next song. Before the last chorus, BL would select the next tune, and whisper it to the guitarist, and it was passed down the line, so whoever was supposed to start the next song was ready to go before the end of the prior tune. This way the BL could pick tunes based upon the crowd reaction. It was done so seamlessly, no one knew.

But that isn't easy. Almost every band I've seen who didn't use a set list (and many who did) would have too much dead air between picking songs. Unless you are Bruce Springsteen or the like, and can communicate with the audience, you shouldn't need more than a few seconds between tunes. Dead air is a killer, and unprofessional as #$!#@%@#~.

Most times I have setlists, but my main band for about 12 years didn't. We played originals with 2-3 covers (ska/reggae/funk). We had a pool of around 40 songs that we all knew well, and many more that we'd need to refresh before trying live. In the last 3-4 years, unless it was a short set that we prepared carefully for flow etc, we'd just play what the singer called. He had good sense and pick songs based on audience reaction, and he'd either let us know what the next song should be much like you describe, or he'd find a way to announce it (not always the "this one is called..." which is a bit boring) and 1, 2, 3... away we go. I liked it that way.