Here's the situation - I've been going out with this girl for almost a month, and it's been going well. Last Saturday she had a girls night with some friends of hers. They got very drunk and partied. I found out later, from one of the others, that she made out with one of her girlfriends. At first I didn't mind, and I knew she felt bad about it, but I haven't been able to get it off my mind. She's not bisexual, and I know it didn't mean anything, but it still really bugs me. I know it was just them joking around, but at the same time I can't help but get the feeling that she cheated on me. We're both monogamous, and that's the way we like it, and I also have a belief that if somebody cheats on me then it's done. I just don't really know what to do with this right now, because I really like her, but I'm also angry, and then there's some other stuff that I'm not getting into. Basically I'm extremely confused and conflicted, and I'm looking for some advice from some of the well-balanced folks on this site.
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Should I be angry?
- Thread starter d8g3jdh
- Start date
I think the only way to get back at her is to go out to a strip club with your friends and start kissing one of them. I mean, you have to feel bad about it afterwards, but at least then both of you will be confused and conflicted.
i think you should talk to her about it and let her know that even if it was with another girl that it bothered you.
You should be angry that you didn't get a video, but you also should be happy that you didn't find out by seeing her on a commercial for Girls Gone Wild. 
Scott Zoltok said:
This is the problem. Not some drunk chicks randomly making out.
Sit down and talk with your girl. Remember to listen. You have ONE mouth, and TWO ears.
-Mike
It may not be a big deal to her, but apparently it's a big deal to you, so let her know. Tell her everything.
You need to talk to her calmly and honestly. Both of you need to establish some rules surrounding the relationship, rules that you agree are in the interest of enjoying each others company and furthering your relationship.
Remember always that you don't own someone else - the fact that you are together is due to the things you share in your time together.
Remember always that you don't own someone else - the fact that you are together is due to the things you share in your time together.
Here's the interesting thing to me - two chicks make out, but it's not gay. Two dudes do it and...well...gay.
Why does our culture react that way? Is it true that all women are only two drinks away from a lesbian experience? *ponder*
Why does our culture react that way? Is it true that all women are only two drinks away from a lesbian experience? *ponder*
bassturtle said:
I'm not sure about all women, but for those that are it sure makes my website cost effective.
Well, then he'll have to bring a hot friend to the strip club. If he finds the women too distracting, it can be a bar or even Denny's.
Geoff St. Germaine
Commercial User
- Aug 31, 2001
- 6,267
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- Disclosures
- Owner - St. Germaine Guitars
bassturtle said:
I would personally use gay only to describe male homosexuals.
I think the discrepancy is that a lot more people are turned on by two women "getting together" than two guys. IME, this holds true amongst both men and women. Both are homosexual to me, but I'd rather see one than the other.
Geoff St. Germaine
Commercial User
- Aug 31, 2001
- 6,267
- 302
- Disclosures
- Owner - St. Germaine Guitars
+1 on the having a talk with her. If its only been a month, a talk with her could let her know more about how you feel and how it upset you. My ex did the same thing, and I felt a little bothered but not so much. I knew she wasn't bi, yet there was something there. If its a one time drunken giggly excited girl thing, it may be ok. Kisses can mean nothing, and be just phsical contact, or they can have much more behind them. Although even the physical contact alone can be/is going over the line....its not as bad as if she enjoyed it immensely and felt something for the girl.
It's up to you to decide, after you've talked to her. Whether you let it go, and you guys have an understanding; or whatever else you want to do, see how the talking goes. And straighten out whatever else you have going on, if you want to keep it private thats cool but know you can get help here if you wish, that may lead you to happier times. If its other issues about her...see how it stacks up. But I hope after only a month you guys can talk and get a little more acquanted with each other and figure it out, good luck!
It's up to you to decide, after you've talked to her. Whether you let it go, and you guys have an understanding; or whatever else you want to do, see how the talking goes. And straighten out whatever else you have going on, if you want to keep it private thats cool but know you can get help here if you wish, that may lead you to happier times. If its other issues about her...see how it stacks up. But I hope after only a month you guys can talk and get a little more acquanted with each other and figure it out, good luck!
Geoff St. Germaine said:
Wrong. Women are conditioned to believe it, but they don't. It's not genetic. You tell someone enough times that two guys making out is disgusting, but two chicks making out is hot, and guess what? They'll believe it. No matter what their gut tells them. Of course, it's not an issue for guys, we just like it regardless. But girls are conditioned to like it.
bassturtle said:
Probably because our society insists on giving everything a label. It would be too easy just to accept the fact that two people might be attracted to each other regardless of gender.
Women also generally seem to be more comfortable with sexuality on the whole and don't attach all the stigma to same sex attraction as men do. I know, that's generalising, but it appears that way to me, anyway.
