Okay, so a bit of background...
I started as bassist for my current band when I was 12 years old. Always had other bands on the go but this was always my priority. We got good gigs, bad gigs, charity gigs, built ourselves up a damn good reputation, got screwed over and learned the hard way about the pros and cons of record deals. We stopped playing full time after 6 years on the scene, and that was 5 years ago now. We played a recent gig (a comeback gig) that we put on ourselves a few months ago. It came with its own problems but it mostly went smoothly.
So, my current predicament.
Late last year the singer (BL by default) got in touch with us in a group chat to say he had been asked about playing a wedding in September of this year and asked us if we were available. We all agreed that we probably would be, and that was the last we heard about it.
Fast forward to the present, and somebody who is going to the wedding asks if we are all ready. Ehh... What? I politely explain that I had no idea, as we never had the gig confirmed to us by BL or booker. No details of it, and none of the band has rehearsed. So I send a message in the group chat to ask about it, along the lines of "I'm assuming were not playing it as nothing has been confirmed, but are we?" To be told that we are. Short notice but okay. BL said we were probably only going to be a small part of the wedding so I reply that was a good thing, as I was worried we'd be playing our usual 3 hour set that we haven't played in 5 years, to be told "We are".
So I start to get worried at this point and realise that the wedding is now 2 weeks this Saturday. We will have no opportunity to rehearse, as the singer/BL is on holiday until a few days before the wedding. Guitarist can't make it over, so he needs replaced for the gig. Keys player has flat out refused to play it on account of the short notice and he only did our reunion show, so doesn't know any of our songs off the main setlist. Me and the drummer are very concerned and considering walking out too.
We also find out that the groom has been telling people we are playing for free because he's good friends with us, which is not true. I've been given a rough estimate of £550 For the whole band, which is about half of what we used to charge and isn't particularly worth me doing, as I'd get at least double my share of the cash if I worked that day. Drummers in the same camp as me.
So to sum things up, we are on 2 weeks notice with no real rehearsal for 5 years, we don't know the time, date or venue we are playing at as we haven't been told, and now know we are only earning a paltry amount for this.
My question is, do I play the gig, lose out on money from work and have the reputation of ruining the happiest day of someone's life because we never rehearsed, effectively killing the band and ensuring we never get booked again? Or do I go with my gut, kindly explain that I will not be made a fool of in a situation that everybody is uncomfortable with, and have the reputation as a quitter until I explain my exact reasons behind it which would leave folks more understanding of my situation?
Any suggestions, wisdom, idioms or carrots greatly appreciated.
-EDIT:
Over the last few days the situation has improved dramatically. The groom has always known the band, and has very kindly explained that it's not anybody else he wants, it's us. BL explained that it would only be 2, possibly 3 of the original band and this is why we aren't charging our usual amount, but he's happy with that. It's not going to be a high class day by any means, just a relaxed wedding dance and completely informal, so he's perfectly happy with our situation. Obviously I'd rather be on top of our game, but now I know the situation a bit better I'm a lot happier. I've received a *rough* set list and know most of the stuff on it, which is fine.
After originally quitting the gig entirely, I've now decided to do it. It really does pay to have good communication, and I feel a lot more optimistic than I did over the weekend.
I started as bassist for my current band when I was 12 years old. Always had other bands on the go but this was always my priority. We got good gigs, bad gigs, charity gigs, built ourselves up a damn good reputation, got screwed over and learned the hard way about the pros and cons of record deals. We stopped playing full time after 6 years on the scene, and that was 5 years ago now. We played a recent gig (a comeback gig) that we put on ourselves a few months ago. It came with its own problems but it mostly went smoothly.
So, my current predicament.
Late last year the singer (BL by default) got in touch with us in a group chat to say he had been asked about playing a wedding in September of this year and asked us if we were available. We all agreed that we probably would be, and that was the last we heard about it.
Fast forward to the present, and somebody who is going to the wedding asks if we are all ready. Ehh... What? I politely explain that I had no idea, as we never had the gig confirmed to us by BL or booker. No details of it, and none of the band has rehearsed. So I send a message in the group chat to ask about it, along the lines of "I'm assuming were not playing it as nothing has been confirmed, but are we?" To be told that we are. Short notice but okay. BL said we were probably only going to be a small part of the wedding so I reply that was a good thing, as I was worried we'd be playing our usual 3 hour set that we haven't played in 5 years, to be told "We are".
So I start to get worried at this point and realise that the wedding is now 2 weeks this Saturday. We will have no opportunity to rehearse, as the singer/BL is on holiday until a few days before the wedding. Guitarist can't make it over, so he needs replaced for the gig. Keys player has flat out refused to play it on account of the short notice and he only did our reunion show, so doesn't know any of our songs off the main setlist. Me and the drummer are very concerned and considering walking out too.
We also find out that the groom has been telling people we are playing for free because he's good friends with us, which is not true. I've been given a rough estimate of £550 For the whole band, which is about half of what we used to charge and isn't particularly worth me doing, as I'd get at least double my share of the cash if I worked that day. Drummers in the same camp as me.
So to sum things up, we are on 2 weeks notice with no real rehearsal for 5 years, we don't know the time, date or venue we are playing at as we haven't been told, and now know we are only earning a paltry amount for this.
My question is, do I play the gig, lose out on money from work and have the reputation of ruining the happiest day of someone's life because we never rehearsed, effectively killing the band and ensuring we never get booked again? Or do I go with my gut, kindly explain that I will not be made a fool of in a situation that everybody is uncomfortable with, and have the reputation as a quitter until I explain my exact reasons behind it which would leave folks more understanding of my situation?
Any suggestions, wisdom, idioms or carrots greatly appreciated.
-EDIT:
Over the last few days the situation has improved dramatically. The groom has always known the band, and has very kindly explained that it's not anybody else he wants, it's us. BL explained that it would only be 2, possibly 3 of the original band and this is why we aren't charging our usual amount, but he's happy with that. It's not going to be a high class day by any means, just a relaxed wedding dance and completely informal, so he's perfectly happy with our situation. Obviously I'd rather be on top of our game, but now I know the situation a bit better I'm a lot happier. I've received a *rough* set list and know most of the stuff on it, which is fine.
After originally quitting the gig entirely, I've now decided to do it. It really does pay to have good communication, and I feel a lot more optimistic than I did over the weekend.
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Nope 
