Boo hoo. You can't take it with you. May as well spend it. You people drop a small fortune on gear you don't need and won't drop a little gas and food money to help some friends. Hint: You're selfish.
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So about getting paid for gigs.
- Thread starter Tnavis
- Start date
Boo hoo. You can't take it with you. May as well spend it. You people drop a small fortune on gear you don't need and won't drop a little gas and food money to help some friends. Hint: You're selfish.
Nope. I must define a friend differently...like they're still friends even when they inconvenience me.
You people? Bass players? White people? Dudes? Who over at my house has spent a small fortune on gear?
Here's an idea... where's the gig? You could go play.
My friends wouldn't inconvenience me by expecting me to play at an event THEY want to do, but in no way have to do. An event I have absolutely no stake in.
Yep, you just answered it the same way I would. Except I would be leaning to the point of making up my mind this would not be worth it and telling them "thanks, but no thanks."
- Mar 13, 2008
- 18,908
- 142,369
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist Mike Lull T Bass pickups, The Bass Shop, Seattle WA.
Gentlemen.
Let's keep our responses civil here, if that isn't possible I'll hand out some party favors - Not the kind you like.
Let's keep our responses civil here, if that isn't possible I'll hand out some party favors - Not the kind you like.
Chef
In Memoriam
That’s just, like, your opinion man.
Other people have other opinions.
There’s no need to berate people over that.
Maybe -you- should volunteer to fly in and cover this one.
Try to seduce the couple. Let them know, you are the one to "spice it up". Try to steal as much food as possible. Wander around and help yourself to the nice things the couple have, especially the wedding ring. Have a fake ring on hand. This should do and is a must.
So my vote is to play the gig and have fun.
So my vote is to play the gig and have fun.
Well I suppose I would if I really liked the guys in the band.
And... if I liked the songs enough they wanted to play.
And... if I wasn't doing anything else that day.
And... if my SO wasn't going to miss me too much.
And... if they offered me and my gear a ride there and back without asking for gas money.
And... if they don't mind me having a drink or two on the night.
I suppose I might.
And... if I liked the songs enough they wanted to play.
And... if I wasn't doing anything else that day.
And... if my SO wasn't going to miss me too much.
And... if they offered me and my gear a ride there and back without asking for gas money.
And... if they don't mind me having a drink or two on the night.
I suppose I might.
It's OK to say no to friends sometimes.
Yep, and real friends actually do understand when there's a reasonable line to be drawn.
It totally depends on if you want to help out your old friends and play some music with them.
If you feel that you want or need compensation, then turn down the gig.
If you feel that you want or need compensation, then turn down the gig.
Me (the OP) in this thread right now:
If they call me two days before the show and say "Listen man, we're screwed. We need you, here's the setlist, can you help us out?" Then yup, i'm gonna take a day off of work to learn that **** front to back, and show up early to load in and possibly even sweep the floors on the way out.
They've got other options. They turned to me because I'm a friend and it would be fun for them. Less so for me.
Still not sure how i've managed to offend a handful of people because of this.
If they call me two days before the show and say "Listen man, we're screwed. We need you, here's the setlist, can you help us out?" Then yup, i'm gonna take a day off of work to learn that **** front to back, and show up early to load in and possibly even sweep the floors on the way out.
They've got other options. They turned to me because I'm a friend and it would be fun for them. Less so for me.
Still not sure how i've managed to offend a handful of people because of this.
here's the thing to me.
the people who are having the anniversary are friends of the other guys who will be playing. the OP barely knows them. so while the rest of the band will be contributing their time, effort and playing as an anniversary present, the OP would be doing all the practice and traveling as a favor to the band. i've done things like this a couple times BUT the band dealt with my transportation and i ended up with a nice dinner and after playing, a good time - maybe the next day when we didn't have gear to guard - from the band. and the people in the band were close friends who i wanted to help out.
i can't imagine being one of the band of friends of the OP and not offering at least transpo and a steak dinner (okay, i'm a vegetarian, but a dinner i like) for doing the favor. that's what my friends do. also, if i were the band, i'd pay for the OP to get at least a couple beers and a coffee at the party. but come to think of it, what kind of a party is it where even the first drink to celebrate is from a cash bar and there's no food? no one throwing the party is at least paying for coffee and cake for all including the band? is the band pretty much the main event where there's no refreshments???
on the other hand, if the people in the band had chipped in to get the anniversary couple a $1500 weekend at a hotel or a trip to disneyland, would they have expected the OP to chip in $300 to pay for it for people he basically doesn't know whose party he wasn't invited to? hopefully the answer to this is a resounding "of course not!"
i guess it also depends on how easily i could learn the songs in the time allotted. or if the band would be willing to switch some songs so that some songs i already knew well could be used at the party.
and everyone has a different definition of friends, but if i asked a friend this kind of favor, it would come with at least me paying for a night out or dinner the next day. and my friends have always offered something similar, whether they've asked me to play on a demo (this happened a couple times) or play at an event.
OP, would your friends be fine if you said no? have they offered you dinner or a night out drinking at favorite clubs or pubs on them? would they offer you transportation to the party and buy you a couple beers, a coffee and some munchies? are they actively friends of yours or are they more friendly acquaintances?
the people who are having the anniversary are friends of the other guys who will be playing. the OP barely knows them. so while the rest of the band will be contributing their time, effort and playing as an anniversary present, the OP would be doing all the practice and traveling as a favor to the band. i've done things like this a couple times BUT the band dealt with my transportation and i ended up with a nice dinner and after playing, a good time - maybe the next day when we didn't have gear to guard - from the band. and the people in the band were close friends who i wanted to help out.
i can't imagine being one of the band of friends of the OP and not offering at least transpo and a steak dinner (okay, i'm a vegetarian, but a dinner i like) for doing the favor. that's what my friends do. also, if i were the band, i'd pay for the OP to get at least a couple beers and a coffee at the party. but come to think of it, what kind of a party is it where even the first drink to celebrate is from a cash bar and there's no food? no one throwing the party is at least paying for coffee and cake for all including the band? is the band pretty much the main event where there's no refreshments???
on the other hand, if the people in the band had chipped in to get the anniversary couple a $1500 weekend at a hotel or a trip to disneyland, would they have expected the OP to chip in $300 to pay for it for people he basically doesn't know whose party he wasn't invited to? hopefully the answer to this is a resounding "of course not!"
i guess it also depends on how easily i could learn the songs in the time allotted. or if the band would be willing to switch some songs so that some songs i already knew well could be used at the party.
and everyone has a different definition of friends, but if i asked a friend this kind of favor, it would come with at least me paying for a night out or dinner the next day. and my friends have always offered something similar, whether they've asked me to play on a demo (this happened a couple times) or play at an event.
OP, would your friends be fine if you said no? have they offered you dinner or a night out drinking at favorite clubs or pubs on them? would they offer you transportation to the party and buy you a couple beers, a coffee and some munchies? are they actively friends of yours or are they more friendly acquaintances?
Been there. Your going to make Lots of mistakes, your bass is going to be rolled out of the mix and Nobody is going to care if you did a good job or not. Go because you have nothing better going on and maybe.....
Me (the OP) in this thread right now:
If they call me two days before the show and say "Listen man, we're screwed. We need you, here's the setlist, can you help us out?" Then yup, i'm gonna take a day off of work to learn that **** front to back, and show up early to load in and possibly even sweep the floors on the way out.
They've got other options. They turned to me because I'm a friend and it would be fun for them. Less so for me.
Still not sure how i've managed to offend a handful of people because of this.
Based on all the info you've given, I'd pass. Especially since your friends have other options, and it sounds like there won't be any hard feelings if you say no.
I simply can't get over no free drinks. I just can't fathom that. Like really. I'd have to really hate someone a lot, l mean real absolute hatred that burns in my heart to not throw a couple drinks the band's way, that drove all this way and is playing for me for free. Knowing that beforehand, I'd be too insulted to even consider doing it.
I'll play for free a few times a year, no problem, but just show me a little appreciation. I've got a similar thing I wanted to discuss today, but don;t want to jack your thread, OP.
Only way I'd consider it is if the venue was some place that'd I'd been dying to play and was going to be my only chance to do so.
I'm guessing the event is not being held at the Ryman, is it?
I'll play for free a few times a year, no problem, but just show me a little appreciation. I've got a similar thing I wanted to discuss today, but don;t want to jack your thread, OP.
Only way I'd consider it is if the venue was some place that'd I'd been dying to play and was going to be my only chance to do so.
I'm guessing the event is not being held at the Ryman, is it?
Ya know, in six pages I'm not sure if anybody has asked but...
You mentioned your friends havent played in ages. Are they maybe not aware of what is normal for this type of thing if the couple the party is for werent close friends?
I mean... I have an acoustic trio that Ive done shows with over the years and if somebody wanted a 20 song performance for a private party, we'd be talking $800 minimum and thats if its 30min drive or less, and we already know most of the songs.
Also, keep in mind that price is taking into account that all we're hauling is a small bass combo, 2 acoustic guitars, 1 bass, 1 powered 4ch mixer and 2 speakers. All 3 of us and all the gear can fit in my wagon.
Maybe if they dont know... mentioning that a full electric band for a private event like that with that kind of setlist and travel time is usually around $1200 and up.
I used to work in home A/V and would get friends asking me to hook up their parents/aunts/uncles all the time on setups and installation... I would always tell them "hey, you can tip me whatever you want.. but keep in mind that bestbuy charges $800 for this". At that point their eyes would usually get wide and they'd say "seriously?! oh man.. I figured it was like $80 or something". This usually straightened things out before I even got there lol
You mentioned your friends havent played in ages. Are they maybe not aware of what is normal for this type of thing if the couple the party is for werent close friends?
I mean... I have an acoustic trio that Ive done shows with over the years and if somebody wanted a 20 song performance for a private party, we'd be talking $800 minimum and thats if its 30min drive or less, and we already know most of the songs.
Also, keep in mind that price is taking into account that all we're hauling is a small bass combo, 2 acoustic guitars, 1 bass, 1 powered 4ch mixer and 2 speakers. All 3 of us and all the gear can fit in my wagon.
Maybe if they dont know... mentioning that a full electric band for a private event like that with that kind of setlist and travel time is usually around $1200 and up.
I used to work in home A/V and would get friends asking me to hook up their parents/aunts/uncles all the time on setups and installation... I would always tell them "hey, you can tip me whatever you want.. but keep in mind that bestbuy charges $800 for this". At that point their eyes would usually get wide and they'd say "seriously?! oh man.. I figured it was like $80 or something". This usually straightened things out before I even got there lol
Friends are playing for free for an anniversary, and they're not being provided food, drinks, or lodging? World's cheapest couple?
