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So about getting paid for gigs.

What would you ask for instead of payment?

  • To quote Henry from "Goodfellas": "*&#% you, pay me."

    Votes: 120 57.4%

  • Gas money

    Votes: 16 7.7%

  • Hotel accomodations

    Votes: 7 3.3%

  • Carrots? Is that still a thing? Are we still doing carrots?

    Votes: 8 3.8%

  • Exposure

    Votes: 5 2.4%

  • Smile and nod, and make the best of hanging out with old friends.

    Votes: 53 25.4%
  • Total voters
    209
#141
I have a few close friends. We sometimes ask a lot of each other but we also have the freedom to say "no" with no hurt feelings (I hope). Don't know if these folks will always have my back. We are human and we don't always meet the expectations of others. Knowing and expecting that is also freeing. I do things because I want to and if I catch myself expecting some sort of payback in the future I resist that temptation. Always on ongoing thing but worth the effort for my own peace of mind.
Sometimes we help strangers who we may never see again and have no way of paying us back, that is good too. Before I get self righteous it is good for me to remember there are some folks who seem to dedicate their whole lives to helping others. Some people do more than us and some do less. We each should do what we are called to do.
I'm saying all this because I believe the OP should do what he thinks is right and do his best to not have remorse if he does not take the gig. Probably shouldn't take the gig out of guilt, when I do that I get resentful and would have been better off saying no. If he did take the gig I hope he had a great time. Sometimes a moments joy can't be muted by the cost in time and/or money.
 
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#142
slobake said:
I have a few close friends. We sometimes ask a lot of each other but we also have the freedom to say "no" with no hurt feelings (I hope). Don't know if these folks will always have my back. We are human and we don't always meet the expectations of others. Knowing and expecting that is also freeing. I do things because I want to and if I catch myself expecting some sort of payback in the future I resist that temptation. Always on ongoing thing but worth the effort for my own peace of mind.
Sometimes we help strangers who we may never see again and have no way of paying us back, that is good too. Before I get self righteous it is good for me to remember there are some folks who seem to dedicate their whole lives to helping others. Some people do more than us and some do less. We each should do what we are called to do.
I'm saying all this because I believe the OP should do what he thinks is right and do his best to not have remorse if he does not take the gig. Probably shouldn't take the gig out of guilt, when I do that I get resentful and would have been better off saying no. If he did take the gig I hope he had a great time. Sometimes a moments joy can't be muted by the cost in time and/or money.
Click to expand...

I like your perspective, slobake. I just felt moved to comment that helping strangers with no expectation of payback is sometimes easier than helping a friend with the same expectation, because I feel a relationship is an ongoing project and in a way can be summarized as a form of expecting some sort of future interaction with mutual benefits. Even if the payback is knowing they have warm thoughts when thinking back :-). As you say, there are intangibles! And expecting to receive intangibles is not a bad thing.
 
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#143
LilyT said:
I like your perspective, slobake. I just felt moved to comment that helping strangers with no expectation of payback is sometimes easier than helping a friend with the same expectation, because I feel a relationship is an ongoing project and in a way can be summarized as a form of expecting some sort of future interaction with mutual benefits. Even if the payback is knowing they have warm thoughts when thinking back :). As you say, there are intangibles! And expecting to receive intangibles is not a bad thing.
Click to expand...
All my life I have really wanted to really know others and be known by others. I have also been terrified that I will be. In my sixties now and that is happening with a few others besides my wife. It is difficult sometimes, it can be scary but it is also great.
 
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#145
Is this your friend too? If it's a let's get together, one time for a old friend, freebie, sure. Send out a song list, keys, practice on youtube. Get together 1 time for practice, sure. But driving 200 miles, several times, wanting a perfect show, no payment, not a good friend, maybe not....
 
#146
In my musical world Subs always get paid. Out of town gigs get travel, lodging, and food, plus gig pay.

Working "for" friends is always a slippery slope. But they made the deal, not you. So there's that.

edited to remove noon relevant, misread stuff


No matter how you slice this one up you're screwed. So follow your conscience.
 
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#147
Biggbass said:
In my musical world Subs always get paid. Out of town gigs get travel, lodging, and food, plus gig pay.

Working "for" friends is always a slippery slope. But they made the deal, not you. So there's that. One thing you can count on, though, is if the bride & groom have any degree of intelligence, they know that wedding music costs money so they have a budget, knowing their option is a more expensive band or a dj. And if they save that music budget by hiring a group of friends who'll play for free then that money will go to other expenses or the honeymoon. FWIW I've yet to come across a band that plays weddings for free. At least working bands.


No matter how you slice this one up you're screwed. So follow your conscience.
Click to expand...

Bride and groom, wedding, honeymoon???

I'll have one of what you're smoking :roflmao:
 
#150
RichSnyder said:
Then I change my opinion to "screw that". If they (the couple) are being cheap like that then they can play some CDs on a karaoke machine.
Click to expand...

I suspect many people who do not understand what goes into creating music kind of view a band as a karaoke machine. They look at the band (if it's live) and think, "Oh, they're playing music." It's what a musician does. And there the perception stops. If recorded music is being played, it is a machine. So it's hard to feel personal about not being valued -- especially by a non-business owner who is totally ignorant of what happens on the front end. Civilians are just programmed that way. I say if it's a friendly gig, you're not relying on music for money to buy stuff, and especially if you've got nothing better going on musically in your life, play the gig. Hope it works out for you.
 
#152
Update:

I've decided to do the gig. This was based primarily on the overwhelming amount of peer pressure I received from my friends who are involved. They're taking me out to dinner as well, so based on that alone I'm making more money than most of my original music gigs. ;)

I'm decided to look at it as more of an opportunity to see some dudes I don't get to see very often, as opposed to a "no money gig". While it's a bunch of material I don't know, it's much less stressful than having to learn a bunch of new jazz charts or progressive metal tunes, so i'm just planning on having a book of rough chord charts on a stand and calling it good.
 
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#153
Tnavis said:
Update:

I've decided to do the gig. This was based primarily on the overwhelming amount of peer pressure I received from my friends who are involved. They're taking me out to dinner as well, so based on that alone I'm making more money than most of my original music gigs. ;)

I'm decided to look at it as more of an opportunity to see some dudes I don't get to see very often, as opposed to a "no money gig". While it's a bunch of material I don't know, it's much less stressful than having to learn a bunch of new jazz charts or progressive metal tunes, so i'm just planning on having a book of rough chord charts on a stand and calling it good.
Click to expand...

Have fun and let us know how it all goes! :thumbsup:
 
#155
unless this is a gateway to this band for the future, heck yes you ask to be paid. I don't sub for free unless it was something REALLY special. A pro venue. A big festival. but an anniversary party? LOL. I would never stop laughing if they asked me to play it for free
 

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