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So about getting paid for gigs.

What would you ask for instead of payment?

  • To quote Henry from "Goodfellas": "*&#% you, pay me."

    Votes: 120 57.4%

  • Gas money

    Votes: 16 7.7%

  • Hotel accomodations

    Votes: 7 3.3%

  • Carrots? Is that still a thing? Are we still doing carrots?

    Votes: 8 3.8%

  • Exposure

    Votes: 5 2.4%

  • Smile and nod, and make the best of hanging out with old friends.

    Votes: 53 25.4%
  • Total voters
    209
#122
pcake said:
OP, would your friends be fine if you said no? have they offered you dinner or a night out drinking at favorite clubs or pubs on them? would they offer you transportation to the party and buy you a couple beers, a coffee and some munchies? are they actively friends of yours or are they more friendly acquaintances?
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Yeah, they'd be fine with it. They realize that the situation isn't ideal, and they'd absolutely buy me a few beers later.

For them, they definitely see this as a "We haven't done this in a long time, we might not all get back together again, so let's do this even though the deal keep getting worse". Like I said, this particular band predates me even knowing these guys, they just happen to be my friends now.
 
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#123
dtsamples said:
No food, no free drinks, no lodging sounds a bit to me like the most direct way the party people felt comfortable saying “we don’t want your band to play”
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Haha. Yeah, maybe the anniversary couple would prefer that their friends who've not played gigs in years NOT play the party, but the couple is having a really hard time saying "no." Maybe they should tell the band it's a pay to play deal? Would the band STILL not get the message?
 
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#124
Tnavis said:
For them, they definitely see this as a "We haven't done this in a long time, we might not all get back together again, so let's do this even though the deal keep getting worse".
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If they have this attitude about themselves I can't imagine the couple is psyched to have them play their anniversary party. I'd bow out, you could be walking into a situation where you feel like you're putting yourself out there only to find that the band gets treated coldly at the gig. How did it come up? Did the couple/party host say "We loved seeing you guys back in the day!! Would you guys consider playing!?" or was it the singer or guitarist or drummer being like "hey, yeah, that sounds like a fun time, and you know what? WE COULD TOTALLY GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER."

IDK, I'm just weird about social dynamics, but that stuff would be my train of thought.
 
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#126
MordBass said:
I used to work in home A/V and would get friends asking me to hook up their parents/aunts/uncles all the time on setups and installation... I would always tell them "hey, you can tip me whatever you want.. but keep in mind that bestbuy charges $800 for this". At that point their eyes would usually get wide and they'd say "seriously?! oh man.. I figured it was like $80 or something". This usually straightened things out before I even got there lol
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BINGO

It's kinda like asking your friend the graphic designer to work up a new logo, album cover art, and posters for you band for free. "hey, we're friends so you should do what you do for free for me out of obligation". Uh, no. shag you, pay me says Henry.

Now to be honest, this event doesn't sound like a big deal, except for the fact that it has a cash bar. Sounds like it's in a
VFW or American Legion hall or sumpthin like that. The musos don't sound like music is their main gig at all, more like dudes getting a little older and want to "get the badn back together" for S's & G's one more time and their friend's party is the excuse they found. That's cool and all, sounds fun for those guys. Op isn't friends with the party hosts, wasn't even invited to the part in the first part in fact. He has to drive over an hour each way to play the gig and learn two sets of tunes that the rest of the guys are going to slaughter whatever he does. No free booze doesn't matter one way or another in my book, I don't drink when I'm working anyways. No free food is weird at a party, but then again it ain't my party. I'm guessing there will be snacks layed out (chips and pretzels kinda thing) but no sit down dinner. Again, doesn't matter one way or another to me. I'm also guessing that the cash bar and no sit down dinner is the same for all the guests. Doesn't sound like much fun for the OP unless he really wants to drive a couple hours to jam with friends.

The fact that the OP even made the OP makes me think it doesn't sound like much fun to him, either.
 
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#127
That's a tough spot to be in. My biggest concern would be playing all that material without a rehearsal. You have to decide if you want to take that responsibility on.
As far as pay, you don't have a leg to stand on. If the other people aren't getting paid, why would you. Either you want to do this as a favor or you don't.
 
#128
It still sounds chancy. Without some kind of compensation it's possible it went something like:

Host: "So can you and spouse make it?"
Band guy: "Sure, we wouldn't miss it!"
H: "Awesome, Rick and Mervis are gonna be there too, you guys should bring your gear and play some tunes!"
BG: "That sounds fun! What do you think, like two sets? We can bring a PA system, is the venue good with this?"
H: "oh yeah I'm sure it'll be fine, they have bands all the time, bring your guitar it'll be fun"
BG: "Sounds good!" *sets to work organizing everything*
H: *completely forgets about casual mention of playing songs, doesn't think about it again until BG contacts them two weeks before for more info about "gig"* **AWKWARD**
 
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#129
dtsamples said:
It still sounds chancy. Without some kind of compensation it's possible it went something like:

Host: "So can you and spouse make it?"
Band guy: "Sure, we wouldn't miss it!"
H: "Awesome, Rick and Mervis are gonna be there too, you guys should bring your gear and play some tunes!"
BG: "That sounds fun! What do you think, like two sets? We can bring a PA system, is the venue good with this?"
H: "oh yeah I'm sure it'll be fine, they have bands all the time, bring your guitar it'll be fun"
BG: "Sounds good!" *sets to work organizing everything*
H: *completely forgets about casual mention of playing songs, doesn't think about it again until BG contacts them two weeks before for more info about "gig"* **AWKWARD**
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I like how your mind works. For OP's sake (since he seems determined to do this) I hope you're wrong!
 
#130
I vote for going with what you're going to be most comfortable with doing, considering your feelings down the line. I was struck by how many mitigating factors were thought of by the forum, great stuff to consider. But I often do things at monetary and time expense to help people out, where I would otherwise be paid in my daily professional life, and I'm sorry to say that most people hardly even thank me, except for my actual good friends, where no thanks are necessary because it's understood in terms of a real deep relationship. (You mention that this is your professional life but just a fun thing for your friends, so it was asked out of both convenience and friendship. Perhaps this is like calling your plumber friend when you have an emergency, or calling your banker friend when you need money, lol ?) So really I think OP has to decide if these are the kind of friends he'd do this for (and if these are the actual kind of friends who would notice/appreciate the effort, friendship.) I'd at least ask for some group rehearsal time of the set list because if I were doing it for friendship/only the fun of playing music... well solitary work isn't my idea of fun. Please do tell us what you decide and how this works out over the next days and weeks. I think this struck some deep chord having to do with obligation, recognition, and discomfort and we are all very invested.
 
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#132
Great point! And when you point out that it may not be perfect due to no practice time(or that you would need a lot of practice to make it up to your standards), I would phrase it so that they have the option to back out of their request and get someone else, since maybe they were under the assumption that bass players can easily do anything. (That happens all the time, right?) Many people have mentioned the possibility of various awkward situations, which usually arise when someone is not communicating everything but still going on as if everybody knew it, and no one feels like they can stop the [relationship] train wreck.
 
#134
Kevorargh said:
I did this about 11 years ago - a former band mate was getting the band back together for a 20th high school reunion. We practiced/chatted online, all of that, and then did a lot of last minute changing for the show. I borrowed a buddy's PA, and it was a lot of fun. We all had a good time. I'd do the gig.
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If it was my high school reunion too I would consider it. If it wasn’t, I’d be less enthused.
 
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#135
Bass Viking said:
If it was my high school reunion too I would consider it. If it wasn’t, I’d be less enthused.
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I've gone both ways in the OP's situation - I've done freebies for friends and asked to be paid for others - depends on the situation. This one sounds like the OP isn't thrilled with the set up of the gig and there are others that can fill in so I would probably try and bail too, unless the songs were wicked easy to learn.
 

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