So about getting paid for gigs.

[jdthebassman]

$100min + food or no deal,charity begins at home. for me i wont leave my house for less than $100 with in a hour radius

 

[Al T.]

Money talks - bullshift walks.
No dough = no show.

 

[Mister Boh]

We made sure everyone who attended got fed at our wedding, even the folks we paid to provide a service. I think it's a dick move not to feed the band playing for free.

 

[MordBass]

Regardless of the friends aspect, you are being asked to sub at an unpaid gig. Therefore, you should not expect to be paid.

Imagine if this were an ad: "Band needs bassist for unpaid gig" and then you contact them and say you will do it------if you get paid.

Its not exactly an unpaid gig though... its more that the band is providing their performance as a gift to the anniversary couple since theyre close friends. The OP is not a close friend of the couple, and wasnt even invited to the event. Personally, I'd say that tossing the OP some cash should be considered part of the costs that the band have decided they will absorb as a gift.

 

[LBS-bass]

I have a hard time believing they won't be fed. Even when I've been hired for beef and beer style benefits by non-acquaintances someone comes up and makes sure we all go get something to eat.

You didn't read the update then. He explicitly said there is no food at this event and it's a cash bar where the band will not receive drink tickets.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Have you received favors from these friends over the years? I'd consider it a favor if they're not being paid. If you had to fly or whatever, no.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

You didn't read the update then. He explicitly said there is no food at this event and it's a cash bar where the band will not receive drink tickets.

Then I change my opinion to "screw that". If they (the couple) are being cheap like that then they can play some CDs on a karaoke machine.

 

[LBS-bass]

Then I change my opinion to "screw that". If they (the couple) are being cheap like that then they can play some CDs on a karaoke machine.

Yep. I agree. It's not even his friends being honored. They are the band's friends.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Yep. I agree. It's not even his friends being honored. They are the band's friends.

I'd help friends help friends, but if it's a party and they're getting a free band then telling the band that they have to pay for their own drinks, that seems cheap. Or is it a situation where nobody is really in charge of this and they have zero budget to work with?

 

[LBS-bass]

I'd help friends help friends, but if it's a party and they're getting a free band then telling the band that they have to pay for their own drinks, that seems cheap. Or is it a situation where nobody is really in charge of this and they have zero budget to work with?

I would help friends help friends too, as long as it didn't mean I had to learn two sets of material that I don't know, which was another requirement. The hour long drive is doable if you really are into it. But, all in all, it seems like a hassle unless you have lots of time to learn these songs and you really want to play with your old friends. Didn't sound like OP was that much into the idea that way, though.

 

[lfmn16]

I would help friends help friends too, as long as it didn't mean I had to learn two sets of material that I don't know, which was another requirement.

This is the most important factor, which was left out of the original post. It's one thing to show up knowing all the tunes, or to have to learn a couple of tunes, but learn 20 tunes???? Totally changes my answer. I'd have to say know for this.

 

[Diamond_Dave]

but the guys in the band are some of my best friends, going back years.

If you really believe this, you'll shut your pie hole and play with the same lack of compensation as your friends. I mean, are they your friends or not? Do you want them to have your back when you don't have theirs? How do you define a "friend"?

 

[MordBass]

If you really believe this, you'll shut your pie hole and play with the same lack of compensation as your friends. I mean, are they your friends or not? Do you want them to have your back when you don't have theirs? How do you define a "friend"?

Im sorry but having someones back is very different from paying out of pocket to cover expenses while performing a service for one of their other friends for free because they thought it would be neat.

This would be completely different if the couple in question fell on hard times after a fire or flood or something and the OPs mutual friends asked if he could help do some drywall as a favor to them. This is literally a second hand favor that will cost the OP time and money and is being done purely because some other guys that havent played in years thought it would be fun as a gift for a party that the OP wasnt even invited to.

 

[InhumanResource]

You didn't read the update then. He explicitly said there is no food at this event and it's a cash bar where the band will not receive drink tickets.

Nope didn't see it. That would be a quick "lol no" from me and maybe a "what are you guys, f-d up?" for good measure.

 

[LBS-bass]

If you really believe this, you'll shut your pie hole and play with the same lack of compensation as your friends. I mean, are they your friends or not? Do you want them to have your back when you don't have theirs? How do you define a "friend"?

Did you miss the part about learning 20 songs? Or the part about the party not being for friends of the OP?

 

[Diamond_Dave]

Im sorry but having someones back is very different from paying out of pocket to cover expenses while performing a service for one of their other friends for free because they thought it would be neat.

This would be completely different if the couple in question fell on hard times after a fire or flood or something and the OPs mutual friends asked if he could help do some drywall as a favor to them. This is literally a second hand favor that will cost the OP time and money and is being done purely because some other guys that havent played in years thought it would be fun as a gift for a party that the OP wasnt even invited to.

God forbid we give a little of ourselves unless we're getting something back out of it. This is what's wrong with the world.

And hey--maybe--just maybe--it will be fun! But with the OP's crappy attitude, I'd stay at home. I wouldn't want him around sulking.

 

[Diamond_Dave]

Did you miss the part about learning 20 songs? Or the part about the party not being for friends of the OP?

Nope. So learn 20 songs well enough to wing it. Tell the guys not to expect perfection. If they're friends, they'll understand. And why does it matter who the party is for? The OP's friends need him. That should be all that matters.

 

[MordBass]

God forbid we give a little of ourselves unless we're getting something back out of it. This is what's wrong with the world.

And hey--maybe--just maybe--it will be fun! But with the OP's crappy attitude, I'd stay at home. I wouldn't want him around sulking.

Its not about getting something back, its about giving up your own time and money for two people that arent in a position to be needing your charity in the first place.
And if I had to vote for a crappy attitude on this thread, it wouldnt be the OP

 

[gln1955]

If you really believe this, you'll shut your pie hole and play with the same lack of compensation as your friends. I mean, are they your friends or not? Do you want them to have your back when you don't have theirs? How do you define a "friend"?

Overdramatic much?

 

[LBS-bass]

Nope. So learn 20 songs well enough to wing it. Tell the guys not to expect perfection. If they're friends, they'll understand. And why does it matter who the party is for? The OP's friends need him. That should be all that matters.

Oh, ok.