Could it be they don't want to gig? Maybe at this point in their lives they just want to rehearse once a week and that is good enough for them.
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So Am I Having a Bad Attitude?
- Thread starter jive1
- Start date
I was in a band like this once. I was with them 6 months and they were happy getting together jamming on the same tunes,drinking beer etc. I said "enough" and went out and booked a few gigs. We did the gigs and they complained about each and everyone of them.This group had been together for a couple of years and never giged, they all got paid and got free drinks and it still was not good enough. The drummer said for me to stop booking so we could work on the setlist more and I told him "Bye".
To some people its a getaway from the wife ,maybe an escape and getting gigs in not the focus.I don't have time for a group like this and don't know many other's who do.
The fact that you're genuinely asking "Do I have a bad attitude about this?" generally indicates that you don't.
I think you need to bring it up with the bandmates ASAP.
I think you need to bring it up with the bandmates ASAP.
Been there, done that. I talked about it a while ago, nothing happened. I don't bother talking about it anymore, other than just a mention of "hey, we don't have any gigs" because it's just not worth the breath. It's not passive aggressiveness, as much as it's just being worn down.
Honestly, I'm fine if they don't want to gig. But, let's not rehearse like it's work and do cheesy covers that I don't enjoy. I mean seriously, who plays Neil Diamond for fun?
That's probably a big part of it.
It's stuff that probably would go over well at some gigs, but not something that I enjoy playing on my own. I usually don't listen to cheesy pop music, other than to learn it for a gig.
I usually save my "stage presents" for a gig, which means I haven't shared a fart with these guys for a while.
Hey, I'm all for it, and said that from the beginning. But someone still needs to find someone who can get consistent bookings, maintain contact with them, and ride herd or find a replacement when there's no work coming in.
There's a local agent in town that I have worked with, but the last time I worked with him with this band, we couldn't get our availability worked out and lost out on some gigs because we couldn't get an answer back to them. We had an agency that does weddings and events interested in adding us to their roster, but we couldn't pull it together to come up with a better video. We had Gigmasters as well, but once again, we couldn't get it together to put together a better video and wound up losing gigs to bands that were either cheaper or had better promo material. The band isn't interested in new photos, a new name, scheduling tools, etc. that would make it easier for someone to book them. The only thing the guys seem to be concerned about is practice. I can honestly say that as a band, about 90% of all time and energy is spent on rehearsal or deciding what to rehearse, and 90% of all actions and solutions revolve around more rehearsals to get tighter. I just don't see how more rehearsals directly add to more gigs. It's like using a spoon to cut down a tree or a rope to hammer down a nail. A spoon and rope are both useful, but not for everything.
i hear ya, i'm somewhat in the same boat, only difference is my band is still in the putting the show together stage, where we practice week after week, and no gig or even a hint of a gig in site. i posted a thread about this as well, after reading all the reply's it was very clear to me something needed to be said, we are all pro players, it doesn't or shouldn't take six months to put a cover show together and hit the stage.. still waiting to see if it helped.
my advice to you is, tell the band flat out your feelings, you have other bands to fall back on and continue to gig if they continue to drop the ball.... if you really wanna gig with this band, then go out and book some gigs, if you really don't wanna have to do some booking, tranfer your energy to these other projects and get your gig fix there, but be sure to let them no if they're not willing to gig , you will have to spend more of your rehearsal time with the other that is trying to gig.....
i would not be rehearsing once a week and damn sure not learning new tunes for no apparent reason, 90 tunes , what are these guys looking to play a cruise ship. wow
my advice to you is, tell the band flat out your feelings, you have other bands to fall back on and continue to gig if they continue to drop the ball.... if you really wanna gig with this band, then go out and book some gigs, if you really don't wanna have to do some booking, tranfer your energy to these other projects and get your gig fix there, but be sure to let them no if they're not willing to gig , you will have to spend more of your rehearsal time with the other that is trying to gig.....
i would not be rehearsing once a week and damn sure not learning new tunes for no apparent reason, 90 tunes , what are these guys looking to play a cruise ship. wow
Did you talk about it in specific detail, or did you hint about how it would be nice if someone else found some gigs?
I mean, my wife sometimes talks about me doing the dishes by saying things like:
"It'd be really nice if the dishes were done"
instead of:
"Would you please do the dishes"
The latter is good clear communication. The former is the sort of passive-aggressive communication that leads to no one jumping on the grenade.
I was just basing it on the way you described getting out of the booking portion of it.
It sounded more like you did the "I'm not going to do booking anymore, it'd be nice if someone else would do it" as opposed to the "I'm not doing booking anymore, would you do it?"
I stated that I never liked the booking job, and that I don't have the time to book gigs. I stated that someone needed to step up, and apologized that I can't carry the ball on this one. The response was that we all need to carry that responsibility, and there was talk about others working on some bookings. That was last summer. But, no results. I don't know if any action has taken place, but I'm not seeing any of it. The only actions that I see are planning for rehearsals, and picking out material.
Maybe they don't disagree, however each one is waiting on the other to step up, but none are willing. They probably all want it to work and probably miss what you brought for them, hopefully they learn from this.
I'd wait till next rehersal and before it start's bring this up. Let them know what your willing to rehearse, and why. If you can explain everything as rationally in person as you can on here, i don't forsee anyone take offense, how can they. You did it for free, for a long time, and had all of your suggestions/requests turned down..
I completly agree with you Jive!
Honestly, Jong, you already know the answer to your question ... you've been around this business for a long time. Think of it this way; If these guys weren't friends, would you be losing any sleep at all over this?
I never do the "rehearsal-only" band deal, especially doing covers for bar gigs. That is a dead end street in all ways ... muscially, financially, emotionally, not to mention damaging to a family relationship. If the players are all great, you're not going to be messing with covers anyhow.... you just go do the gig. Good players really don't need to rehearse much after the initial get-together.
I know it can be a drag to feel like you're letting friends down, but the reality is that they, too, are letting you down. Better to grab an adult beverage now and then rather than destroy a good friendship ....
I never do the "rehearsal-only" band deal, especially doing covers for bar gigs. That is a dead end street in all ways ... muscially, financially, emotionally, not to mention damaging to a family relationship. If the players are all great, you're not going to be messing with covers anyhow.... you just go do the gig. Good players really don't need to rehearse much after the initial get-together.
I know it can be a drag to feel like you're letting friends down, but the reality is that they, too, are letting you down. Better to grab an adult beverage now and then rather than destroy a good friendship ....
Jive, my younger brother,
Yours is a long thread; no time to read all, but to directly answer; No , you do not have a bad attitude.
You have always been prompt and frank to answer my threads, speak with me by phone, as well as answering PM'S.I really appreciate all of your responses to me. I believe that we at talkbass respect you as a pro.
I don't have a blanket answer for you, but I believe that this may be a time to take a break; focus on family; the toddler, as opposed to rehearsing once or more per week for no known end result. [ Valentine's Day is right around the corner, BTW].
Agreed; If I want to jam, it should be for fun; for the love of making music, not learning lame tunes that I am otherwise not interested in. If someobne else in your crowd sets uop a gig, I am sure you will be there.
You have done your "time" as bandleader, manager, agent, etc. and as no one else is stepping up..So be it...If the bands fail in time; you shouldn't have to lose friendships regardless.
My only other input is that you should not stay "out of the biz" too long, as I have done [you know my story]. It is a long hard crawl up and out and back into the biz; family issues still take precedence. Higher fuel; transportation costs further hinder me from driving across town, to where the gigs are. At some point it isn't economically feasible to persue.
Go with your gut, Jive. From 4 thread pages as of this hour, it looks like the Talkbass.com Community is behind you and fully supports your decisions.
Take care and stay strong, younger brother..zon6c-f.
Yours is a long thread; no time to read all, but to directly answer; No , you do not have a bad attitude.
You have always been prompt and frank to answer my threads, speak with me by phone, as well as answering PM'S.I really appreciate all of your responses to me. I believe that we at talkbass respect you as a pro.
I don't have a blanket answer for you, but I believe that this may be a time to take a break; focus on family; the toddler, as opposed to rehearsing once or more per week for no known end result. [ Valentine's Day is right around the corner, BTW].
Agreed; If I want to jam, it should be for fun; for the love of making music, not learning lame tunes that I am otherwise not interested in. If someobne else in your crowd sets uop a gig, I am sure you will be there.
You have done your "time" as bandleader, manager, agent, etc. and as no one else is stepping up..So be it...If the bands fail in time; you shouldn't have to lose friendships regardless.
My only other input is that you should not stay "out of the biz" too long, as I have done [you know my story]. It is a long hard crawl up and out and back into the biz; family issues still take precedence. Higher fuel; transportation costs further hinder me from driving across town, to where the gigs are. At some point it isn't economically feasible to persue.
Go with your gut, Jive. From 4 thread pages as of this hour, it looks like the Talkbass.com Community is behind you and fully supports your decisions.
Take care and stay strong, younger brother..zon6c-f.
No bad attitude there. You've done it all for a long time. If no one is willing to help you carry the load, then call it a day.
Jerk.
For sure.
I think you should do all the work to learn the new material, and have it ready every week for rehearsal. You're just the bass player, why should you decide what the set list is? Or how often the band rehearses. You should also update the website and pay for the hosting fees. You should do the sound as well. I forgot if it is your PA, but it should be and you should be the only one to move it.
Those 3 or 4 gigs for next summer should be super tight so you get invited to do the 3 gigs the following summer.
And did I mention, be sure to stop at the market and pick up the beer for the guys? Singing 'Sweet Caroline' works up a mighty thirst and god forbid the band should be thirsty. Since you have those other gigs you can afford to spring for the beer anyway. Also, tell that whiney ***** to S*** the H*** **! Who does she think she is rockblocking a good weekly hang?
And your refusal to use your free time to help the band book and gig is inexcusable. Get paid for that, why? You have been doing it for free, you can't stop now. You'll get paid by doing the gig. 2013 I think it was. Right?
d00d, you are almost becoming a Phalex, I swear.
No gig. No rehearsal. I got caught in that last year. Did one gig. I booked it. 'We need more rehearsal'. Let's get another gig... GTR kept his existing ones for solo and never would book any more. I offered but, 'need more rehearsal'. Needless to say, it imploded from lack of definable goal, etc.
You are just prolonging the agony. Tell them once a month jam. Time permitting. No 'rehearsal'. Until further notice.
For sure.
I think you should do all the work to learn the new material, and have it ready every week for rehearsal. You're just the bass player, why should you decide what the set list is? Or how often the band rehearses. You should also update the website and pay for the hosting fees. You should do the sound as well. I forgot if it is your PA, but it should be and you should be the only one to move it.
Those 3 or 4 gigs for next summer should be super tight so you get invited to do the 3 gigs the following summer.
And did I mention, be sure to stop at the market and pick up the beer for the guys? Singing 'Sweet Caroline' works up a mighty thirst and god forbid the band should be thirsty. Since you have those other gigs you can afford to spring for the beer anyway. Also, tell that whiney ***** to S*** the H*** **! Who does she think she is rockblocking a good weekly hang?
And your refusal to use your free time to help the band book and gig is inexcusable. Get paid for that, why? You have been doing it for free, you can't stop now. You'll get paid by doing the gig. 2013 I think it was. Right?
d00d, you are almost becoming a Phalex, I swear.
No gig. No rehearsal. I got caught in that last year. Did one gig. I booked it. 'We need more rehearsal'. Let's get another gig... GTR kept his existing ones for solo and never would book any more. I offered but, 'need more rehearsal'. Needless to say, it imploded from lack of definable goal, etc.
You are just prolonging the agony. Tell them once a month jam. Time permitting. No 'rehearsal'. Until further notice.
