Just throwing this out there to get some opinions. If I'm just having a bad attitude, let me know. It's a long post, so if you don't want to read the details, the short version is:
Band has no gigs, nobody is booking gigs, so I don't want to rehearse. Am I a jerk for being that way?
The long version:
My "main band" that I've been with for the last couple years hasn't had a gig since last year. Since my father's stroke last summer, and my baby becoming a toddler, I haven't had any time to book or promote anything while running a business and keeping a full-time job. I sorta let the booking go in hopes that the others would step up and book something. In the mean time, I have been gigging pretty steadily with other bands and pretty much keeping almost as busy as I would like to be on the gig front.
The issue is that the "main band" wants to rehearse weekly, but there's no gigs on the books. They are really good folks, very talented, I like them a lot as people and consider them friends as well as bandmates. I really enjoy jamming with them, but with nothing on the books, and it not looking like there is anything on the horizon until our regular 3-4 summer shows, I'm not very motivated to rehearse or learn new songs. Especially when they are songs like "Sweet Caroline" which I have no interest in unless it's for a paid gig. I don't jam to Neil Diamond in my free time.
The sad thing is that if someone were to put in some work and book the band, it could actually do some good things. When we do gigs, we get a great response from the crowd and our clients. Of the many bands I work with, it could be the most talented. But, I just don't have the time or desire to book the band. In the past, I asked the guys to use Google calendar or let me know in advance their blackout dates so I don't have to call everyone and have the client wait for an answer. Only one person used Google calendar, and notice of blackout dates were inconsistent on a good day. I talked about new photos and a video to help with booking better gigs for over a year, and I have given up on it because no-one wants to do it. I talked about changing the name to help give us a more sellable image, and I get blowback. Considering what little help I get from the band in the booking department, I don't see any reason to sacrifice family or professional time for it. Part of my frustration is that from my previous booking experiences with the band, I get feedback about the name, promo materials, etc. from potential clients, agents, and people I respect in the biz around here, but they don't heed any of it because they aren't out there dealing with it.
The main problem with this band is that 95% of the focus of the other band members is rehearsal. Right now we have over 90 songs in our repertoire, enough to do 2-3 nights in a row without repeating a song. But, we still "need" to learn new songs for "some gig" just-in-case. We don't have band meetings or talk about business other than a 2 minute blurb while everyone is packing up to go home. IME, rehearsal alone won't help you get gigs, and they probably know that, but for some reason they seem to act like more rehearsals will fix things.
For me the payout is playing shows. Rehearsal can be fun, but it's never as fun as playing a show for me. Without the payout, it's hard to get motivated to put the time and energy into it. It feels like a stick with no carrot.
The dilemma is that I really like these guys, and like playing with them, but without shows on the books, I don't see the need to rehearse often. And if no-one is booking any shows, then it's not going anywhere, regardless of how tight we are in rehearsal. Because I like these guys, I don't mind just getting together and just jamming as friends once in a while. But if that's the main goal, I don't want to sacrifice too much family or professional time to do it. I'd rather just jam out on tunes that I like, have fun, and call it a night. Learning Neil Diamond during my free time, having to rearrange schedules, and pushing the envelope with my already accommodating wife isn't fun. Plus, I work with other bands that are working, and I should give them my limited rehearsal time, even though they don't rehearse much.
I don't want to quit. Ideally, I wish someone would book some shows. Or we just chill and have fun as friends when we have time once or twice a month. But treating it like "work" when there is no work on the horizon or effort to get work just doesn't motivate me. I guess you could construe it as a bad attitude, and trust me, I'd rather not have one. I'd rather either focus on having fun, or working.
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any thoughts or ideas.
