Dang dude, sorry to hear that. It can be such a downer to hear how out of whack the court system is when it comes to these things.
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So it seems I am a child abuser (Sarcasm intended)
- Thread starter jady
- Start date
thinkin about you man... def sucks. if you ever need to vent about it shoot me an email. i have def been through the wringer with custody crap. and kudos for being a responsible smoker and a caring dad. seems to be less and less of us these days.
Bummer dude,...keep your stick on the ice.
It's stories like these that make me glad I got the snip before I procreated.
Seems like to warrant such an invasion of privacy would require accusations from the child or an actual witness. Hopefully your ex's false accusations will sway the courts demeanor in your favor for future proceedings.
I child has a bruise,...how out of the ordinary.
It's stories like these that make me glad I got the snip before I procreated.
Seems like to warrant such an invasion of privacy would require accusations from the child or an actual witness. Hopefully your ex's false accusations will sway the courts demeanor in your favor for future proceedings.
I child has a bruise,...how out of the ordinary.
I hope the law can see the wood for the trees in respect of this situation, I hope it pan's out as best as can with the System your having to deal with, take it easy.
The first thing I did after reading your post was look at where you live. Sorry, man. California is the absolute worst for this. The child support people (I include all the child services I have dealt with here) are absolutely under-trained, overworked, and without any common sense or intelligence at all. They will believe absolutely anything that the mother tells them, but will require you to provide oceans of proof to prove your innocence (try proving a negative!). They will not research anything, and will seriously mess with you.
Here's a simple example I went through (thankfully, I no longer have to comply with these numb-skulls, and mine was JUST support - which I paid without fail): They make an accounting mistake. Since my account is now in arrears - according to their messed up version of reality/math/common sense - they suspend my drivers license, they freeze my bank account, then they ask me to do the running around to prove that I was in the right.
Now, they decided how much was paid (their little commercial computer program - but I won't go there this time), when it was paid (by a garnishment), how it was paid (see garnishment), and when the payment was supposedly late - IT WAS MY FAULT!
How? How can I be to blame for their screw ups. I had absolutely no control on the payment. They did.
This happened to me SIX TIMES.
Whatever happens with you, sir, I wish you luck. Keep records.
Also, look up "Parental Alienation Syndrome." Even unconsciously the mother may be planning your future. Without your kids, it will be bleak. Go on the offensive. Once your name is cleared - and it probably will be - make sure you have the court give you proof that this is not part of your record. Make sure they record that the mother falsely accused you.
Write everything down. The "oh, something came up and the kids can't see you today as scheduled" type stuff. Every minute she keeps you waiting. You only have to arrive a minute late to be deemed a deadbeat, yet she can take her sweet time in "helping them pack" and "oh, where did I put your shoes...?"
It's all a game.
These are your kids. The most important thing in your life, and she's using them as pawns. Plus, the State is more than happy to help her do that. Saves on actually thinking for them. If she lies, so what? They don't care. It's just another 'deadbeat dad' right?
They've made it impossible to actually sit in front of anyone and go through the case. Each time I did that, I completely confounded the idiot they assigned. No clue at all. Kept saying, "It's the law!" I asked him if he was a law enforcement officer. He assured me he was (quite proud, he was). I asked him to advise me of the actual law he was enforcing (this is the freezing of assets, suspension of driving privileges etc.). He couldn't. All he could manage was "It's the law." over and over.
I told him that he was a disgrace to the uniform, and that enforcing laws without understanding, or at least KNOWING them was a waste of public funds. All in a very clear, and non threatening voice, in front of the entire office. Ballsy? Absolutely, but this idiot had made more mistakes on my case than the accounting, but wasn't going to admit it. They only like deadbeats. They get to chase them and take them to court - where the clever people can do the real work. Good dads don't exist for them. When confronted with one, they disappear in case they are asked to do some thinking.
/rant (Bitter? Me? Yep.)
Here's a simple example I went through (thankfully, I no longer have to comply with these numb-skulls, and mine was JUST support - which I paid without fail): They make an accounting mistake. Since my account is now in arrears - according to their messed up version of reality/math/common sense - they suspend my drivers license, they freeze my bank account, then they ask me to do the running around to prove that I was in the right.
Now, they decided how much was paid (their little commercial computer program - but I won't go there this time), when it was paid (by a garnishment), how it was paid (see garnishment), and when the payment was supposedly late - IT WAS MY FAULT!
How? How can I be to blame for their screw ups. I had absolutely no control on the payment. They did.
This happened to me SIX TIMES.
Whatever happens with you, sir, I wish you luck. Keep records.
Also, look up "Parental Alienation Syndrome." Even unconsciously the mother may be planning your future. Without your kids, it will be bleak. Go on the offensive. Once your name is cleared - and it probably will be - make sure you have the court give you proof that this is not part of your record. Make sure they record that the mother falsely accused you.
Write everything down. The "oh, something came up and the kids can't see you today as scheduled" type stuff. Every minute she keeps you waiting. You only have to arrive a minute late to be deemed a deadbeat, yet she can take her sweet time in "helping them pack" and "oh, where did I put your shoes...?"
It's all a game.
These are your kids. The most important thing in your life, and she's using them as pawns. Plus, the State is more than happy to help her do that. Saves on actually thinking for them. If she lies, so what? They don't care. It's just another 'deadbeat dad' right?
They've made it impossible to actually sit in front of anyone and go through the case. Each time I did that, I completely confounded the idiot they assigned. No clue at all. Kept saying, "It's the law!" I asked him if he was a law enforcement officer. He assured me he was (quite proud, he was). I asked him to advise me of the actual law he was enforcing (this is the freezing of assets, suspension of driving privileges etc.). He couldn't. All he could manage was "It's the law." over and over.
I told him that he was a disgrace to the uniform, and that enforcing laws without understanding, or at least KNOWING them was a waste of public funds. All in a very clear, and non threatening voice, in front of the entire office. Ballsy? Absolutely, but this idiot had made more mistakes on my case than the accounting, but wasn't going to admit it. They only like deadbeats. They get to chase them and take them to court - where the clever people can do the real work. Good dads don't exist for them. When confronted with one, they disappear in case they are asked to do some thinking.
/rant (Bitter? Me? Yep.)
I'm lucky in that my parents were always married, right up until my mother's death. However, it seems to me that custody battles can be some of the most downright, nasty things that I've seen people engage in. I hope that you get through this well, Jady.
I've been lucky, an cursed with my exwife.
She's never given me an ounce of respect, but never tried anything completely inhuman such as that.
But I know what I would do if I was found guilty of such a crime, despite being innocent.
and it's the kind of thing that typically ends up on unsolved mysteries.
She's never given me an ounce of respect, but never tried anything completely inhuman such as that.
But I know what I would do if I was found guilty of such a crime, despite being innocent.
and it's the kind of thing that typically ends up on unsolved mysteries.
The real question is what quack gave you a prescription of marijuana for Tourette's?! Is it for tics? What was the reasoning? There are a number of other medications that are more well tolerated by society and courts that would look much better to the judge and court, and would probably do a better job, too. I know there is some correlation on the affects on marijuana on TS, but no studies have yet to show definitive results, and you KNOW how law authorities are going to perceive it. You need to find a better solution.
I realize there are no ideal medications for Tourette's, but you are setting yourself up for issues by smoking weed for "medical issues".
If you insist on the effects of the marijuana on your symptoms, then go ask your doctor for tetrahydrocannabinol. The trade name is Marinol. It's a synthetic cannabinoid that should have the exact same affect on the symptoms without making you look like a deadbeat in court.
Do yourself a favor and find a better solution. If not, you need to accept that you aren't doing it for the Tourette's.
As far as the beating of the kids- it's a really common way that woman can be granted custody of children. A family friend went through this, too. It cost him about $50k in legal fees, but in the end he ended up with full custody of the children after proving she lied in court and tried to force the children to falsely testify. That situation is awful, and I'm truly sorry. Just don't use the MJ to cope with that, too. You need to find a good solution to the tics that don't hurt your reputation in court.
+1 Someone's dope consumption can be exploited as a smokescreen to blame someone else's actions on. Why leave oneself open to being set up?
Hmm... Maybe get an updated prognosis from your doctor?
Left untreated, the symptoms of this ailment may undercut your well-being and thus the consistency of the parenting that you are capable of:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome
Sorry to hear about your turmoil, but...
why in world would you ever think this was a good idea?
I know several people who have medical MJ cards, and only one of them is dying of cancer... but he had the card long before he knew. Every one of the others have the cards on false pretense, and everybody- including the police force- knows it. Nobody believes that anyone is putting smoke into their lungs because they're concerned for their health.
Now, I'm all for decriminalization and ending the drug war and all that, but NORML needs to understand and admit that they're fighting for a constituency that just wants to get high, and it ain't got a damn thing to do with hemp paper or clothing. Angus got it right.
Tylenol does more damage to your liver than what weed does to your body, and I don't even touch the stuff. I know someone with chronic pain that would benefit from it but our state is so backwards they would rather the persons already failing liver get more damaged from opiates and pain killers than allow MJ.
I encourage you to get off your moral high horse about the MJ. I personally can't stand the MJ culture, but understand it's uses. It's legal in the state the OP resides in.
I encourage you to get off your moral high horse about the MJ. I personally can't stand the MJ culture, but understand it's uses. It's legal in the state the OP resides in.
I do not use the stuff myself but I am in favour of using it as a chronic pain treatment, as indicated by fenderhutz.
On topic: hang in there, man.
On topic: hang in there, man.
It's legal, but does that mean all of the officers of the court are going to view it in the same way they would Tylenol (for example)? There will still be a stigma associated with it.
It would be daft to assume there isn't going to be some negative fallout from this. Especially in the manner the courts seem to be working over there, what if his ex turns around and says he's been using the MJ long before he got the card or makes out he got the card under false pretenses? What if a claim comes out that he gets high and beats his kids? BS, yes, but surely something that needs to be viewed as a concern here.
Child custody cases run a thin line, and it's hard enough for a father to keep "in the right", in the eyes of the courts. So why provide more fuel for the fire, when there are other ways of treating the condition? Especially when you have an ex that seems to be trying to discredit you?
Your liver takes a hit on anything you consume, that's what it's there for, that is also why it has one of the fastest (if not the fastest) regrowth rates. The effects of MJ are still not fully understood, heck, there was a recent publication showing immunosupressor like activity of THC, increasing risks of cancers and infections. I won't say it is as harmful as the anti-MJ folk make out, but it certainly isn't harmless, as the pro-MJ folk say!
Jady, good luck with this one, lets hope the courts see sense!
+1 I've got to say this is an excellent point, I don't know exactly how it would be viewed in the U.S, with the legitimacy difference there, but here it would be considered manipulable ammunition imo too, right or wrong.
PM me her address. Her and I can sit down, and have a nice talk. I can be as discreet, or indiscreet as you want. I'm very professional, and I'd do this one pro bono. 
