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So what had happened was...Rickenbacker content

Am I nuts?

  • Yes, certifiably so

    Votes: 341 80.0%

  • No, you did the right thing

    Votes: 48 11.3%

  • The answer is always Fender

    Votes: 6 1.4%

  • Miata is always the answer

    Votes: 6 1.4%

  • Carrots

    Votes: 14 3.3%

  • Carrot cake and eat it too

    Votes: 27 6.3%
  • Total voters
    426
#142
F13A0069-74E8-4148-81D9-E8D7B9E19BE2.jpeg
This
 
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#143
In my marriage, we've learned that neither of us does well with surprising the other :blackeye:

I've bought her jewelry that while being very pretty was just too conspicuous for her own taste (we eventually traded it in for something else); and for one of our anniversaries, she surprised me with a watch that cost twice as much as the one I had told her I liked. Needless to say, she was quite disappointed when my next words were not the enthusiastic "Thank You!" she had expected. However, I kept it (she forgave my pettiness) and it is now something I dearly treasure because it came from her. But from then one, for any occasion, we always consult with each other; and if we ever think to surprise the other, it's always with something small.

It's good that you were honest with her, but I could see that scenario (turning down an expensive gift) going sour for other couples. No judgement here, bro! Had I been in your shoes about 7 years ago, I most likely would have done the exact same thing you did.

That being said, I voted "yes" :D
 
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#144
you certainly could have phrased your response better - "you can give me the money instead" - but to me, this is a no-win scenario. i don't want someone to spend $2000 give or take with tax on my to buy me something i actively dislike. i have friends who were given acoustic guitars by non-playing spouses that cost more than that that never come out of the case.

me, when giving someone a gift, i'd rather give them something they really want rather than surprising them with something they wouldn't like. but i know most people don't get that there are bigtime preferences when it comes to instruments, watches and photography - one size decidedly does not fit all.

beatlebass64 said:
Reverse the roles.

Imagine you wanted to buy something special for your wife and you researched it and thought you found something that she would love, only to be told "Nah, that ain't it, but could I have the money for something else?"

Forget the "was I wrong?" question. I'd feel pretty crappy if that happened to me...

At the very least you could have approached it a little more thoughtfully. Your post makes it sound like you turned it down without any consideration for what she was trying to do.
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when i reverse the roles, i'd 1000% rather my husband tell me. but, as i can see from this thread, arie and i are not in the norm here...
 
#146
JZQuantum said:
My 5th wedding anniversary was earlier this year. It's the wood anniversary for those keeping notes.

Anyways, my wife bought me a brand new Rickenbacker from MF. She didn't know which basses are good or bad, so she googled it and Ricks came up then she ordered one.

She wanted it to arrive on our day, but was told it is a special order, and due to the COVID-19 it wasn't going to arrive until December.

Well the bass obviously wasn't going to be ready in time to hit our anniversary, so my wife's plan was to tell me about it on our anniversary and then I'd wait for it to arrive.

So I told her, no that's ok I don't like the looks of Ricks and you can give me the money instead and I'll put it towards a nice rack EQ I have my eye on (I'm trying to get my freelance mixing and mastering gigs off the ground).

She was disappointed in that decision a little bit, but honestly I have all the basses I need and no GAS for basses right now. I'm a Leo guy anyway...p bass, j bass and musicman right now.
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A rack EQ is not wood. Only your 5th Anniversary...... you have a lot to learn son. Show some respect and kindness to your lovely wife. You are a bonehead husband.:rollno: Just sayin'
 
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#147
beatlebass64 said:
Reverse the roles.

Imagine you wanted to buy something special for your wife and you researched it and thought you found something that she would love, only to be told "Nah, that ain't it, but could I have the money for something else?"

Forget the "was I wrong?" question. I'd feel pretty crappy if that happened to me...

At the very least you could have approached it a little more thoughtfully. Your post makes it sound like you turned it down without any consideration for what she was trying to do.
Click to expand...
That happens between us all the time...the super expensive makeup brushes christmas gift I got her that she asked me to return was the latest time. There are others too. That's why it's not a big deal for either of us to say "thanks, but try again" when we gift each other. It's something I can't explain well to others who don't have what I have, but it shows we keep it real with one another and are still happy together. Most of the time, we really are spot on with gifting each other. Even when she buys me musical gifts, she's usually spot on with what I actually need and will actually use.
 
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#148
JZQuantum said:
My 5th wedding anniversary was earlier this year. It's the wood anniversary for those keeping notes.

Anyways, my wife bought me a brand new Rickenbacker from MF. She didn't know which basses are good or bad, so she googled it and Ricks came up then she ordered one.

She wanted it to arrive on our day, but was told it is a special order, and due to the COVID-19 it wasn't going to arrive until December.

Well the bass obviously wasn't going to be ready in time to hit our anniversary, so my wife's plan was to tell me about it on our anniversary and then I'd wait for it to arrive.

So I told her, no that's ok I don't like the looks of Ricks and you can give me the money instead and I'll put it towards a nice rack EQ I have my eye on (I'm trying to get my freelance mixing and mastering gigs off the ground).

She was disappointed in that decision a little bit, but honestly I have all the basses I need and no GAS for basses right now. I'm a Leo guy anyway...p bass, j bass and musicman right now.

So am I nuts for turning down a brand new Rick?
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DUDE!!! Your wife did all the research on her own and bought you a new Rickenbacker ($$$) and you said, "Just give me the money and I'll put it towards a nice rack EQ"??? What in the world were you thinking. You can kiss off her ever putting in the time and effort to get you any musical gear in the future - ever!

She was undoubtedly feeling a sense of accomplishment in choosing this and in keeping it in sync with the "wood" wedding anniversary gift and in keeping quiet about it. So this was obviously a special present from here. Then you just shot her right down and discounted all her efforts and the thoughtfulness she put forth trying to find that "special" anniversary gift.

She is a real diamond, so don't treat her like paste jewelry. I've been married for 48-years now and I'm still working on it. But I live with the love of my life and it's all worth it. You can always graciously and appreciatively accept her thoughtful gift and then use it. Down the road a year or so from now, if it doesn't ring you bell you can divest yourself of it. Better yet, even if it doesn't ring your bell, at least hang it on the wall where you keep your music stuff to remind you of what a special gift that was and the woman who was thoughtful enough to give it to you.

My wife never bought me a new bass. :thumbsdown::thumbsdown::(
 
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#149
JZQuantum said:
That happens between us all the time...the super expensive makeup brushes christmas gift I got her that she asked me to return was the latest time. There are others too. That's why it's not a big deal for either of us to say "thanks, but try again" when we gift each other. It's something I can't explain well to others who don't have what I have, but it shows we keep it real with one another and are still happy together. Most of the time, we really are spot on with gifting each other. Even when she buys me musical gifts, she's usually spot on with what I actually need and will actually use.
Click to expand...

Try the Ric and give it a real chance. ;) You may love it.
It took a little bit, but I find it more comfortable than my fender at this point.
 
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#150
JZQuantum said:
My 5th wedding anniversary was earlier this year. It's the wood anniversary for those keeping notes.

Anyways, my wife bought me a brand new Rickenbacker from MF. She didn't know which basses are good or bad, so she googled it and Ricks came up then she ordered one.

She wanted it to arrive on our day, but was told it is a special order, and due to the COVID-19 it wasn't going to arrive until December.

Well the bass obviously wasn't going to be ready in time to hit our anniversary, so my wife's plan was to tell me about it on our anniversary and then I'd wait for it to arrive.

So I told her, no that's ok I don't like the looks of Ricks and you can give me the money instead and I'll put it towards a nice rack EQ I have my eye on (I'm trying to get my freelance mixing and mastering gigs off the ground).

She was disappointed in that decision a little bit, but honestly I have all the basses I need and no GAS for basses right now. I'm a Leo guy anyway...p bass, j bass and musicman right now.

So am I nuts for turning down a brand new Rick?
Click to expand...
I can tell you have only been married five years. Maybe you guys are very well off, but Rics are not cheap. If your wife spends that much on bass for you, accept it and play it from time to time. There is a good chance that it would even become a favorite of yours. If your wife is like mine at all, you will be lucky to get a set of strings in the future!
 
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#151
I don't know anything about your marriage, but I'm speechless. You turned down a beautiful, thoughtful gift from your wife and asked for cash instead? "It's the thought that counts" isn't BS, you know?
It's pretty poor, mate, pretty poor.
 
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#154
M.R. Ogle said:
I was going to write my response to the OP... but, it's un-necessary seven pages in... you've been sufficiently ROASTED for your reaction.
And you did the right thing accepting it.
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I agree. Kudos to the OP for not doubling-down and attempting to defend his initial response. I read a few pages back that you went back and told your wife you were going to keep it. That’s a good start. The Next mistake you need to avoid is that everything is now cool. You’re initial response was a major withdrawal from her emotional bank account. I suggest you make it a priority to filling it back up over the coming days/weeks. When you can walk the rice paper and leave no trace, then you will have learned;)
 
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#157
TheCouchBassist said:
I agree. Kudos to the OP for not doubling-down and attempting to defend his initial response. I read a few pages back that you went back and told your wife you were going to keep it. That’s a good start. The Next mistake you need to avoid is that everything is now cool. You’re initial response was a major withdrawal from her emotional bank account. I suggest you make it a priority to filling it back up over the coming days/weeks. When you can walk the rice paper and leave no trace, then you will have learned;)
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Really, it's cool. She rejects my $$$$ gifts all the time too. I'm not hurt at all. She's one tough cookie emotionally speaking and she's not shedding a tear, let me tell you. I guess I have one unique girl!
 
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