I love being married and being a dad. My wife is my best friend though, we really like hanging out together (read: judging people). I have known a lot of people that act like their spouse got assigned to them in a lottery and they're stuck with them. I don't get it. I got married the month I turned 24, which seems crazy young to me now. It's probably just as much luck as anything else that we grew together instead of apart, because we're both very different people now than we were 12 years ago. If we had the kid within the first 5 years, we'd probably be divorced right now, honestly. We've already gone through our traumatic and trying experiences a couple times, so having a baby hasn't torn us apart and made us hate each other.
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Stoner/Doom Bassists Thread, Part 90: Maxed Out
- Thread starter Korladis
- Start date
Hell, I've got a MA and a post grad diploma and I'm still a freelancer. I can't see this changing anytime soon.
All my adolescent life I dreamed about not having a mundane middle class life my parents had - and guess what - my dreams came true. But now I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choices - I'm a 35 years old single guy with good, but extremely unstable job, everyone all around me have kids (and it turns out I love kids) and settle down.
Shvt, I'm really considering changes in my life.
All my adolescent life I dreamed about not having a mundane middle class life my parents had - and guess what - my dreams came true. But now I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choices - I'm a 35 years old single guy with good, but extremely unstable job, everyone all around me have kids (and it turns out I love kids) and settle down.
Shvt, I'm really considering changes in my life.
Big +1 to that. There's normal gripes about your spouse - I get that - but so many dudes just pile it on constantly. It just makes them look poopy and weak. Get out if it's so terrible, otherwise I don't want to hear about it.
I've been married for 4 years, but I've known my wife for over 15 years. We're best friends, we enjoy spending time together, we have the same beliefs, goals and values for the most part. We love each other and enjoy being together, but also have our own friends, hobbies, lives apart. We support and encourage each other in everything.
No kids for us and we're sticking to that. We have a very young nephew on my family's side and are about to have another on my wife's side. We can babysit, visit, hang out with the kids but that's as far we need to go. We can always hand the kid back and go back to our lives.
I was always open to having kids, but never pushing for it. My wife was adamant that she never wanted kids until she got into her 30's. Then her next oldest sister had another kid, a super cute chubby little girl and my wife clearly went baby crazy. Although she didn't say anything about it for at least 6 months and when she made her "big reveal" that she wanted kids now, I just laughed and said "Yeah, obviously", everyone saw it. People should only have kids if they really want them though, nothing worse for a kid than parents who are resentful or neglectful.
People always look at me kind of oddly when I tell them I don't have children. Then they REALLY look at me oddly when asked "Why not?", and I respond with "Because I don't like them."
Sounds like you are entering the stage of life when you figure you will never meet Mrs. Right and finally give up hope then out of the blue she shows up.
So a couple of weeks ago I did a huge data gathering/interpretation presentation covering my major product categories and the vendors in those categories.
Phase two is grading/judging those vendors by several different factors. It's a lot more fun that I thought it would be. I'm good at judging things (and people
).
Phase two is grading/judging those vendors by several different factors. It's a lot more fun that I thought it would be. I'm good at judging things (and people
).Well I'm not advocating the true traditional experience. I went to a community college to save money then transferred.
All I meant was college isn't bad if you make it work. you can also not go to college and make it work. Current circumstances and finding your "bliss". Also come into play.
If you're smart out going and work hard you'll probably do well regardless. But to say don't go to school is a scary thing. for all the student debt horror stories, I think overall the people who have graduated still do better than the group that never went. And we need doctors and scientists!
Those that didn't go might be happier and some might do better. But the ratio is obviously much different. For every successful self starter, think how many millions hate there job and work dead end bull poopie (someone has to do it though until we build a robot).
I'd wager the number of graduates who suffer from having graduated is about as big a group ratio wise as the true success group without school.
Success being, financially ok to your personal standard and a level of happiness at work.
Go find a carpenter and make friends dude.
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No we dont.
Those markets are flooded, and for the most part those positions have seen a massive decline in adjusted pay rate over the past 50 years. We need people willing to work "regular" jobs in this country, and pay for those jobs to be liveable.
The one carpenter I know tells me almost religiously i dont want to be a carpenter haha.
All of that "finding your bliss" talk is a bunch of happy horsesh*t. It just doesn't work for 99% of people and telling kids to just "do what you love" is misleading and sets up the expectation that we should all be paid highly for doing whatever we want. The world doesn't work that way.
Quoted for truth. If we all "followed our bliss" who'd be doing manual labor, working in a field picking fruit, staffing customer service positions, cleaning up after people, sitting in a cube all day doing customer support, etc? The answer can't be immigrants making criminally low wages.
Find something you can tolerate, hopefully it pays well, enjoy your free time.
That's not to say there aren't people that are able to be successful doing what they love, but it's a bad thing to be teaching kids. If I followed my bliss I'd be drinking and playing an obscure genre of heavy metal all day. Not exactly a viable career option.
Quoted for truth. If we all "followed our bliss" who'd be doing manual labor, working in a field picking fruit, staffing customer service positions, cleaning up after people, sitting in a cube all day doing customer support, etc? The answer can't be immigrants making criminally low wages.
Find something you can tolerate, hopefully it pays well, enjoy your free time.
That's not to say there aren't people that are able to be successful doing what they love, but it's a bad thing to be teaching kids. If I followed my bliss I'd be drinking and playing an obscure genre of heavy metal all day. Not exactly a viable career option.
I take small joys in life, a little bit of something is better than all of nothing.
Case in point: I needed a new box knife for opening cases, and breaking down boxes at work. Got this little beauty on Amazon Prime for less than $10, and it was delivered in less than 24 hours.
Yep. If it rains or is cold out I put less ice in my mix. If its hot as fuq I put more. Humidity impacts primary fermentation to some degree but secondary fermentation far more. Our mixes are sponge based. When I look in a sponge trough and feel it, I can tell you if someone messed it up, and how it will end up running through our machines. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a dough was mixed well and developed enough after primary fermentation but before processing because it becomes so relaxed, but I certainly can tell you after processing and definitely after baking if the dough was mixed well enough. It is knowledge of the craft and science, but feel is definitely more important. With my job that is only one aspect though. I am responsible for scheduling all of the doughs for my production, so I have to take into consideration differing fermentation times for different doughs especially with regard to environmental factors, labor to run everything, equipment availability, workload management and work flow management. Everyday is like a complex puzzle that I have to piece together to fit everything I need to produce within the time slot allowed to my team. If I fuq up, everyone has a fuqed up day and it pushes back the team after me and the team after them, which ends up pushing me behind for the next night. The mixer sets the beat for the whole day, someone slacks in the mixing area and works to slow, it throws the beat off. If someone gets a little excited and mixes to early, we end up with overproofed dough that runs like sh!t, looks like sh!t and does not bode well in the freezer. Fortunately I have two guys that are excellent at their jobs and allow me to lean on them pretty heavily and focus on other issues at hand.
Thanks Max! I did not go to school to be a baker, but as a supervisor they have enrolled me into some online classes through the American Institute of Baking. I got the job because the pastry supervisor (also ex chef at L'Ecole Culinaire, we actually have a couple of those) was doing some work with a project that my step moms employer was engaged in. I just needed a job and this guy put a good word in for me on my step moms request. The only nice thing she has ever done for me. We don't even seriously consider people without baking experience anymore really. That is mainly due to the fact that we are moving to a brand new facility, that has been pretty well covered by the media locally and has drawn a lot of interest from job seekers. Management can afford to be far more selective now. In all honesty I think I got hired because I have a BA (that really doesn't impact any aspect of my job, just shows them I am not stupid and can apply myself) and because for whatever reason they were very impressed with my DIY skill set and attitude. I like to shoot guns. Pretty common for a midwestern male, but I didn't grow up with them. In college I got into the hobby and learned a hell of a lot very quickly. I wanted an AR-15 and couldn't afford to just buy one, so I did some learning and I built one. Management at the bakery seemed very impressed that I was able to build a rifle with no gun smith experience. Though AR-15s are really like a mildly complex set of legos. It's weird how that sh!t means something to some people. I just wanted a rifle and made it happen, haha.
This. There are better bakers than me, sure. But I am fast, I do good work, and I am incredibly consistent. That and I don't whine or complain even when the work load guarantees 11-12 hours by an oven before packing even starts.
Also this. I have a BA in sociology. It is effectively worthless when considering typical employment a college grad would expect to attain. Buncha money down the sh!tter, but I enjoyed my experience and I learned a lot. What I learned though, is that when I have kids I will encourage them to never stop reaching for more education, but if they want to go to University they'd damn well better know what they want to do and be passionate about it. If not its a money sink.
My wife and I have talked for YEARS about a food cart/truck sort of thing. Probably never have enough capital to open any kind of brick and mortar, but we might be able to start with something small and work up. You need the right location, good food and a gimmick of some kind (IMO.)
That's not stupid. First off, some people DO make a living in music. There's nothing wrong with hoping for and working towards that. I can say I lucked out because my wife is also a musician, and she supports anything I do musically. In fact, she is the main reason I picked up bass again in 2006 after a few years away. She encourages me. I just wish she'd play live again, but at least she'll record stuff with me occasionally.
You're a musician, dude. Sometimes people find they give that up or that part of their lives comes to an end, but it certainly doesn't have to be that way.
I don't know if I'll ever gig again, but I still hope to get there.
There have been times I had so much trouble with my wrists and hands I thought I would have to give up guitar and bass completely. You know what--if that ever happens I'll just pick up a couple of old synths and move into krautrock/hypno territory, or I'll pick up some harmonicas and craft some Doom Blues. Whether I'm recording, playing live, jamming with a group or just wanking off by myself for no reason other than my personal pleasure, there will ALWAYS be music coming from me. It's humankind's greatest discovery and it will never cease to be a part of my life in some way. Next to the love of my family and friends, music is THE most important thing in my life and a ruling passion. I can't see that ever changing.
Digging this! Thanks for turning me onto this.
That's perfectly legitimate. I guess some people might see that as discriminatory or prejudicial, but the fact is, some people do not like kids and just don't care to deal with them much. That doesn't make those people monstrous.
And when you think about it--what's so great about kids? They are sticky, they whine about sh!t all the time, they are needy little buggers, they don't drink, they haven't traveled....
All of the major and longest-lasting relationships in my life began just this way. Right after I got to the point of saying "Fock it...all my friends are hooked up, but I'm clearly destined to be alone. Who cares. I give up" someone would show up and I'd end up in a pretty deep relationship.
Man, talk about Quoting For Truth. That line couldn't contain one more molecule of truth or the universe would implode or something.
Not bad for personal protection either.
