I like how the Stranglers solved this. Can't please everyone, and an obstreperous delivery soon gets antagonism back, but it rapidly sorts out who is with them and who isn't. It's not the best way to deal with it but it was effective for them, and they changed because they let it change them. For a long time it didn't work out anyway, but they did solve it in the end because the question then becomes 'what of those who remain?' Are they 'cult', or 'family'. Cult leaders seem to want to control. The stranglers never did, they just defied those who made their lives difficult, as did many punks. The result, in later years, is a sort of family, people get on better because they never set out to be controlling in the first place. 'Success' need only be measured by there being enough people willing to pay to see a performance, to pay the bills and not leave performers wondering if it's worth continuing. By that time, those that stayed probably don't mind some new songs they can't relate to because they've already made the choice as to whether they 'belong' with what the band does in general.
None of that can be done on demand, or quickly, so there's little point wasting time by trying to please everyone at the outset.
When I've played at parties I sometimes get people who want me to play what they know, but I'm not a record shop. I won't say anything like that unless someone gets annoying, better to just talk to them for a moment if I have the time, then go back to what I intended to do. I can let the responses to that guide what I do, but there's no point in bending over for someone. It's a long-term problem, I can even hear this in some of Mozart's music! Sometimes it's inventive, glorious, strong, other times it minces about as if he's frightened of getting a footman's boot up his arse because some courtier found him to be out of favour that week. If we are lucky enough not to have to endure that kind of 'patronage' then we are a lot freer to choose than he was. So long as we can live with our choices, we'll get by. If I need to earn from playing, I don't need the approbation of half a planet. I just don't measure 'success' that way.