Probably the latter. Rhuematic conditions are an auto-immune disease, so surgery is usually the last resort after many other lifestyle changes have been attempted/implemented. The chief one for many RA sufferers is weight loss, but much is still being learned about RA and associated diseases. Smoking cessation, gluten avoidance (if celiac's disease is a possibility), the elimination of any possible allergens, etc., are all primary in trying to diagnose/treat them. Of course, many only really start to have problems in their 70's, at which point trying to make major lifestyle changes is difficult (the same can be said for heart disease). The vanguard for RA treatment is now biologics like Humira. These are incredibly effective, but are extremely expensive, not covered by insurance, and are dangerous, as they work by suppressing the immune system. Of course, if you've ever seen the disfigurement that RA causes in the hands of longtime sufferers....
If you read this and the related thread of Commreman carefully, I think you might agree that these healthy, athletic men are probably not suffering from RA (God help them if they are...), but from RSI's, which often can be treated without surgery (warms the heart to see so many suggest accupuncture), but often can't. Everybody's different, which is why statements like your "if you're over forty..." are not very helpful.
However, if somebody IS suffering from an auto immune disease, and hasn't lost the weight, stopped smoking, seen an allergist, endocrinologist, etc., then yes; surgery is probably a waste of time and money.
Also, surgery is like any other service- you get what you pay for and MUST shop around! If you feel your insurance company is preventing you from getting treatment at the level you deserve, making you settle for "the cheap local guy" then hire a lawyer or healthcare advocate. Money well spent, believe it or not.