"The Belt" (Master Class)

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by berman3313, Sep 9, 2010.

  1. berman3313

    berman3313 Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2009
    Had my first gig (on bass) playing out at age 55 the other week.
    I have a PBass Lyte Deluxe in Mahogany that's been pretty well cared for. I'd asked a long-time bass playing friend of mine for advice on what to do about a belt when you HAVE to wear one (the gig was in a sanctuary - with a blazer jacket no less) - so two levels of scratch-ability.

    Here's what he responded.

    >>Alright, of course you don't take off your belt when you're up there next to the bimah. Let me walk you through some possibilities. Lately I have been sitting down when I play a gig, especially if I'm not getting paid. This way I don't get tired so fast and I don't scratch the back of my bass. HOWEVER, sitting has taken away one of my signature moves, the "deep" hip thrust. If you must stand try bending forward a little so the bass isn't rubbing on your belt buckle, look straight down, towards the ground with an expression of suffering and concentration, you will be able to hear the audience say "The bass player is really getting in to it" in hushed reverent voices. The only problem is that you will be in actual pain if you don't straighten out your back after three or four songs. Whatever you do don't be one of those fags who has the bass strapped way up on their chest. They stand up there with their self satisfied grins as they pick out clever rythms and their precious harmonic inversions. Sickening! Of course I don't see you doing the Sid Vicious thing either, bass slung down way low. arms hanging down straight. O f course this is one badass look, but it is almost impossible to pull off by yourself. (The Pistols had another bass player behind the curtain doing the actual playing while Sid was spitting into the crowd.). Since you are concerned about scratching your bass with your belt buckle it suggests to me that you have it positioned just about right. The body of the instrument centered just above the pubic bone with the neck pointing out as a natural extension of your johnson. Don't worry about scratching your bass, after a few scratches and gouges you will display these as a warrior displays his battle scars. (Think Willie Nelson's guitar). Also playing from this position you can perform the "deep" hip thrust, (although I would take it easy next to the bimah) and the above mentioned move where you lean forward and grimace as you mysteriously produce profound and moving bass lines. I hope you found these suggestions helpfull, yours truly, The Perfect Master<<

    Anyone else have stories, tips on how to handle the belt when one MUST be worn??

  2. John Wentzien

    John Wentzien

    Jun 25, 2007
    Elberta, AL
    Artist:TC Electronic RH450 bass system (original test-pilot)
    wear the buckle to the side.
  3. Don't worry about it.
  4. fu22ba55

    fu22ba55 Supporting Member

    Apr 16, 2009
    What he said ^^^


  5. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI

    I wear my bass too high to worry about buckle rash, but moving the buckle would seem to be the easiest way to avoid scratching your bass and exposing yourself.....
  6. smogg


    Mar 27, 2007
    NPR, Florida
    I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
  7. My belt buckle is a seat belt and my t-shirt generally is between the belt and the bass.

    I dont scratch my bass....do get a few holes and worn marks on my T's though.

    Dont tuck your shirt in? ;)
  8. I don't get it, why do you have to wear a belt?.

    If your trousers would fall down without one then wear the buckle to one side, but if you don't then the bass would cover up the fact that your not wearing one anyway :).
  9. S. Katz

    S. Katz Guest

    Oct 24, 2008
    Los Angeles
  10. Tendril


    Sep 28, 2004
    Cleveland, Ohio
  11. Tendril


    Sep 28, 2004
    Cleveland, Ohio
  12. IbanezBass69


    Jul 14, 2010
    I wish I could use that entire piece of advice he sent you as a sig. It made me, to quote most internet users now, "LOL so hard!!!!111". But seriously, +1 on the scratch pad adhesive dealio that sticks to the back of your thunderaxe. Even with a shirt between myself and my axe, I still get some wicked bad scratching/gouging/general destruction occurring. Other options include wearing the bass really high or really low.
  13. Wear your shirt un tucked to cover the buckle . Sometimes I take a soft colored cloth, tuck it in between the buckle and my pants, and let it hang over the buckle. this provides a cushion without attaching anything to the bass. it only takes a second to set up, and when you are done take it off, and give the strings a little wipe. Kills 2 birds with one stone,or cloth.
  14. shadow_FIX


    Feb 23, 2010
    I usually move mine over to the side. I end up doing the same thing when I play upright as well.
  15. calshands


    Feb 11, 2004
    Or you could just let your gut hang over your belt a few inches. That'll work. :eek:
  16. ironrat


    Sep 24, 2008
    I use a piece of cloth over the buckle. No one sees it :)
  17. Take an old black sock and cut the top of it off. Slide the top part of the sock over your belt buckle after it has been fastened. Done.
  18. StuartV

    StuartV Finally figuring out what I really like Supporting Member

    Jul 27, 2006
    Manassas, VA
    Go to Wal-mart and get some clear adhesive-back contact paper. Cut a piece to fit the back of your bass. It's clear, so your bass will still look pretty and it will peel off later, leaving no residue.
  19. Lizooki


    Feb 24, 2008
    Gain weight and wear your pants a bit low. No one will notice your pants behind the bass, and the spare tire will keep the bass out far enuff it won't rub the buckle.

    Don't even ask me how I know! :smug: or :crying:


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