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The Heckler Thread - your best ones!

Geddyfleaharris

Geddyfleaharris

Mar 5, 2007
3,237
1,320
Portage la Prairie, MB, Canada
#1
Never did a search so maybe there is a heckler thread out there and how your band responds.

What prompted the thread was Friday night one of my bands was playing at a local club. When we started our first set there was already one table of patrons who were all pretty much fully inebriated. Part way through our first set this one full-on smashed girl starts walking up to the stage and waving her hands as if to say "stop". After a few times of this she walks up and starts waving her arms and yelling at us while we are playing "you suck". Repeatedly. Very funny. Finally she decides she wants to start fooling with my pedal board by hitting the on/offs on some of the pedals. No harm cause she never hit the line selector so never changed anything. I watched what she was doing and made sure she didn't get carried away.

I am pretty laid back guy so I took it all in stride and tried not to make a big deal out of it. The whole thing was ridiculous and pretty funny. The drunken girl had actually started yelling at us while we were setting up and doing the sound check. Our drummer though was ready to blow a gasket and thought that management should have tossed the girl out. I really think that one of the security people should have come and taken her away but they might not have been aware that she was touching my gear.

In the end the girl didn't make it through the first set because she was so blotto'd and ended up being carried out by her friends.

Any good heckler stories in TB-land? And how did/do you handle hecklers?
 
#2
I don't have any heckler stories about my current band but I do have a good one about my previous band.

I was the bass player/vocalist in a pop covers band but they fired me because they found out I had joined another band (whoops).

Anyway, I decided to go to one of their gigs not long after (no hard feelings etc etc) but they were poor and very under-rehearsed (which to be fair they admitted to me during the break). Even the bar owner, who I know from playing there with my new band, told me ''this is the worst band I've booked in the last six months''.

Unfortunately, the guitarist always had a tendency to have a go at the audience when things weren't going too well, and after one song he said ''could you all try to clap together please?''. The guy in the audience in front of me shouted back '' if you sing together we'll clap together''. Priceless.
 
#3
Another one where the management should have booted someone:

a classic rock band playing a dance out in the county, a liquored patron keeps yelling "play some f^@#in Brooks and Dunn".
We didn't play any country at all and it was well advertised just what we DID actually play.

Eventually the guy throws a 2 pound ashtray in the direction of the stage after another outburst. He's drunk, so his aim is pretty poor and no damage is done.
They kept serving him beer and he didn't get the boot.

Apparently the guy has been barred several times for similar behaviour, but nothing happened that time.
Just another attention loving redneck being a jerk.
:scowl:
 
#5
At an early(late 80's)RHCP show-
Heckler: 'You suck!'
Flea: 'Yeah, well we got your money!'
Later, same show-
Heckler: 'Play a song!'
Anthony, to Flea: 'Hey, this guy wants us to play a song.'
Flea: 'This guy? THIS guy?!? Well, let's play a song then!!!'
Not really great comebacks, & you'd need to be them to use the first to good effect, but funny at the time.
 
#6
mrpackerguy said:
Heckler stories, but I'd also like to hear if anyone has any good comebacks.
Click to expand...

Surprisingly I have a lot more patience at this point in my life than I did when I was younger. One of my college bands I took the spring semester off and we toured from February to August. I got so incredibly tired of people trying to sit in or just wanting to play the band's instruments. Most times it was during a break that we'd get approached, but sometimes it was WHILE we were playing.

After a while the interaction went like this:

Him: Hey, I play guitar/drums/bass (clearly hinting he wanted to sit in)
Me: Awesome. Tell me when your band is playing and I'll come check you out. (and then I'd turn away and ignore him completely)

The weirdest "heckler" I've experienced was with another college band. My guitar player Desmond was and still is the most talented musician I've ever played with (he's a studio musician/recording engineer/A&R guy now) and was the primary musical force in that band.

Anyway, at one gig some guy in the back yelled toward the stage incredibly loudly during a quiet moment, "HEY!! WHO GAVE THAT NEGRO A GEE-TAR?!?!" Desmond (who is black) and the rest of us just stared blankly. We couldn't figure out who yelled, or if they were trying to be funny or anything else. We never figured out what that was all about.

Though we don't see each other much, we talk fairly often and he's still one of my best friends. But a couple years ago when I was in SoCal and was able to see him playing a jazz gig in a small club in Hollywood I thought it would be funny to yell that out when I saw him before the show. And he also thought it was funny. But every other patron and musician who had no context for it just gave me the stink eye. Oops.
 
#8
I was at a friend's gig one night and the opening band was getting heckled by some douche pretty badly. After the set the band was outside putting gear into their van and had one of their girlfriends tell the heckler his car was being towed, so he ran outside only to be met by a well-deserved beating. I'm still impressed by their planning and execution. :)
 
#12
Have found that if a person is close enough to stage, holding the mic to them works wonders to shut them up, best done when they least expect it. No matter how wasted, once they hear they're own idiocy booming over the PA, they crawl away embarrassed. I suppose it could backfire, but it hasn't yet.
 
#13
Early 90's, the first original band I ever joined had set up a 3 band show for "friends and families" at a church hall. We didn't have a singer, and the guitarist wanted to be Yngwie Malmsteen so badly! Anyway... Half way through the set, my own brother screamed out: "Hey! Why don't you play another Metallica ripoff!". I laughed. The guitarist was not amused. :p
I still have the show on a VCR tape and can hear the heckle clear as day. It's great!
 
#15
debassr said:
I was at a friend's gig one night and the opening band was getting heckled by some douche pretty badly. After the set the band was outside putting gear into their van and had one of their girlfriends tell the heckler his car was being towed, so he ran outside only to be met by a well-deserved beating. I'm still impressed by their planning and execution. :)
Click to expand...

Sounds like a pretty extreme comeback. I don't think I've ever seen a heckler in real life who actually deserved to be beat up. If someone threw beer bottles or something at the band that's one thing, but yelling like a moron?

TBH, I've hassled a few bands and sound guys over the years. It's pretty disrespectful and I regret being such an ass(if it makes it any better I had always let them know exactly why they were bad), but it's also disrespectful to come unprepared to a gig and give a terrible performance when people paid money to see you. Most hecklers need to just be told to shut the hell up, but a few bands also need to be told how much they suck.
 
#16
dullsilver_mike said:
Sounds like a pretty extreme comeback. I don't think I've ever seen a heckler in real life who actually deserved to be beat up. If someone threw beer bottles or something at the band that's one thing, but yelling like a moron?

TBH, I've hassled a few bands and sound guys over the years. It's pretty disrespectful and I regret being such an ass(if it makes it any better I had always let them know exactly why they were bad), but it's also disrespectful to come unprepared to a gig and give a terrible performance when people paid money to see you. Most hecklers need to just be told to shut the hell up, but a few bands also need to be told how much they suck.
Click to expand...

I disagree 100%. Hecklers are self-centered, attention-seeking losers that should expect to be immediately tazed, beaten, hog-tied and ejected. If they really want to "help" a band, disrupting their performance is NOT the way to do it.
 
#17
I've had people yell stuff at the stage, but never what I would call a real "heckler". By and large live bands are just way too loud for anyone to yell over. And the ones that were quiet enough were generally music or venues where you didn't get drunk idiots to begin with, a jazz trio at an upscale restaurant for instance. Besides, bands I've played in have generally not left much space between songs to give them an opportunity.

In my Red Hot Chili Peppers tribute band our singer had very little gig experience before us so early on he made the mistake of interacting too much with people that just wanted to yell stuff and he wasn't the type to be quick on his feet to shut them down so it would occasionally be disruptive. Things like girls yelling for us to play Sublime songs or "Crazy B***h" when it was obvious we were doing RHCP songs only.

But part of being a professional is learning how to deal with idiots in a way that doesn't allow them to disrupt your show. How you do that is up to you, but I'd agree that beating up a heckler is way extreme.

As somebody that dabbled in standup comedy I suppose I have a different perspective. My take is (1) don't suck and you won't get heckled as much (2) if you are heckled be able to shut them down quickly.
 
#18
debassr said:
I disagree 100%. Hecklers are self-centered, attention-seeking losers that should expect to be immediately tazed, beaten, hog-tied and ejected. If they really want to "help" a band, disrupting their performance is NOT the way to do it.
Click to expand...

Well, agree to disagree on the fine points. I certainly think your characterization fits most of hecklers out there, but I can understand and even get a kick out of it when a few folks do it for what I consider a fair enough reason.

I think of many bar and club performances (obviously context is key) as raw enough that the audience can provide that kind of feedback if they like. It varies from venue to venue and show to show, and obviously I wouldn't condone heckling at a chamber orchestra performance, but when the redneck yells at me for playing "p---- folk music" at the rough-cut country bar he drinks at 6 nights a week, I don't think it is all that inappropriate in that atmosphere. I also don't make the mistake of booking myself there again, but not because I'm so angry at the heckler, because my performance was a very poor match for that type of venue and crowd--aka I did a bad job.

edit* on topic--I have always tried to get bandmates to agree to learn Cake's song "Nugget" solely for the purpose of responding to an extreme heckler. I think dedicating the next song to him and then breaking out into the chorus of that song would be great. I still haven't been in a band where I could get people to go along with it though.:( Anyone have actual songs they play for hecklers?
 
#19
My guitarist and I are both pretty quick witted and big guys, so most hecklers don't stand a chance. We ignore them as long as possible, but when they continue to get out of hand we'll lay into them.

One night a guy wouldn't give up. Finally, the waitress comes over as he's yelling the latest profanity at us, and I get on the mic...

"Danielle, can you find out for me what this gentleman is drinking?" Thinking I'm going to buy him a beer, the heckler says, "Budweiser" and puts his beer on her tray.

"Hang on," I say, "you can't be too careful these days. Do you know how many he's had?" The guy looks up and says "four or five."

"Really?" I reply, "Isn't that like a whole week's pay for you?"

The crowd busted up laughing and the guy left us alone for the rest of the night.
 
#20
dullsilver_mike said:
but a few bands also need to be told how much they suck.
Click to expand...


I know what you mean though I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. Unless of course I end up talking to a member of a band full of suckage and said member is full of himself and his band. Then he may get an opinion or two.

Thankfully neither of the bands I play in suck completely. :hiding: lol We manage to get by alright. :ninja:
 

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