Things that annoy you

[Jeff Scott]

Incorrect news
Invalid Link Removed

Gotta love the LAPD!

 

[kartiste]

You know what burns my tail? A little blue flame about THIS high, that's what!

 

[ZenG]

I get your point, but this assumes that everyone on the freeway begging for money is scamming, which is not true.

Once they all get used to the idea that money is free and can be had just by asking at a freeway ramp....then it's a scam imo.....

 

[Arvin]

Soprano saxophones.

 

[TOOL460002]

Hold on. There's someone walking their dog near my lawn. I need to peer through the blinds menacingly to make sure it doesn't poop on the grass. Haven't had a good yell in a while.

 

[FingerDub]

Hold on. There's someone walking their dog near my lawn. I need to peer through the blinds menacingly to make sure it doesn't poop on the grass. Haven't had a good yell in a while.

Occasionally, when I forget a bag for my pup I look around like I've committed a crime before leaving the scene.

 

[Jeff Scott]

Occasionally, when I forget a bag for my pup I look around like I've committed a crime before leaving the scene.

I have a photograph of you doing so, too. So, watch it, buddy.

 

[Axstar]

Facebook Market Place music gear buy/sell/trade pages. The whole premise is that you are cutting out the baggage of Ebay. So far, so good. But... a good chunk of the guys on these pages think that their basses are worth far more than they are. How many times do I need to see people who think:

• Anything made in Japan from 1965 to 1980 is "lawsuit" and worth £400 +, regardless of the condition.
• Anything Fender 50th/60th/whatever anniversary is collectible and superior to a standard model. If the only difference is an engraved neckplate or a wee sticker on the headstock then IT ISN'T WORTH MORE MONEY.
• Blatant lies. "One out of 200 of this type ever made" on normie-tier gear produced into the thousands.
• "Rare finish". Fender made this bass in this ugly biro-blue finish for four years in the early noughties. Not rare.
• Stuff in atrocious condition, marked as 'near mint', with a similarly delusional price. It isn't "as new" if I can see splintered wood.
• Stuff in atrocious, neglected condition that has "character".
• Remove those stickers. You like Greenday, NOFX and the Foo Fighters? Tell me more about your esoteric underground musical tastes...
• Stuff that is rare for good reason (because it was crap when it was new and hasn't got better with age). Not collectible, sorry.
• Oh yeah, I'm collecting '90s Hohner plywood basses. Find out how this millennial retired at 30 by collecting ultra rare, desirable instruments.
• Anything Fender has made in the last 20 years that is being sold at anything beyond 2/3 of its original price, excluding Custom Shop stuff.
• Anything ESP, Schecter, Dean or other 'metal' manufacturer has made being sold at anything beyond 1/2 of its original price.
• Quarter Pounders adding any value to your instrument.
• Gotoh 201s adding any value to your instrument.
• Knockoff Chinese pot metal Gotoh 201 clones adding any value to your instrument.
• '90s MIM Fenders (Strat knobs, single-ply pickguard, crappy ceramic pickups) for £100 less than a new MIM Standard model would cost today.
• Dubious celebrity link. "I got this from a guy who roadied for the Moody Blues in the '90s". Ah yes, Mike Pinder is a renowned player of Korean BC Rich instruments. Here, take my £1000.
• Attempts to appeal to my inner thicko (all of the above, with a sort of matey car dealer sales pitch thrown in).
• Ruined gear. If you sanded the finish off with a brick and then set the headstock on fire then your disgusting "mods" are the reason this junk will never sell.
• Any home relicing of a poly finish. Any. You're sick of it and are trying to get rid of it, so lets cut the nonsense and cut a deal that reflects accurately on an instrument with a ruined finish.
• Old Trace Elliot gear. Amps covered in matted fur, that sound like matted fur, smell like matted fur and weigh the same as a small car? Here, take all my money.
• Actually any 100 watt bass combo from the '90s. Works out at 0.2 of a watt per pound in weight and the port chuffs if you take the volume above 4. Here take all my money. The quietest and most inefficient 100 watts that money can buy.
  
• Nah I don't need a 20 watt practice amp, Police Line Do Not Cross strap and triangular stick-on pick holder. Keep them or donate them to charity. Lets focus on the bass!
• Optimistic sellers of broken gear. "Amp won't come on, but I'm sure anybody with any skill could get this working in 5 minutes". Here is £20 for your paperweight, I'm taking this to a tech.
• Strings wound the wrong way onto the tuning pegs. Bass has good tone and plays easily you say? How would you know?
• Whiners. Your stuff isn't selling because nobody wants to buy it, and insulting us won't make us change our views.
• Somewhere down in the coal seams there is a stratified layer of '90s Epiphone 'dot' Casinos with chipped headstock edges and a thick dredge of dust between the bridge and tailpiece.
• Next to that is a seam of Squier Affinity P basses in black, with those awkward oversized headstocks with the undersized little tuners.

 

[Fat Freddy]

Facebook Market Place music gear buy/sell/trade pages. The whole premise is that you are cutting out the baggage of Ebay. So far, so good. But... a good chunk of the guys on these pages think that their basses are worth far more than they are. How many times do I need to see people who think:

• Anything made in Japan from 1965 to 1980 is "lawsuit" and worth £400 +, regardless of the condition.
• Anything Fender 50th/60th/whatever anniversary is collectible and superior to a standard model. If the only difference is an engraved neckplate or a wee sticker on the headstock then IT ISN'T WORTH MORE MONEY.
• Blatant lies. "One out of 200 of this type ever made" on normie-tier gear produced into the thousands.
• "Rare finish". Fender made this bass in this ugly biro-blue finish for four years in the early noughties. Not rare.
• Stuff in atrocious condition, marked as 'near mint', with a similarly delusional price. It isn't "as new" if I can see splintered wood.
• Stuff in atrocious, neglected condition that has "character".
• Remove those stickers. You like Greenday, NOFX and the Foo Fighters? Tell me more about your esoteric underground musical tastes...
• Stuff that is rare for good reason (because it was crap when it was new and hasn't got better with age). Not collectible, sorry.
• Oh yeah, I'm collecting '90s Hohner plywood basses. Find out how this millennial retired at 30 by collecting ultra rare, desirable instruments.
• Anything Fender has made in the last 20 years that is being sold at anything beyond 2/3 of its original price, excluding Custom Shop stuff.
• Anything ESP, Schecter, Dean or other 'metal' manufacturer has made being sold at anything beyond 1/2 of its original price.
• Quarter Pounders adding any value to your instrument.
• Gotoh 201s adding any value to your instrument.
• Knockoff Chinese pot metal Gotoh 201 clones adding any value to your instrument.
• '90s MIM Fenders (Strat knobs, single-ply pickguard, crappy ceramic pickups) for £100 less than a new MIM Standard model would cost today.
• Dubious celebrity link. "I got this from a guy who roadied for the Moody Blues in the '90s". Ah yes, Mike Pinder is a renowned player of Korean BC Rich instruments. Here, take my £1000.
• Attempts to appeal to my inner thicko (all of the above, with a sort of matey car dealer sales pitch thrown in).
• Ruined gear. If you sanded the finish off with a brick and then set the headstock on fire then your disgusting "mods" are the reason this junk will never sell.
• Any home relicing of a poly finish. Any. You're sick of it and are trying to get rid of it, so lets cut the nonsense and cut a deal that reflects accurately on an instrument with a ruined finish.
• Old Trace Elliot gear. Amps covered in matted fur, that sound like matted fur, smell like matted fur and weigh the same as a small car? Here, take all my money.
• Actually any 100 watt bass combo from the '90s. Works out at 0.2 of a watt per pound in weight and the port chuffs if you take the volume above 4. Here take all my money. The quietest and most inefficient 100 watts that money can buy.
  
• Nah I don't need a 20 watt practice amp, Police Line Do Not Cross strap and triangular stick-on pick holder. Keep them or donate them to charity. Lets focus on the bass!
• Optimistic sellers of broken gear. "Amp won't come on, but I'm sure anybody with any skill could get this working in 5 minutes". Here is £20 for your paperweight, I'm taking this to a tech.
• Strings wound the wrong way onto the tuning pegs. Bass has good tone and plays easily you say? How would you know?
• Whiners. Your stuff isn't selling because nobody wants to buy it, and insulting us won't make us change our views.
• Somewhere down in the coal seams there is a stratified layer of '90s Epiphone 'dot' Casinos with chipped headstock edges and a thick dredge of dust between the bridge and tailpiece.
• Next to that is a seam of Squier Affinity P basses in black, with those awkward oversized headstocks with the undersized little tuners.

Is that all?.....

 

[Axstar]

Is that all?.....

Errrr.... people posting pictures of gear they either just bought or happen to own, but have no intention of selling.

 

[sissy kathy]

Errrr.... people posting pictures of gear they either just bought or happen to own, but have no intention of selling.

Com'on squeeze out the last bits, there's gotta be a little more, you can do it,...

 

[Axstar]

Com'on squeeze out the last bits, there's gotta be a little more, you can do it,...

Hmmmm.... mannnn.... this is starting to feel like work.

People who can't photograph stuff for poopie, and who photograph gear in their filthy bedrooms. If I can smell your room through the photo then you are doing something wrong.

 

[Fat Freddy]

Errrr.... people posting pictures of gear they either just bought or happen to own, but have no intention of selling.

Ooops!....Guilty....

 

[D M C]

Scottish gits.

 

[Axstar]

Ooops!....Guilty....

I just mean on Facebook market pages. Forums are where you discuss gear, and market places are where you buy and sell gear. I wouldn't start trying to slyly hock gear on random Talkbass threads, and when I tune into Facebook market pages I don't want to know that yet another corpulent old pub rocker found the ultimate (refin/re-fret/re-neck/replaced) '70s Jazz bass that plays 'like butter' (below the 18th fret).

Scottish gits.

Mon then ya weapon, I'll pure malky yer coupon. Yon Little Feet album is totally barry, mind.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

Hmmmm.... mannnn.... this is starting to feel like work.

People who can't photograph stuff for poopie, and who photograph gear in their filthy bedrooms. If I can smell your room through the photo then you are doing something wrong.

This one has been bugging me on my local Craigslist.

PUT ON A @#$* SHEET!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Axstar]

This one has been bugging me on my local Craigslist.

PUT ON A @#$* SHEET!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Perfect example. Beyond perfect.

"2nd bass: washburn mb4 p-bass w/ hard case $220
- she's an older one, mid 90s but still plays good ( may need a tune up too)"

That is an $80 bass. At least they didn't make the obvious link 'she's an older one' and start spinning a line about how this bass is vintage, classic, solid Honduran mahogany, better made than a poxy modern bass and has an excellent tone to match.

 

[D M C]

Mon then ya weapon, I'll pure malky yer coupon. Yon Little Feet album is totally barry, mind.

Not a clue.

 

[Fat Freddy]

Not a clue.

Not even a Sweaty can understand it half the time....

 

[Axstar]

Not even a Sweaty can understand it half the time....

I started on the West coast and ended up on the East. over the course of two sentences. Urban Dictionary should fill in the blanks.