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Thinking about quitting!

#101
Last post was a bit off-topic, but it was interesting to see @Hevy T 's post because this too has been crossing my mind lately more than I am comfortable for it to be.

While I'm still rather new in my current location (DFW) and know a fair amount of players here, I can't seem to get anything happening with like-minded players, getting a solid gig, even not getting called to sub by guys who have seen me play and know I'm more than capable.

My only outlet is open mics, which can be very hit or miss if you get paired with lesser players, or not getting on until late at night when I have to leave as I have an early day job. CL ads and BandMix haven't yielded much, there's been no shortage of flakes who respond who look good at the start but fizzle out one way or another.

I work hard to keep a vast array of various songs at the ready and in my head in the event I get paired with a frontperson so that I know their tunes.

But I've walked into my music room a number of times looking at my number of basses and library of thousands of songs I try to keep up on, and there's times when I ask myself what's the point.

While I get some satisfaction from home playing to me it's empty without live performing, and the lack of it has had me considering to call it all in.
 
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#102
mr80htz said:
Not just politics. There's been studies on this stuff, specifically noting that after the age of 30 most people tend to not try new things and stick to what they like...including their personality and way of being. Choice of hair cut, music likes, food preferences, yadda yadda.
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1) Yes. When I was in psycho/sociotherapy, the aim was to tweak one's personality. Therefore, there was an age maximum of some 35 years.

2) So this song must be about younger people. (Upon searching, I found a much later adaptation by Chet Atkins and Mark Knopfler.)
 
#103
Btbp said:
Interesting, I was prescribed them over 15 years more for headaches based on tension, mostly muscular, and I don't have any heart issues. I only take them occasionally.

I call them my "anti-piss off pills" - they make me either a little less guarded or less agitated, or a little more personable (most people misread my reserved-ness as something else, but that's mostly on me) or all of the above.

The BBs work in a very subtle way. I don't get stage fright but sometimes I take them before playing to take an edge off.
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Two weeks after I got my first (and only) covid shot I developed tachycardia and I could not slow my heart down. 115 was my lowest heart rate for a few months and it was very scary for me. Now with the Beta Blockers I am rock steady at 79 to 81. Yes I do feel the whole calmness and almost a Zen like thing often. But with stress of daily life it really isnt enough but I am more level headed than I was
 
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#105
Hevy T said:
Two weeks after I got my first (and only) covid shot I developed tachycardia and I could not slow my heart down. 115 was my lowest heart rate for a few months and it was very scary for me. Now with the Beta Blockers I am rock steady at 79 to 81. Yes I do feel the whole calmness and almost a Zen like thing often. But with stress of daily life it really isnt enough but I am more level headed than I was
Click to expand...
So do thing the VACCINE is complicit on your cardiac problem?
 
#107
Btbp said:
....

But I've walked into my music room a number of times looking at my number of basses and library of thousands of songs I try to keep up on, and there's times when I ask myself what's the point.

While I get some satisfaction from home playing to me it's empty without live performing, and the lack of it has had me considering to call it all in.
Click to expand...

During a couple dry times in my career, especially the last one inflicted upon us by all the closures and mandates when we literally couldn't make music in public and no one was hiring musicians even if they wanted to, I have to admit that the ol' question, "What's the point in practicing when there's no performances or playing opportunities to practice FOR?!?" has reared its ugly head.

The answer, really, is that while sometimes it's difficult to find the motivation to open the case and get to work, I always, and i mean ALWAYS, feel better after I practice. Clears the head, works the body, works the mind, and a sense of at least some accomplishment stays with you afterwards. It's the actual ACT of practicing itself that is worth doing; it's not just a means to a goal, but rather daily practice for its own sake should BE the goal. The performance opportunities and the increased command of your axe and the language of music opening doors for more indepth musical interactions with others are simply icing on the cake.

While I can appreciate goals and understand how they can be of benefit to a lot of folks, I try to live pretty goal-free, at least in terms of specifics. My philosophy is that if I set a goal and reach it, I probably could have/should have set the goal higher. If I set a goal and DON'T reach it, then I feel bad and get frustrated. So... what's the point? Why not just continually strive for improvement, work on the things that frustrate you the most or that you wish you could do better, and just enjoy the process?

Performances aren't the goal or the motivation. The act of practicing is a good, healthy act, and that's why I do it. It makes me feel good. I didn't always feel that way, especially in my very-much-goal-driven youth. Back then, I hated to practice but I did it because I knew I had to do it to achieve my goals. Now that I realize my goals back then (stardom, tons of gigs, screaming fans, fame, recording contracts) were really not all that important in the grand scheme of life (family, health, helping others), practicing itself has become a wonderful joy in my life.

Soo... just practice. Be happy. Be grateful. I know... easy to say, and I struggle with following my own advice at times. Yet... life is best when I am able to.
 
#108
Hevy T said:
Every single project I have gotten involved in since about 2016 has fallen apart due to…

lack of commitment from members
Inexperienced players
Clashing attitudes
Or all 3 if convenient!

I have gone through drummers that hit so light he had to mic his kit just in a basement setting

a keyboard player that just started playing that apparently knew everything about every instrument and how to run a band. Now she is a tax expert in one year!!!

a guitarist that wanted to use his looper pedal to record his solos and play them back live and just do his rhythms and get mad at the rest of us for not being at the right spot when he hits his playback button

we found a great guitarist and had 2 sets down in 2 practices when he let us know that he sold his house and was moving away

And this latest one! The new guitarist is a music teacher and has a habit to do songs in different keys and change the progressions while at the same time slowing it down considerably. Think Higher Ground at the same tempo as say Can’t You See and change it to Am and not follow the progression but make up his own! Today he mentioned that he is going to also seek out other musicians to play with. He was upfront so not a big deal to me. Lots of people have several projects on the go at the same time. But then the drummer that has to have all the songs in the same order as a set list flipped the other day because a song was out of order. Well he quit today because he got mad at what the guitarist said!

mall this plus stress at work because I do piece work and my expenses are up and profits are down!

I am just about ready to just quit and sell everything! This relaxing thing called music is stressing me out too much! Plus I get no sympathy or support from my wife, she just says that she don’t want to hear me talk about it!!!!

I don’t know! Am I alone or are there others like me lol?
Click to expand...

So Anyway, just curious...have any of these projects ever played any gigs?
I don't mean to be flip, but I wouldn't stay too long with any project that didn't have some work lined up or wasn't actively pursuing it.

Good Luck to you.
 
#111
As a long term working semi professional musician I can understand the frustrations that build up with our craft. I took a year out some time back just to be with family when the pressures of a full time day job & two nights playing every weekend simply got too much. These days I am a more relaxed person & have been extremely lucky to have played with the same line up for over 25 years now. The secret of our longevity being that we all get along famously, despite the different personalities, never take ourselves seriously & play what our audiences want to hear. We are looking very healthy for bookings in 2024 & being older guys now our biggest issue is managing our energy levels. Probably why our gear is getting lighter & has more wheels these days. I am really enjoying my playing these days but understand what it is like to lose heart or feel dispirited. Step away for a while if you have too. You will know when it is right to resume. Take care out there.
 
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