Thinking About Walking Away

[kirkm24]

It's been a while since I've been on Talkbass but was reading through the responses from my initial post back in July. So a lot has happened. The album that I did not contribute to was released. I was not involved in the studio recording, the live recording or the live video production. So basically I had zero involvement in this effort yet I'm being asked to help promote and celebrate it.

I know my attitude stinks in regards to this but I find it hard to be excited about something that I feel I was completely shut out of.

The whole album thing aside, I have been feeling burnt out and stretched thin. I've been playing for this ministry for 7 years, 5 services a weekend. I alternate between myself and another guy who is about 15 years younger than me. I am an unpaid volunteer although from time to time the Pastor has blessed us with some compensation for our time and efforts. I still love my church and the leaders and will continue to serve in some other non-musical capacity.

After all this time and careful thought and consideration, I have decided to step down from my involvement. A new bass player just came on board this week so I told them I would serve as a backup if the other guys couldn't play. This coming weekend will be my last weekend as part of the regular rotation.

Musically, I think I'm going to take a break for a while. I honestly have not touched my basses other then when I am playing at church. I have an acoustic guitar that I play for my own personal pleasure and I have been playing that most of the time when I have some free time.

I'm not stepping away from playing forever but I have stepped away from playing at church for now.

I kind of had a trade mark where I wore red Doc Martens. I only ever wore them when I played worship for this church. I called my wife on my way home from rehearsal last night and told her that the Docs would be retired after this weekend. I feel good about my decision (at least for now). I haven't had a free Sunday in years and I am looking forward to the time with my family.

 

[jthisdell]

I didn't play for 20 years, job, wife, kids, etc. Then I got back into it and now play bluegrass with a couple of friends, practice weekly, gig out at least a couple times of month. Not much money but a lot of fun. I am now a happier person, even my wife readily agrees.

So if what you are playing does not feel right leave that project but that doesn't mean you have to leave music and definitely not forever.

 

[bassbully]

Heck yea I feel like you and I am 53. The cool thing is there are some older cats still kickin out the jams. As long as the Stones can do it we all can right?
I played in thru high school then quit. At 40 I started playing bass so I'm long over due at least I think so. I have played since regionally and local with some great people, love meeting people at shows and the whole band nighlife vibe.

I jammed and gigged with 20 years old in punk clubs a couple years ago and it was a blast. I'm going to keep on going and you should too ..Why the hell not?

 

[Eilif]

Sounds like you definitely made a good choice. Lay ministry (and sometimes professional ministry for that matter) often comes in seasons and 7 years is a long time to take on such a large commitment.

It might be weird to not be the guy on the stage, but your family will be glad to have you around more often. All the best for this new phase of life and music!

 

[1954bassman]

Right now, I am playing bass at church. I am 61, so I know the day will come when my time on the platform will be over. I have played bass at the different churches I have attended through the years, plus I have always had a band, and side projects. Right now, counting the church gig, I am in four bands.

So to the OP, kirkm24 - just move on to other playing opportunities, ones that appeal to you. You are now free to get out there and play for real fun. Good solid bass players are rare. Go listen to some local Christian bands and start networking, throw your name in the pot. Swing by the local music shops and put feelers out for bands needing bass payers.

 

[Winterglo]

I've been a TB member for 8 years and have been playing for almost 20 years. I started out playing in Alt Rock bands in the mid to late nineties. In 1998, I played in a swing band and learned upright. We toured the eastern united states for 2 years and played more than 300 shows. Around 2000, the swing craze died and so did the band with it. I ended up finishing my degree at college and getting a "real job." Since then music has been a hobby. I've pretty much just played on worship teams at churches during the last 15 years.

I'm now 37, have grey hair and not young, hip and cool. The church I go to is a great church and love it dearly but I am beginning to wonder if my time has passed. The music is now all this "techno pop" stuff that does't leave much room for live bass (everything is programmed); instrumentalists just kind of play along.

The church hired an outside producer who is helping them release their first album of original music and producing a live video production. The producer is using his own bass player for the project. They are using our guitarist, drummer and singer but he is handling everything else. I'm disappointed by this but I am beginning to wonder if my time has passed.

I will never make a career in music at this phase of my life. I love doing it but it's just a hobby. Are any of you feeling this way? Do any of you have any advice? Is there an appropriate time to hang it up to make way for the younger generation?

They should use a drum machine

 

[slofut]

My best friend and music buddy Dwight died Aug 2012 from a terrible cancer, he was only 53 yrs old. I remember the last night he tried to come to the band room and play with us, he called me and said he just couldn't make it. A few days later my other bandmate and I went to his house to just play there in his den. We knew it was the last time. He still played like a million bucks even though his fingers were cramping from the chemo (it's on youtube). Two or three days later he was gone. You could tell the last thing he wanted to do on this earth was play his guitar.

A few years prior, Dwight and I also played with a great drummer Harvey Lang, two weeks before he died from cancer, during a break he told me this may be the last time he plays music. Again, one of his biggest concerns when he knew his time was up, was playing one more time.

Shake it off man, grow some balls, think with your own brain and let the lemmings go to church. Go find a band and play some shagin' Led Zeppelin (devil music, but you'll go to hell happy).

 

[Baird6869]

It's been a while since I've been on Talkbass but was reading through the responses from my initial post back in July. So a lot has happened. The album that I did not contribute to was released. I was not involved in the studio recording, the live recording or the live video production. So basically I had zero involvement in this effort yet I'm being asked to help promote and celebrate it.

I know my attitude stinks in regards to this but I find it hard to be excited about something that I feel I was completely shut out of.

The whole album thing aside, I have been feeling burnt out and stretched thin. I've been playing for this ministry for 7 years, 5 services a weekend. I alternate between myself and another guy who is about 15 years younger than me. I am an unpaid volunteer although from time to time the Pastor has blessed us with some compensation for our time and efforts. I still love my church and the leaders and will continue to serve in some other non-musical capacity.

After all this time and careful thought and consideration, I have decided to step down from my involvement. A new bass player just came on board this week so I told them I would serve as a backup if the other guys couldn't play. This coming weekend will be my last weekend as part of the regular rotation.

Musically, I think I'm going to take a break for a while. I honestly have not touched my basses other then when I am playing at church. I have an acoustic guitar that I play for my own personal pleasure and I have been playing that most of the time when I have some free time.

I'm not stepping away from playing forever but I have stepped away from playing at church for now.

I kind of had a trade mark where I wore red Doc Martens. I only ever wore them when I played worship for this church. I called my wife on my way home from rehearsal last night and told her that the Docs would be retired after this weekend. I feel good about my decision (at least for now). I haven't had a free Sunday in years and I am looking forward to the time with my family.

I really don't blame you. It makes it more difficult as the church is completely different than a regular band recordings it without you and asking you to promote it. I would also be upset.

Maybe it is time for a change.

Personally (at 46), I am getting fed up with doing $100-150/man rock cover gigs in bars where the owners expect me to bring 50 people every night. Decided to start a New Country band as there are literally zero in my area. I have never listened to or played this music before, but I am excited at the opportunity to completely change gears and do something totally new/different.

Good luck and keep the boots. I dont care if I look weird to younger people when I wear my Converse shoes or Blundstone boots all the time!