Even if he does put the bass away for now it's not going to wither away and die. The instrument will always be there for him to play whenever he's ready.
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Thinking About Walking Away
- Thread starter kirkm24
- Start date
Not needing to make money from music was the single best thing that ever happened to me and my music career.
Seriously. Take your situation as a blessing but find a new band. For sure.
I turned 63 recently and I've been playing music since I was 9 when I started on accordion.
I don't ever plan to stop playing though I slowed down with gigging for about 12 years while I went back to school, started a career in electronic engineering and helped raise my two sons, (both play music and one is graduating next year with a BA in music.) About 25 years ago I started back playing small but infrequent gigs and those started becoming more regular in the last 10 years or so.
Just last week I played my largest gig ever in front of 1200+ with prospects of doing a few more over the next year at the same venue and we hope this will lead to breaking into that market more. We also play at several town festivals and showcases as well as clubs and restaurants. Earlier this year we started doing a monthly set at a local country/bluegrass venue playing country jazz/swing that we do gratis for the exposure and which happens to be my favorite place to play.
Point being, I had thought of giving up playing when I married, went back to school and had kids but decided to cut it back instead since I couldn't give it up completely. Now that I'm retired from engineering I'm very glad I didn't quit.
I don't ever plan to stop playing though I slowed down with gigging for about 12 years while I went back to school, started a career in electronic engineering and helped raise my two sons, (both play music and one is graduating next year with a BA in music.) About 25 years ago I started back playing small but infrequent gigs and those started becoming more regular in the last 10 years or so.
Just last week I played my largest gig ever in front of 1200+ with prospects of doing a few more over the next year at the same venue and we hope this will lead to breaking into that market more. We also play at several town festivals and showcases as well as clubs and restaurants. Earlier this year we started doing a monthly set at a local country/bluegrass venue playing country jazz/swing that we do gratis for the exposure and which happens to be my favorite place to play.
Point being, I had thought of giving up playing when I married, went back to school and had kids but decided to cut it back instead since I couldn't give it up completely. Now that I'm retired from engineering I'm very glad I didn't quit.
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If you don't fulfill the creative side that lives within your soul, you may not be happy. I'm 51 and play in a great band. We play about once every 6 weeks and we have a great time. My wife and kids understand that this is a passion of mine and support it 100%. Talk to your wife...get her input before you decide to put the music away.
Do you enjoy playing bass? If yes, then why are you quitting? If no, maybe its time to take a break?
I'm 65 and just started playing again after 5 year layoff. I love it as much now as I ever did but, I needed the time off.
Wow! I am overwhelmed by the responses I got on this thread. I had no idea I would receive the outpouring of kind words and support from this great community of bass players! I really appreciate and have enjoyed reading all of these comments.
I haven't quit yet. In fact, I am on the schedule for this weekend's 5 services. I still love to play and acknowledge that after playing for 20 years there is probably no going back.
That being said, I have been thinking about taking a step back for a while now. I don't know when the time will be right to do that. I was feeling like this recent issue with the recording project might be the "sign" to step back.
I would like to explore some other options but also need to de-commit from some other commitments that I have in order for that to be possible.
I greatly appreciate the support and have a lot to think about.
I haven't quit yet. In fact, I am on the schedule for this weekend's 5 services. I still love to play and acknowledge that after playing for 20 years there is probably no going back.
That being said, I have been thinking about taking a step back for a while now. I don't know when the time will be right to do that. I was feeling like this recent issue with the recording project might be the "sign" to step back.
I would like to explore some other options but also need to de-commit from some other commitments that I have in order for that to be possible.
I greatly appreciate the support and have a lot to think about.
Our regular worship team that I play bass with was out of town but got to sit in with some Old Time country guys and played my upright with them a couple Sundays ago. They have been playing together for over 45 years. It was great! Old classic hymns with a strong old time country feel. They do regular nursing home gigs.
My point is, if playing bass is your purpose, play it. Become versatile and be where you are needed. I was asked to join this worship group because they needed a bass player that was a musician and I happened to be available and was also actively looking for a church to plug my family in. Be versatile and open to listen to God's direction. He will use you and your talents. I'm 41 with a family at home as well. I gigged heavy back in the day for a solid 15 years. Those days are gone, but my passion for the instrument and music is not. I plan on doing nursing home gigs in my old age. After all, it will be all the guys my age that are in there.
As a side project, my good friend and myself just recorded and self produced an [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]. You can stream it on Spotify if you like. He's got 10 years on me. Sorry for the shameless plug, but this is something we talked about doing years ago but never got around to it. Now we have and play to producing more.
God Bless and keep playing if that's what you're called to do!
I'm 62 and I'm playing more than ever. You're way too young to quit. Maybe take a break for a while but don't stop playing permanently if you still have the music in you.
I would find a different forum for expressing your love of music. I don't know what that is. But I would think of things like doing recording, like going to jam nights, or to marketing yourself to people in your generation with music THEY like!
I play... because if I don't, I'll simply go crazy..
Good luck to you brother.
Good luck to you brother.
It's never a bad thing to unplug and step back for a while. In many things -but especially it seems in churches- we are loath to step out of a ministry or service position even when it's not the right fit for us or when we feel we need a break. There are many reasons for this, but in my limited experience
-We are never as important as we think we are.
-Stepping back" is almost never a bad idea.
-Chances to get back in almost always come back around.
You're 37 and if you step away now, I'm fairly certain you'll have many chances to get back in if you want to.
Last year I tried to get back into playing for my church's choir. I've got a pretty busy schedule, but I wanted to play and to give the other bassist a well deserved break. It only took a few weeks before I realized it was not a good fit. I quietly bowed out and now I'm glad I didn't stick it out just "because".
I'm still not totally sure if you're thinking about quitting just the church band or bass altogether. It seems clear that you're ready to step out of the church band, and that's probably wise. I wouldn't hang up the bass entirely, but even if it goes into the closet for a while that's not the end of the world. Just don't sell it all off for a couple of years.
Others have made very good suggestions about alternate outlets. There are lots of musical outlets requiring relatively low levels of commitment.
All the best whatever you decide.
-We are never as important as we think we are.
-Stepping back" is almost never a bad idea.
-Chances to get back in almost always come back around.
You're 37 and if you step away now, I'm fairly certain you'll have many chances to get back in if you want to.
Last year I tried to get back into playing for my church's choir. I've got a pretty busy schedule, but I wanted to play and to give the other bassist a well deserved break. It only took a few weeks before I realized it was not a good fit. I quietly bowed out and now I'm glad I didn't stick it out just "because".
I'm still not totally sure if you're thinking about quitting just the church band or bass altogether. It seems clear that you're ready to step out of the church band, and that's probably wise. I wouldn't hang up the bass entirely, but even if it goes into the closet for a while that's not the end of the world. Just don't sell it all off for a couple of years.
Others have made very good suggestions about alternate outlets. There are lots of musical outlets requiring relatively low levels of commitment.
All the best whatever you decide.
I'll be 66 next Thursday, (7-16-15), will retire from 35 years with my company 7-31-15, (21 days). I've been in a classic rock casual band for years. Started playing when I heard Buddy Holly, Bobby Vinton, Beatles and Stones. Off and on at times, 4 nights a week in clubs at times. I've never really depended on the money, but always had fun. Keep on Rock'in!
Find yourself a couple different projects. No way I'd stay at the church if they wouldn't use me to record. Too much pride. Plenty of other bands out there.
Retired from bands from 1989~2006 when my children were growing up and only got back into it after an email from a very close friend saying "we fired our bass player, can you learn 100 songs in a month". I then asked my wife and children(nearing high school graduation age) if they would be ok with it and WE decided it would be good timing. No regrets, you are 100% correct on the point "being there for them". I've seen more than a few "successful" folks whether they were working as a touring band or in an artist's "road band" or simply career(any) workaholics who ended up being strangers to their children, family, and friends. They seem to mostly know they won't get do-overs in this case. Keep enough gear to practice, play small events if you like, and sell excess if required(I dumped a LOT of expensive basses to help fund colleges).
Church thing: I'll be blunt, even with many Bibles and reference materials and strong beliefs backed up by life experiences, a very large percentage of "churches" have sold out and are simply money-generating machines preaching feel-good, what you want to hear AND what the tax-exempt status ALLOWS THEM TO say in so-called sermons. They then top this off with the rock band/concert copy event. All of this in a country and world full of starving folks, genocides worldwide, head chopping, souls going to bad places, etc. I'd find a different church if your's is not to your liking.
PS: I'm 59 and my bandmates are 57~60. We ALL have day jobs/careers, families, and our children(except guitarist) are grown and living away from our homes. It works for us.
I'm 37..... and i'd walk away from that church. If YOU'RE good enough to put in YOUR time and effort to play for their worship team and honor God with a humble heart then it's only right that you play on whatever "album" they're producing. That's hogwash and that producer and whomever is making that idiotic call should know better, there's absolutely no lack in churches needing dedicated musicians.
I'll give voice to the "it's ok to pull back" viewpoint - I played bass from age 12-25, always in a band, fortunate to play with people better than me much of the time. Then I discovered Buddhism, and over the course of a few years got more and more into reading and studying about Buddhism than load in-soundcheck-wait/unhealthy band relationships/etc., so I finally quit and left the area at age 26. Age 30, my mom died, then my dad the year later. So I moved back home to take care of things, and in the process hooked back up with some of my former band mates. Almost quit the Buddhism thing (I was on track to become a minister), but circumstances had me selling the house, saying goodbye to my bandmates again, and moving to Japan for 4 years for more school and then ordination.
But I was back into music - did some recording at a new friend's home studio, got a laptop and M-Box with ProTools, and I was on my way! Even though I was alone I could manipulate stuff we had recorded, plus after the time off (6 years) I had a new outlook on the bass and music in general, finally composing and soloing. Been playing since then, even bringing the worlds of minister and bassist closer, though it can still be tricky to navigate.
So for me, the time off was beneficial - I needed to grow as a person to grow as a musician. Taking some time off is fine, if that's what you need to do. The drummer I was working with since the '90s had been playing since the '80s - even went back to Berklee College of Music and got his degree, only to see the music industry go through a massive change. Just last year he finally decided to "quit music" - he still teaches, but at almost age 50 he finally decided to stop chasing the dream. Hoping to jam with him and record next month when I make a rare trip back home!
The other thing I will add is that I did hook up with a drummer here (in California) and start a band - it was great, the guitarist was on the same page as far as time commitment - he had a family, I can't commit to a lot of gigs due to the nature of my "job" (on call 24-7 if a member of my sangha/congregation passes away) - it was perfect! But just as things were taking off, the drummer freaked out and went back home. End of band. He came back, started another one with a different guitarist that was going great - freakout again, band #2 done. Those times playing with a band really re-energized me. But this drummer was special, and I wasn't going to go nuts trying to find someone like him - instead, I accepted that we had a nice musical relationship and if he makes it back out here we will play again, if not I'm content not to play with a band for now. I still play though! Working on a solo set with 8-string bass, Taurus bass pedals and voice...
But I was back into music - did some recording at a new friend's home studio, got a laptop and M-Box with ProTools, and I was on my way! Even though I was alone I could manipulate stuff we had recorded, plus after the time off (6 years) I had a new outlook on the bass and music in general, finally composing and soloing. Been playing since then, even bringing the worlds of minister and bassist closer, though it can still be tricky to navigate.
So for me, the time off was beneficial - I needed to grow as a person to grow as a musician. Taking some time off is fine, if that's what you need to do. The drummer I was working with since the '90s had been playing since the '80s - even went back to Berklee College of Music and got his degree, only to see the music industry go through a massive change. Just last year he finally decided to "quit music" - he still teaches, but at almost age 50 he finally decided to stop chasing the dream. Hoping to jam with him and record next month when I make a rare trip back home!
The other thing I will add is that I did hook up with a drummer here (in California) and start a band - it was great, the guitarist was on the same page as far as time commitment - he had a family, I can't commit to a lot of gigs due to the nature of my "job" (on call 24-7 if a member of my sangha/congregation passes away) - it was perfect! But just as things were taking off, the drummer freaked out and went back home. End of band. He came back, started another one with a different guitarist that was going great - freakout again, band #2 done. Those times playing with a band really re-energized me. But this drummer was special, and I wasn't going to go nuts trying to find someone like him - instead, I accepted that we had a nice musical relationship and if he makes it back out here we will play again, if not I'm content not to play with a band for now. I still play though! Working on a solo set with 8-string bass, Taurus bass pedals and voice...
It depends why you are playing. (At church) I am 42 and a business owner, and a lame-o. A long time ago, I was "hip". I have the same deal at my church to some extent, but I play to serve, and also because I love my friends there. Musically it may not be my fave, but at church that is really not the point. I play in a motown band for fun, but church is for something different. Just my 2 cents.
Well, there are two things you could do. Find a music group outside of church that is fun to play in. Second, if you feel like playing in church is your personal service to God, then there are always other churches you could find whose music is not geared towards techno music. There are more churches that are non-techno than techno, as far as I know. Not only that, there are some churches who play music that require a really good bass player, not just a mediocre bass player. But it might be a stretch for you to change churches into a denomination which might not be the same as your current one, just to get into a music group that has challenging bass guitar parts.
