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I don't disagree that a commonality in purpose creates focus. I'm not willing to gig out right now. And when I was, just getting stuff booked (and coordinated with everyone) was a major uphill battle.
Prior to Covid the band I'm in played 40 dates in 2019 and had 39 dates scheduled for 2020. I was playing (mostly guitar and mandolin) at two open jams a month, and playing bass at church two or three times a month. I was also doing some solo work at local open mic venues. Of course everything came to a halt with Covid.
My regular band is starting to book gigs again, but its really slow going. All the local open mic opportunities remain shut down, and all the folks I played with at church had a falling out with the Pastor and quit. The open jams still have not recovered yet, so it's a musical desert out there with an occasional oasis. I guess one of the things I miss the most is the open mic scene; I was really beginning to gain confidence as a solo player and singer, and was getting a lot of positive feedback.
I have no idea if or when things will return to normal, or maybe this is the new normal and I just have to get used to it. I really have no advice for the OP; I have been in situations similar to what was described, and walked away for a variety of reasons. But it seems like everything is different now, and if you have a musical outlet available, it might be wise to go with it for now until something better comes along.
Thump on,
One_Dude
My regular band is starting to book gigs again, but its really slow going. All the local open mic opportunities remain shut down, and all the folks I played with at church had a falling out with the Pastor and quit. The open jams still have not recovered yet, so it's a musical desert out there with an occasional oasis. I guess one of the things I miss the most is the open mic scene; I was really beginning to gain confidence as a solo player and singer, and was getting a lot of positive feedback.
I have no idea if or when things will return to normal, or maybe this is the new normal and I just have to get used to it. I really have no advice for the OP; I have been in situations similar to what was described, and walked away for a variety of reasons. But it seems like everything is different now, and if you have a musical outlet available, it might be wise to go with it for now until something better comes along.
Thump on,
One_Dude
Finding skilled and committed musicians who want to play music, but not play out is tough. I am fortunate to have a weekly group of guys (all older) who fit the bill. That being said, I know not to expect these guys to work on arrangements or tighten their parts up in their free time. For them (and me) it is mostly about having a good time playing and hanging out with friends. Sometimes we sound great and sometimes not so great, but we ALWAYS have a good time. Keeping expectations realistic helps. Gigging and playing in front of an audience motivates people to get their s--- together---weekly jams---not so much. I will say that cellphones don't make an appearance when we get together and would get the offending party more grief than any musical mistake.
I'm glad you picked up on this. This is one of the most grating things and here's why. The drummer will hammer away at the kit when we're trying to discuss something. Or, will be doing something with his phone....it's not setting a tempo app, that's for sure. But, what makes it more irritating, is that he has the phone at hand constantly, but is always the last one to commit when we round up before Monday evening. And the first to beat feet when we wrap up...like Pig Pen, leaving dust in his wake (the kit stays at my house).
I think I hit my breaking point with it this week.
We generally have a good time together, chit chat about life and music and whatnot, which is part of the reason that I'm conflicted about it all. And like @One_Dude says, if this is the only outlet hold onto it.
I think there are more out there than people realize. Personally I know enough to field a couple of bands. In my opinion, the biggest hurdle is finding them. They are not the people on message boards and what not looking for a group. You have to almost run across them by accident. That is how we found the drummer my brother and I jam with. The fact we play music just came up in a random conversation and he was interested to come hang out with us. Now he is a regular.
Well, that is certainly a problem. If one is serious about their music, but doesn't want to play gigs, then finding like minded but highly talented and motivated folks to jam with would be a big challenge. To me it would seem that SOME kind of goal would be needed to keep the motivation high. If not gigs, maybe recording?
Not so much on this board or subforum, but I have heard many a tale of folks that just want to get together for their own jollies and make music. They can play the music they want without catering to what people want them to play. Once in a great while maybe play in someone's backyard for the wives and SOs.
For my 50th birthday I wanted to play music for the day. I pulled together a drummer, 2 keys, 5 guitars and a few people that just sing (plus me on bass). None of those people gig ever, but all play regularly. There were more than that I could have called if I wanted to. The types of people you are looking for are out there. I'm lucky since that group of people were all extended family and easy to find (My dad and one of his brothers, me, a brother, a sister and the balance was cousins). We have all been playing together since we were kids and our parents were young. We are good enough to play publicly. For a few cousins' weddings we kicked the band off stage and played a set. Same at my parents 50th Anniversary party.
i wish i had found that to be the case, but my experience is that sloppy people who don't practice tend to think their playing or singing ranges from really good to great already, so they don't improve when gigs are happening. they've been excellent examples of dunning kruger.
So a couple of weeks pass. Essentially, I did nothing. Made no decisions. Monday Band #1 got together. It was much better. Bass player suggested playing with dynamics, it worked. We played a song I learned for band #2 and it went well. It was fun, everyone was oddly more focused than usual for this jam. Off for another few weeks, but I suggested we pick a few to plan to play so I/we can all play them better. I guess I'm in charge of reminding folks of that.
Band #2. The singer got axed by the BL. A new singer was brought in. He fit immediately (we all played last night). We still make epically slow progress. Much of this is due to the BL's inexperience, I think. We played a tune and the singer looped the chorus where it wasn't supposed to happen. (Same chords repeat the whole song) and BL chunked it. I think he's so focused on fitting in the tightly practiced/rehearsed parts, he's not good at improvising or listening. So we have some interesting arrangement discussions and did a few songs, but certainly didn't accomplish a lot in 2 hours. But the fact that they others are prepared is a treat. I just play the guitar and don't have to lead the whole affair. I do chime in with suggestions....keys player can skip the cowbell as the singer can do it; start with a count in versus a held chord like the record - nobody will EVER know the difference; how to vamp, etc. New singer complimented us on focusing on the music versus everyone trying to be a star having the band back them and our adherence to volume control. We never really discussed the latter, just figured it out quickly. The original singer/guitar player didn't get what it meant to be in a band so that problem was sorted out. This is moving slow (and I'm OK with that, re: gigging) but it's neat to see it come together. New singer is closer to my age and brought a list of stuff he knows, so I played the rhythm on a couple of them and he fell right in. Bass player knows the tune so we'll do it next week. Looking forward to it.
Hmmm.
Band #2. The singer got axed by the BL. A new singer was brought in. He fit immediately (we all played last night). We still make epically slow progress. Much of this is due to the BL's inexperience, I think. We played a tune and the singer looped the chorus where it wasn't supposed to happen. (Same chords repeat the whole song) and BL chunked it. I think he's so focused on fitting in the tightly practiced/rehearsed parts, he's not good at improvising or listening. So we have some interesting arrangement discussions and did a few songs, but certainly didn't accomplish a lot in 2 hours. But the fact that they others are prepared is a treat. I just play the guitar and don't have to lead the whole affair. I do chime in with suggestions....keys player can skip the cowbell as the singer can do it; start with a count in versus a held chord like the record - nobody will EVER know the difference; how to vamp, etc. New singer complimented us on focusing on the music versus everyone trying to be a star having the band back them and our adherence to volume control. We never really discussed the latter, just figured it out quickly. The original singer/guitar player didn't get what it meant to be in a band so that problem was sorted out. This is moving slow (and I'm OK with that, re: gigging) but it's neat to see it come together. New singer is closer to my age and brought a list of stuff he knows, so I played the rhythm on a couple of them and he fell right in. Bass player knows the tune so we'll do it next week. Looking forward to it.
Hmmm.
Here's the thing. Getting a gig on tue books, even the simplest, most casual, gig, will answer all of your questions. If your band mates don't tighten up for a gig in front of an audience, they never will. Period.
Keep it simple. Stinky's Bar n Grill (everybody has a hole in the wall bar that has live music). Even if you only play out twice a year, just knowing that you'll be in front of an audience "some day" SHOULD get everyone to grab another gear.
It's not about the gigs themselves. It's about knowing there COULD be a gig, so we gotta have out mess together. If people in your band don't move the needle with a date on tue books, it ain't gonna happen. Period.
Then, if it were me, I would talk to the best musicians in both bands to see if it's possible to can the dead weight in both and form one, better, band.
Keep it simple. Stinky's Bar n Grill (everybody has a hole in the wall bar that has live music). Even if you only play out twice a year, just knowing that you'll be in front of an audience "some day" SHOULD get everyone to grab another gear.
It's not about the gigs themselves. It's about knowing there COULD be a gig, so we gotta have out mess together. If people in your band don't move the needle with a date on tue books, it ain't gonna happen. Period.
Then, if it were me, I would talk to the best musicians in both bands to see if it's possible to can the dead weight in both and form one, better, band.
@two fingers Thanks. If it was 2019, I'd agree with you on the gigs and my feeling of getting out there to do it. I, personally, don't feel the need any longer. I also don't want to for a variety of reasons (all available via PM should anyone care)....maybe certain venues, but I have a "new outlook" on this these days. This is my hurdle to overcome and I'm not terribly worried because while some of the guys want to gig, their not going to to do anything to make it happen.
But, Band #1 has pulled it off before, which was a metric ton of work from me leading the charge. We had three on the books as of March 2020. We had been working on "six packs of tunes" where we'd work really hard on a few songs to be played as a recorded set (ie, without **** ups). We probably need to get back to that.
Contra with Band #2, which I don't lead. As of last week, I'm having fun seeing how it's done. The BL is a bit inexperienced and inflexible. By the record. The whole arrangement. Which causes some trouble because what is like dead simple stuff is a lot harder than it maybe should be. For instance, we went around 8 measures versus 6 to start a tune. He was off his sheet music. It's a vamp, just listen and jump in. Singer did a chorus twice and again that created some minor trainwreck. I said that this is the kind of stuff that happens on stage, so you better learn to roll with it in the basement. Band 1 has no issue with this sort of stuff. It's interesting to see it two different ways. We still didn't accomplish much in 2 hours, but I'm learning (or revisiting) some things I can use to coach #1 along.
Given this BL in #2, nobody from band 1 would work in that environment.
But, what I'm liking about Band #2 at the moment is that I am "employee" (unpaid). I don't say much on song selection as long as I can play it. I learn my parts and show up prepared. It's close to my house and on a weeknight so not cutting into something else I could be doing. I just ordered a new multi-effects pedal (which is pushing the boundaries for me) to make moving stuff easier so I'm a little inspired to try something new (which I couldn't get inspired over the last 16 months).
But, Band #1 has pulled it off before, which was a metric ton of work from me leading the charge. We had three on the books as of March 2020. We had been working on "six packs of tunes" where we'd work really hard on a few songs to be played as a recorded set (ie, without **** ups). We probably need to get back to that.
Contra with Band #2, which I don't lead. As of last week, I'm having fun seeing how it's done. The BL is a bit inexperienced and inflexible. By the record. The whole arrangement. Which causes some trouble because what is like dead simple stuff is a lot harder than it maybe should be. For instance, we went around 8 measures versus 6 to start a tune. He was off his sheet music. It's a vamp, just listen and jump in. Singer did a chorus twice and again that created some minor trainwreck. I said that this is the kind of stuff that happens on stage, so you better learn to roll with it in the basement. Band 1 has no issue with this sort of stuff. It's interesting to see it two different ways. We still didn't accomplish much in 2 hours, but I'm learning (or revisiting) some things I can use to coach #1 along.
Given this BL in #2, nobody from band 1 would work in that environment.
But, what I'm liking about Band #2 at the moment is that I am "employee" (unpaid). I don't say much on song selection as long as I can play it. I learn my parts and show up prepared. It's close to my house and on a weeknight so not cutting into something else I could be doing. I just ordered a new multi-effects pedal (which is pushing the boundaries for me) to make moving stuff easier so I'm a little inspired to try something new (which I couldn't get inspired over the last 16 months).
Eject and learn how to use GarageBand. I was in between bands when GB first came out and it was a super easy way to start figuring out what "my music" was. I just jumped right in and eventually learned the basics of recording, arranging, drum & synth programming, etc. I started by writing incredibly simple songs and using the rhythm loops that came included with GB, and just went from there, #practicemakeslessawful. The unintended bonus was that building up my abilities as "virtual bandleader" and "producer" gave me the "big picture" view of songs and helped me develop as a bass player because now I could hear what THE SONG actually needed, rather than worry about what was fancy & fun to play.
After 2 years, I'd built up a lot of new songs and skills, and when I was ready to start playing with other people again, I could confidently say "yeah, I've got some songs we can play" and actually help guide and have a real voice in the new band, rather than take the usual bassist's backseat to the songwriting guitar player.
After 2 years, I'd built up a lot of new songs and skills, and when I was ready to start playing with other people again, I could confidently say "yeah, I've got some songs we can play" and actually help guide and have a real voice in the new band, rather than take the usual bassist's backseat to the songwriting guitar player.
