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Question of the Ages:
Which of Jatoba's Tone Woods is his Favorite ?
Jatoba did create all the tonewoods, and imbue them with His tone. The Ash, the Alder, the mighty Mahogany and the Maple with its flame, all of these and many more did Jatoba create. The Basswood, the Pawlonia, the Hickory, and that weird wood from Indonesia, did He create. The Hackberry, and the naughty Pine, the Spruce top and the Masonite, all of these are Jatoba's works. The Rosewood, of which Jatoba has created so many even He is not sure which is the real one. And yet He hath no favorite among them, He sayeth not which is better than another, nor one is best. Jatoba is content to sit back and let the numbskulls duke it out amongst themselves. In fact, He created TalkBass for that very purpose.
Praise Jatoba !!!
Which of Jatoba's Tone Woods is his Favorite ?
Jatoba did create all the tonewoods, and imbue them with His tone. The Ash, the Alder, the mighty Mahogany and the Maple with its flame, all of these and many more did Jatoba create. The Basswood, the Pawlonia, the Hickory, and that weird wood from Indonesia, did He create. The Hackberry, and the naughty Pine, the Spruce top and the Masonite, all of these are Jatoba's works. The Rosewood, of which Jatoba has created so many even He is not sure which is the real one. And yet He hath no favorite among them, He sayeth not which is better than another, nor one is best. Jatoba is content to sit back and let the numbskulls duke it out amongst themselves. In fact, He created TalkBass for that very purpose.
Praise Jatoba !!!
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Jatoba hath taken a poll in the Kingdom of Tone, to find which of His Tone Woods are the favorite among His disciples who have joined Him there. He did ask Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, John, Paul, and George, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Prince, and many others.
The result is: most of them knoweth not what kind of wood they play, nor care. This is not what Jatoba expected, and casteth Him into doubt about the entire program. Is tonewood appreciated only by "cork sniffers," not real musicians? Jatoba must do further market research.
The result is: most of them knoweth not what kind of wood they play, nor care. This is not what Jatoba expected, and casteth Him into doubt about the entire program. Is tonewood appreciated only by "cork sniffers," not real musicians? Jatoba must do further market research.
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I begin to doubt the Faith of Jatoba. I have secured a disguise, a pair of eyeglasses with fake nose and mustache attached, which should facilitate further drop testing at Guitar Center. Perhaps my previous lack of results was due to not dropping the test article from sufficient height, so I am especially keen to drop test some of the guitars that are up by the ceiling. As always, I will post my results here.
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I appeal to the TalkBass community. My drop testing experiments have again gone awry, and I need $10000 to post bail. Can someone set up a crowdfunding campaign for me? I am only allowed to go online for five minutes a day.
good news! i have escaped from my wrongful imprisonment and ... gotta go ...
More Good News!
Jatoba's Witnesses has successfully petitioned President Trump to pardon me.
They used the time-tested tonewood adherents strategy of just repeating the same thing over and over and over until he finally exclaimed "All right, already, will you people just go away!" and signed it.
You don't truly appreciate freedom until it is taken away from you. I wonder if the nose glasses will work at Sam Ash.
Jatoba's Witnesses has successfully petitioned President Trump to pardon me.
They used the time-tested tonewood adherents strategy of just repeating the same thing over and over and over until he finally exclaimed "All right, already, will you people just go away!" and signed it.
You don't truly appreciate freedom until it is taken away from you. I wonder if the nose glasses will work at Sam Ash.
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View attachment 1363890
Well, now both science and faith have failed me in my quest for tonewood truth. I guess I will just go back to the beginning, and build a guitar out of this board and see what happens.
BTW, it is teak, 18"x24", 1.5" thick, from Home Depot. I got it free as one of their product reviewers. It is a gorgeous piece of wood, and I have no intention of hacking it up in the kitchen, although I'm sure it would be a top-notch cutting board.
Teak is oily and difficult to glue, but it is also very hard. Therefore, an easy oiled finish should work well. A softer wood would quickly get all dinged-up without the protection of a better finish. Teak is also known to wear out tooling quickly, but I doubt just one body will do much harm. I can afford a bandsaw blade and some sanding belts if it eats them.
Well, now both science and faith have failed me in my quest for tonewood truth. I guess I will just go back to the beginning, and build a guitar out of this board and see what happens.
BTW, it is teak, 18"x24", 1.5" thick, from Home Depot. I got it free as one of their product reviewers. It is a gorgeous piece of wood, and I have no intention of hacking it up in the kitchen, although I'm sure it would be a top-notch cutting board.
Teak is oily and difficult to glue, but it is also very hard. Therefore, an easy oiled finish should work well. A softer wood would quickly get all dinged-up without the protection of a better finish. Teak is also known to wear out tooling quickly, but I doubt just one body will do much harm. I can afford a bandsaw blade and some sanding belts if it eats them.
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Well done, my friend. This thread was incredible right down to the end. It should be a sticky but apparently nobody understands what is going on. Maybe the JW's never leave the "Tone" "Wood" forum (you can find it right under the Tort forum). But I digress: Not Nobody nobody, just regular nobody; "nobodies" if you will. Nobody certainly loved this thread.
Unrelated to anything said in this thread, I suspect that you will face a ban at some point. The people who speak the truth of bass absurdity always get banned.
Unrelated to anything said in this thread, I suspect that you will face a ban at some point. The people who speak the truth of bass absurdity always get banned.
HERESY!!!!
Only large orange or striped capacitors delivereth the holy tone!
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I have read the holy words in post #121. Forgive me for thinking a capacitor affected tone.
The capacitor only removeth tone, and is therefore square with Jatoba.
Unless that capacitor be in an "active Pre amp". This Jatoba will not brook.
Wouldst thou play god with tone?
Jatoba is already irritated by all those who are named "Guitar Gods." Especially Slash, who badly needeth a haircut.
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Caps and nitro are the sacraments of Jatoba.
This is my cap, tweaked thou this to roll off the highs all of you and remember me.
This is my finish of the new relic, poured on for all. Wear this down to bare wood in remembrance of me.
Mekka lekka hi mekka hiney ho - long live Jatoba!
Jatoba's Witnesses Online Training Materials
Watch these demonstration videos produced by the Jatoba's Witness Training Corps for dealing with tone wood non-believers. These should help you counter their heresies with solid lucid scientific logic.
As always, re-state your facts as often as necessary. In online forums like TalkBass, use cut-and-paste. Never allow an unbeliever to have the last word. All heretics can and must be saved. It's up to YOU to spread the Gospel of Jatoba and make sure it is hammered home with no mercy.
Watch these demonstration videos produced by the Jatoba's Witness Training Corps for dealing with tone wood non-believers. These should help you counter their heresies with solid lucid scientific logic.
As always, re-state your facts as often as necessary. In online forums like TalkBass, use cut-and-paste. Never allow an unbeliever to have the last word. All heretics can and must be saved. It's up to YOU to spread the Gospel of Jatoba and make sure it is hammered home with no mercy.
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