Tort Top

[CaribooBass]

Warning
So Do not read this if you are a fan of what is called a “Tort Pick Guard “ in the United States.

These strange bits of plastic are made from Luncheon meat. Christmas Sausage that is served with cheese and ritz crackers.
They go mouldy shortly after leaving the factory. That is why the pick guard is the only thing on a new bass covered in plastic.
They have Red Tort, Green Tort and black Tort. All Colours of the decay of Mould.
There is even a warning in the paper work of a new Fender bass that says “ some of these parts are known to cause cancer”.

So yes that is why the full size Tort sheet is not available in Canada. It violates F.D.A rules.

In closing every time I see a video and the Bass player has a sandwich meat pick guard all I hear is the old jingle from my childhood.

My Bologna has a first name it’s F e n, D E R!

I will see myself out

 

[Matt Liebenau]

Warning
So Do not read this if you are a fan of what is called a “Tort Pick Guard “ in the United States.

These strange bits of plastic are made from Luncheon meat. Christmas Sausage that is served with cheese and ritz crackers.
They go mouldy shortly after leaving the factory. That is why the pick guard is the only thing on a new bass covered in plastic.
They have Red Tort, Green Tort and black Tort. All Colours of the decay of Mould.
There is even a warning in the paper work of a new Fender bass that says “ some of these parts are known to cause cancer”.

So yes that is why the full size Tort sheet is not available in Canada. It violates F.D.A rules.

In closing every time I see a video and the Bass player has a sandwich meat pick guard all I hear is the old jingle from my childhood.

My Bologna has a first name it’s F e n, D E R!

I will see myself out

My only question there would be, is it really the FDA in Canada? It seems like it would be (in a fit of Pythonism) the Ministry of Moldy Luch Meats or some such.

 

[Bruce Johnson]

My only question there would be, is it really the FDA in Canada? It seems like it would be (in a fit of Pythonism) the Ministry of Moldy Luch Meats or some such.

I think The Moldy Lunch Meats could be a good band name.

 

[bdplaid]

Warning
So Do not read this if you are a fan of what is called a “Tort Pick Guard “ in the United States.

These strange bits of plastic are made from Luncheon meat. Christmas Sausage that is served with cheese and ritz crackers.
They go mouldy shortly after leaving the factory. That is why the pick guard is the only thing on a new bass covered in plastic.
They have Red Tort, Green Tort and black Tort. All Colours of the decay of Mould.
There is even a warning in the paper work of a new Fender bass that says “ some of these parts are known to cause cancer”.

So yes that is why the full size Tort sheet is not available in Canada. It violates F.D.A rules.

In closing every time I see a video and the Bass player has a sandwich meat pick guard all I hear is the old jingle from my childhood.

My Bologna has a first name it’s F e n, D E R!

I will see myself out

You might be onto something. I also like pickguards made of Head Cheese and Fruitcake.

 

[Max Bogosity]

It's the Ministry of "Well we certainly won't eat that, but let's see if we can sell it to the Yanks"

 

[gyancey]

Drum Wrap 16"x60" 0.46mm Brown Tortoise Celluloid Sheet Musical Instrument Sheet | eBay

Interesting material, I like that it's translucent. Depending on the adhesive type (clear epoxy?) the substrate could be used as part of the effect. Put over a metal flake, or let the wood grain through, or make it the top layer of an acrylic guitar for that ultimate MCM lampshade effect.

 

[Beej]

Interesting material, I like that it's translucent. Depending on the adhesive type (clear epoxy?) the substrate could be used as part of the effect. Put over a metal flake, or let the wood grain through, or make it the top layer of an acrylic guitar for that ultimate MCM lampshade effect.

I'm really, really liking this idea.