Two bassists may be one too many

[Sam Dingle]

Yeah I think you should bail. If it's a husband and wife band and the wife wants to play bass it looks like you're out of a gig.

 

[pholli00]

No matter how you put it, the band is going to side with the singer only because they are harder to replace.
No matter how you put it, the man is going to stick up for his girlfriend / wife even if she is in the wrong.
No matter how you put it, you are just the bass player and can be replaced by a singing girl who happens to be sleeping with the guitarist.

Ouch.

 

[levis76]

Opinions please....

I started in a band a couple years ago. Me on bass, a dude on guitar and his wife as singer. Another guitar and a drummer. Material includes Metallica, Soundgarden, Petty, Alice In Chains, Hendrix,,etc.... also originals....you get the idea. We played one gig during this time as rehearsal time is difficult and we replaced a drummer recently. Here's where it gets weird. A couple years ago when our pratctices were spread out by over a month each, the wife of the guitarist decided she should learn bass and start a girl band project. Well, that didn't go and so she started filling in when I couldn't make it. That's also how she writes her songs. Anyway, my conclusion is that while she likes to play bass, I am a bass player. I play the parts of the song she plays what she can. Much of the time I can't distinctly hear my part and its muddy.

Today I texted the main guitarist that perhaps we could decide on having me play the more difficult tunes and she could play on the easy ones. To me, the sound isn't crisp and tight it is muddy to have us both playing....even if improvise other parts that stay out of her way. Anyway, he said he didn't think that would work because she likes playing bass.

I think the band is cool and I have a bit of fun playing but think if they are ok with how she plays and are satisfied with her bass playing its time for me to bail.

I read only the OP, none of the other replies besides KBD's because it was right there, and I agree totally, as usual. If you aren't out by now, you will be soon.

I would finish up whatever gigs are on the schedule and say farewell. There are plenty more bands out there that would love to have you I'm sure.

 

[TjMetalhead]

Don't know if it's been said already but don't ever EVER start or join a band where there's a couple involved. It always leads to disaster. You're a bass player so finding a new gig shouldn't be hard.

 

[Worldeeeter]

This situation will only end badly. The longer it goes on, the worse it will be.

 

[funkinbottom]

I agree with most here. Bail. Run fast, run far. Two bassists just doesn't seem to work. Especially when you have an experienced player, you and a fumbling beginner, Her. The only time
it does work is if the players on the level of your Wooton, Clarke, ,Miller etc. where one lays the groove, one plays more chordal, one solos. Otherwise, fa get about it.

 

[MrLenny1]

Leave.
She is the wife and it will get sticky.
I've been there before.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

If you want to stay, you should give an ultimatum, either she plays bass or you play bass. But if you've been practicing for a couple years and have played out once, you should probably leave anyways unless you're happy with that situation. Some people are and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[smogg]

Run!

^^^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^^

No matter how you put it, the band is going to side with the singer only because they are harder to replace.
No matter how you put it, the man is going to stick up for his girlfriend / wife even if she is in the wrong.
No matter how you put it, you are just the bass player and can be replaced by a singing girl who happens to be sleeping with the guitarist.

^^^^^^^^ and THIS ^^^^^^^^ end of story!

 

[gjohnson441496]

its time for me to bail.

Yep

 

[gjohnson441496]

Her husband is the guitar player and she discovered bass? She's the new bass player.

 

[singlemalt]

Should we have a "married couples in bands" horror story contest?

Or does that need its own epic thread?

 

[CB3UK]

Unless you're Steve Bailey and she's Victor Wooten....or an upright player, I wouldn't have let that get past practice #1. Bail.

 

[planetdrumz]

I'd get out now! Thats a bunch of BS for sure!

 

[Single Coil]

I guess I get to be the guy that contests popular opinion. I've been in the same originals band since December 2002; the singer and the guitarist are married and have been since before I joined.

We've recorded three albums together and have played hundreds of gigs. We've never even had a conflict of any consequence. We have gone through several drummers, but we didn't fire any of them. One moved on to bigger and brighter things, one moved on to smaller and dimmer things, another wanted to spend more time with his family.

I don't know why it works so well, it just does.

 

[Mo cowbell]

Talked to husband of the woman who likes to play bass. He knew it was coming. It was amicable. Picking up my amp soon.

Interesting ....the drummer who was resleased sent a group text msg to see what's up.

 

[TerriblePeril]

...I had some time traveling so there was going to be a gap of a few weeks between the audition and when we started rehearsing.

 

[singlemalt]

Nice! You think he'd have been able to get back in no time at all!

 

[Stevorebob]

Talked to husband of the woman who likes to play bass. He knew it was coming. It was amicable. Picking up my amp soon.

Interesting ....the drummer who was resleased sent a group text msg to see what's up.

Peace, bro. You're better off. Get with a real band.

 

[Mo cowbell]

Should we have a "married couples in bands" horror story contest?

Or does that need its own epic thread?

DO IT!