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Two bassists may be one too many

Should I stay or should I go now....

  • Stay - deal with it and hope she changes her mind

    Votes: 1 1.0%

  • Go- hope someone else picks me up

    Votes: 97 95.1%

  • Drink more and deal with it7

    Votes: 4 3.9%
  • Total voters
    102
#22
Mo cowbell said:
I do like the whole band and consider them friends.
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That's where it can get a little sticky. I'm in the same situation in the bands I'm in now (the friends part not the two-bass players part). I'm not at the point of walking from either of the bands I'm in but I still get it. You don't want to wreck friendships but neither do you want to continue in a non-productive, frustrating band environment. If it helps at all, try to think of the band as a separate professional venture aside from your friendships. Don't tolerate anything in the band that you wouldn't tolerate at a regular job.
 
#26
hrodbert696 said:
A year or two ago, I auditioned for a husband/wife couple who said they were starting a blues band and had a bunch of original material. We were all set, they sent me all their originals, I had some time traveling so there was going to be a gap of a few weeks between the audition and when we started rehearsing. Meanwhile I drilled all their stuff and learned it, probably not stone cold perfect but pretty close. I get back from my trip and promptly start messaging the guitarist/husband to ask when we start rehearsing, I'm ready to go. He puts me off and says he'll get back to me... and hold on, there's a conflict with the drummer... etc. etc. Weeks go by and I keep drilling the material, really eager to get this project started. After a month or so of this he writes me to say thanks but they decided not to do that project after all.

In the meantime I had friended both of them on Facebook. About a week after that message the wife/singer posts that she's excited to start learning bass.
Click to expand...

charlie monroe said:
True, they are all round.

They also bounce, and so should you.
Click to expand...

Ha!
 
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#27
Stevorebob said:
One gig in two years is a jam not a band. If you like jamming and hanging out, stay. It doesn't matter much how many players a jam has, so the singer-learning-bass is not an issue. If you want to gig, get with some players who are motivated to gig, because these folks aren't interested.
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There have been hiccups but they're trying to push and get more serious about gigs. We even have a CD with 6 tunes and 2 new originals. They want to rerecord all 8 into a unit. This project is different in that no one really wants to play 3 one hour sets and they spend more time on originals than cover material to bulk up a gig set.
 
#29
Yeah BALLS- we get it, gang!

I'm pretty sure most of have balls and the female 'bassist-to-be' in discussion may have bigger ones than some of us...

OP- if you are comfortable with a less than ideal situation and feel that your influence on a developing bassist is positive than that might be worth the price of admission.

If you are looking a for more self-edifying role where you can be the 'man' I'd certainly look elsewhere.
 
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#30
I actually think 2 basses could be really cool and could work in a band.
But I think you should leave this band. It sounds like you are being edged out - or you are at least feeling like you're being edged out.
And you WILL find another band to be in. It might take a little bit to find a good fit but you'll find something.
Go for it! Don't look back!
 
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#31
Mo cowbell said:
Opinions please....

I started in a band a couple years ago. Me on bass, a dude on guitar and his wife as singer. Another guitar and a drummer. Material includes Metallica, Soundgarden, Petty, Alice In Chains, Hendrix,,etc.... also originals....you get the idea. We played one gig during this time as rehearsal time is difficult and we replaced a drummer recently. Here's where it gets weird. A couple years ago when our pratctices were spread out by over a month each, the wife of the guitarist decided she should learn bass and start a girl band project. Well, that didn't go and so she started filling in when I couldn't make it. That's also how she writes her songs. Anyway, my conclusion is that while she likes to play bass, I am a bass player. I play the parts of the song she plays what she can. Much of the time I can't distinctly hear my part and its muddy.

Today I texted the main guitarist that perhaps we could decide on having me play the more difficult tunes and she could play on the easy ones. To me, the sound isn't crisp and tight it is muddy to have us both playing....even if improvise other parts that stay out of her way. Anyway, he said he didn't think that would work because she likes playing bass.

I think the band is cool and I have a bit of fun playing but think if they are ok with how she plays and are satisfied with her bass playing its time for me to bail.
Click to expand...

You can't get far enough away from this project.
 
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#34
2 bass players can work but they both have to be disciplined and know their parts (and probably each other's as well) so they fit together properly. Look up Talking Heads live concerts.

You sound as though you could do it but the singer doesn't. The rest of the band and especially her probably don't have a clue about how much work it will entail to get it sounding good.

If you intend staying with the band I would send them some Youtube links of bands with 2 basses, telling them that is what you should be aiming for. If they are still keen then take a song and work out 2 bass lines that will fit together, chart it (or tab if you must) and present her with it and tell her that when she has it down you will try it out. That should keep her busy for a while.

You will either be ignored or laughed at (in which case you know the course of action to take) or they will reluctantly take it onboard in which case there will probably be a considerable delay before she has the parts down. If this day ever comes be ready with more charts to hit her with.

You never know you my be the next Talking Heads.

Personally I would walk (correction run). Friends or not there is no way I would consider playing in a band with 2 bass players (but I'm a grumpy old fart who is set in his ways and YMMV).
 
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#37
She sleeps with one of the guitar players. She provides him with something you can't. That guitar player will never, ever take your side on this. Ever. So at least two members of the band are dead set on her playing bass whenever she wants to.

There are only two options here. Only two.

1) You leave.

2) You push the point. They singer/guitar player couple feels one way and the rest of the band agrees with you. Band splits down the middle and everybody starts over.

Best of luck either way.
 
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#38
Tell the group and Ask her to stop "playing" bass. See how that goes over. Decision made. Good luck.

They didn't ask you if it was okay for another bass player to cover your parts so why be passive about what you want?
 
#39
There is a very good reason you can have 2 guitarists and its extremely rare to have 2 bassists. It is more common to have 2 drummers than 2 bassists. Theoretically, you could have a lead bass and a rhythem bass, but probably not for the music you are playing. If she want to play bass on a couple songs in a set, and you have a beer or hit the tambourine, i guess that would be fine. But 2 bassists for standard grunge, is not a good idea.
 
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