Active-only but there are no batteries. You need to crank it like an emergency radio.
Alcohol ignition interlock device wired just before the output.
Alcohol ignition interlock device wired just before the output.
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Useless bass features
- Thread starter Warpeg
- Start date
Product #3 exists. I remember seeing the headstock plates on the late 90s.
Edit: here it is:
Fathead
Edit: here it is:
Fathead
Last edited:
Truss rod adjustment at 12th fret.
Straplock hootenanny button.
Headless tuning bridge with vintage-style clover keys.
Aluminum strings.
Underwear drawer.
Straplock hootenanny button.
Headless tuning bridge with vintage-style clover keys.
Aluminum strings.
Underwear drawer.
Velcro-attached swappable pickguard, pickups, bridge.
Sponge-rubber, soft-feel tuning keys and knobs.
Bullet-proof pickguard.
Headstock-mounted vaper.
Sponge-rubber, soft-feel tuning keys and knobs.
Bullet-proof pickguard.
Headstock-mounted vaper.
Last edited:
Yeah, but a CD player is especially useless. it'll skip while you're playing lol
A gothic model with razor wire imbedded into the back of the neck to enhance the torturous playing experience.
A retractable neck that could change scales. (Starts out as a 34", slides down and the first fret becomes the nut, then the second fret at the next position and likewise). The scale would always be in tune but the string tension would change, the markers would be off, and (in a cost cutting maneuver by greedy corporate managers) the locking mechanism would be some cheesy plastic thing that broke and rendered the instrument useless.
All plastic hardware. "Cost effective! Lightweight! Resists corrosion! Available in a variety of colors!..." I can hear the sales pitch now. Ouch.
Premium abalone, silver, gold, pearl, jade, sapphire and ruby inlays that are those note cheat sheets for beginners.
The environmentally non friendly series with genuine rosewood fingerboards, real ivory nut and knobs culled from elephant tusks, genuine tortoise shell pickguards and a choice of body woods cut to order from endangered species. Includes a case covered in rhino skin (authentic black rhino skin) and a polishing cloth carefully crafted from polar bear hide.
The "I can't decide" series. A senseless mishmash of features designed to facilitate every musical style and fail miserably at all. Truly the Edsel of basses. Overpriced, uncomfortable to play, a wide variety of useless, annoying tones and totally devoid of pleasant ones, counterintuitive controls that force you to think about every flip of a switch or turn of a knob thus taking your mind off of your playing (the musical equivalent of distracted driving), available in seven ugly colors with clashing pickguards on each, super heavy with 80 percent of the weight concentrated on the oversized peghead, unshielded poor quality electronics (cheap Chinese dime pots standard) including single use toggle switches (flip it once and it freezes in place), undersized strap buttons recessed into the bottom of the body just waiting to come undone, sharp edges on all surfaces, nonadjustable pickups with uneven string volume, and a poorly fitted case that will result in a ruined instrument (if possible). I think I had the prototype as my first bass.
A retractable neck that could change scales. (Starts out as a 34", slides down and the first fret becomes the nut, then the second fret at the next position and likewise). The scale would always be in tune but the string tension would change, the markers would be off, and (in a cost cutting maneuver by greedy corporate managers) the locking mechanism would be some cheesy plastic thing that broke and rendered the instrument useless.
All plastic hardware. "Cost effective! Lightweight! Resists corrosion! Available in a variety of colors!..." I can hear the sales pitch now. Ouch.
Premium abalone, silver, gold, pearl, jade, sapphire and ruby inlays that are those note cheat sheets for beginners.
The environmentally non friendly series with genuine rosewood fingerboards, real ivory nut and knobs culled from elephant tusks, genuine tortoise shell pickguards and a choice of body woods cut to order from endangered species. Includes a case covered in rhino skin (authentic black rhino skin) and a polishing cloth carefully crafted from polar bear hide.
The "I can't decide" series. A senseless mishmash of features designed to facilitate every musical style and fail miserably at all. Truly the Edsel of basses. Overpriced, uncomfortable to play, a wide variety of useless, annoying tones and totally devoid of pleasant ones, counterintuitive controls that force you to think about every flip of a switch or turn of a knob thus taking your mind off of your playing (the musical equivalent of distracted driving), available in seven ugly colors with clashing pickguards on each, super heavy with 80 percent of the weight concentrated on the oversized peghead, unshielded poor quality electronics (cheap Chinese dime pots standard) including single use toggle switches (flip it once and it freezes in place), undersized strap buttons recessed into the bottom of the body just waiting to come undone, sharp edges on all surfaces, nonadjustable pickups with uneven string volume, and a poorly fitted case that will result in a ruined instrument (if possible). I think I had the prototype as my first bass.
Switchable electromagnetic pickups (i.e., they don't use permanent magnets).
honestly, a bass you have to plug into the wall to power the pickups would be pretty bad ass
JeezyMcNuggles
Inactive
- Feb 23, 2018
- 14,723
- 20,970
- Disclosures
- I suck, but nobody really notices
Strings. Everybody knows your tone comes from your fingers.
tbh locking tuners could be nice. I have a bass stable enough that I only have to check the tuning maybe once a month, and it'd be less often than that if I didn't occasionally knock the headstock against the shelf next to my chair.
