Useless bass features

[coy garcia]

Tone knob... I mean really, who wants to turn a tone knob live. give me a damn switch.

 

[Krizz]

Automatic robo tuners

 

[dkelley]

Adjustable nut.

Just imho, I love the adjustable nut from warwick. Anyone can setup the nut properly now (hint: exactly the same as the next fret, or ideally just very very slightly higher than that to ensure there is no buzzing... depending on the player) - no more taking your bass to a "luthier" who doesn't know how low the slots are supposed to be, let alone how wide and what angle (Depending on the headstock) they should be at...... only to have it come back to you worse than it was before.

 

[Iristone]

A light post, a hanging rope. They say, once there's 300% profit...

Playing related:
A volume knob for a coil each in a humbucker pickup;
Stereo output on a single-pickup bass;
A passive Fender tone stack (without preamp) in a passive bass;
A snare wire or drum head in the back of the bass.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Lap steel bass

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Output jack on the headstock

 

[bdplaid]

That's what I thought. Someone else also offered a fretboard swap option also. May have been Kramer too.

Don't forget the retractable frets.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Velcro back. Must wear opposing "loop" shirt (not included). And no strap buttons.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Built-in VHS tape rewinder

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Scratch & sniff fret markers

 

[fdeck]

A bass that requires you to find a store with two 9-volt batteries at midnight on a weekend, instead of one.

 

[Ggaa]

Automatic peg winder and string cutter.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Fedora hanging hook

 

[bdplaid]

Make the bass look like it's been badly mistreated for 30 years and charge several hundred dollars for the pleasure.

 

[2F/2F]

Third strap button.

 

[Lesfunk]

So here's a totally bass-useless pedal that should be built in to every bass. But before putting the video link, can I just highlight one particular still and say to all Warwick Corvette owners *don't* hold your bass like this in public.

Watches video.
Immediately searches on internet for sale links.
Finds out they want $500 for one of those things.
Decides to remain happy with Mutron

 

[cnltb]

a second pick up.( or third, fourth etc...)

 

[Leigh Semmens]

All controls are those button controls that require a jeweller's screwdriver to adjust, sorta like trimpots. String adjustment posts like on a piano.

 

[sawzalot]

Oxygen free directionally braided copper wiring in the electronics.

 

[jamro217]

So here's a totally bass-useless pedal that should be built in to every bass. But before putting the video link, can I just highlight one particular still and say to all Warwick Corvette owners *don't* hold your bass like this in public.

This answers the perennially unasked question of what the cheapest '80's Casio keyboard sounds like through a Pignose. Thanks for that.