Useless bass features

[Holdsg]

Built in flashlight for those dark stages.

 

[Matt O]

More than one pickup

 

[Deleted member 165050]

A fretless with a B-bender.

 

[Fat Nermil]

Volume and tone controls that perform double duty as strap buttons. The only strap buttons. And they’re in the standard strap button positions.

 

[StereoPlayer]

Remote start.

 

[Deleted member 165050]

So here's a totally bass-useless pedal that should be built in to every bass. But before putting the video link, can I just highlight one particular still and say to all Warwick Corvette owners *don't* hold your bass like this in public.

 

[honeydorick]

Wow! ficelles What a waist of time, phraise 1 sounds like Yoda in pain.LOL

 

[honeydorick]

Add way more tone controls to make it really sound like a bass.More is better right? My bass mod only has a volume control immagine that.

 

[Smooth_bass88]

I'd make a 'smartbass' with built in wifi and touch screen so I could post silly things on talkbass right in the middle of my bass solo.

 

[5StringBlues]

I'd make a 'smartbass' with built in wifi and touch screen so I could post silly things on talkbass right in the middle of my bass solo.

How do we know you aren't doing that right now?

 

[WestyBassBob]

Time for some fun. You are the head of R&D and marketing for a large bass company. However, you’ve entered into a secret agreement with a competitor to tank your employer by putting useless features on the basses. What features do you come up with?

My ideas:
1. Scalloped fretless finger boards
2. Chrome pickup covers (ie. “Ashtrays”) that cover the entirety of the playing area
3. A proprietary steel plate system that adds weight to head stocks

How about the push-push volume boost on my SBMM short scale stingray? Why not just make the volume knob go louder?

 

[WestyBassBob]

Volume and tone controls that perform double duty as strap buttons. The only strap buttons. And they’re in the standard strap button positions.

I like it. I always play with the volume and tone full anyway!

 

[SLPimp]

A second pickup
A 5th string
A high mass bridge
Anything involving batteries
3+ knobs

 

[59jazz]

Fretless fingerboard from the 7th fret up. Somebody did this at one time but I forget who it was.

Kramer offered that during the early/mid 80's?

 

[roller]

Truss rods that aren't adjusted via a wheel.

Mute switch/killswitch.

Locking 1/4" output jack.

XLR output.

Adjustable nut.

LED face dots.

Absurdly expensive and showy top wood that does very little for the overall tone.

Incorporating a confusing name for an instrument or line of instruments, particularly a name that's already being used by the same company (the Sterling syndrome).

Multiple editions of an artist's version of a bass that are all available at the same time (the John Petrucci syndrome).

And anything that has a tablet built into it...

What features do you come up with?

 

[thewildest]

An HDMI port.

And to top that, if you ever connect it to your tv, you see videos of Julio Iglesias non stop, bursting out of the wood.

 

[Dave TB Killer]

Kramer offered that during the early/mid 80's?

That's what I thought. Someone else also offered a fretboard swap option also. May have been Kramer too.

 

[Aidenn7]

Guitar players.. on bass

 

[sabre79]

What features do you come up with?

Body dive and Ultralite tuners. Bandsaw blade strap. JP configuration instead of PJ. Series/Parallel/Single Coil/OMG/***.

 

[dkelley]

6 strings tuned EADGBE, with 25.5 inch scale, wearing strings 9-42 or maybe 10-52, with a whammy bar, 3 single coil pickups, a 5 way switch... 2 tone knobs... an angled jac.....


oh wait


I was just ranting about guitarists.

sorry, as you were