Well, that was fast (flaky bassist content)

[Scottgun]

We sort of ignore him, and talk some more, and the guitarist starts saying how he will need me to commit to spending $500 on gear for an IEM setup. Because he has all the stems from the recordings and wants us to play with a click and backing tracks. Whaaa??

That's my cue to leave.

Anyway, has anyone experimented with a probationary period where a new guy can leave no-questions-asked after so many rehearsals/gigs?

 

[Wesley R]

Lesson learned: never commit until you see the drummer at his drunkest.

I didn't know there were two kinds of drummers.

 

[Sam Dingle]

you said you were committed to a different band. no problem with what I see

 

[electracoyote]

Wow, the horror, the horror.

I fully understand why OP ditched this project, and if those musicians are being honest with themselves, they will understand too and not label OP unfairly.

One thing I would have done would be a heart-to-heart with just the lead singer, starting with the words, "I know you will understand and agree with me, because I could see it written all over your face..." and then proceed to outline the list of deal-breakers. I believe some of these dysfunctional bands are on the verge of being willing to turn the corner and keep some of these behaviors in check, and sometimes it only takes one new member who has his act together and makes honest objective observations, the kind of player you don't want to see walk after two rehearsals, to tip the scales toward being more responsible. I've seen it happen, and I've been that catalyst.

Obviously, this group has potential based on Rehearsal 1. Since you're walking anyway and have nothing to lose, an ultimatum wouldn't be out of the question.

 

[gln1955]

You did the right thing. I would have told them exactly why I was bailing. They need to hear it.

 

[lfmn16]

Thanks man. I feel bad because I shouldn't have committed then bailed. But yeah, we had talked a bunch beforehand, and they never mentioned any of this.

You didn't commit then bail. You committed to an acoustic group, they bailed on you. I wouldn't feel bad at all, I'd just say, "I committed to a low-volume, simple acoustic group, I did not commit to a high volume rock band."

I never feel bad for sticking to my original agreement. I played in a trio with lead vocalist and before I joined I said I would only play well know, popular classic rock, no album cuts. Every time they brought up these obscure, usually awful, tunes, I'd just say, "That's not what I agreed to, if you want to do that kind of music, no hard feelings, but you'll need to find a new bass player."

This is one of the reasons I keep harping on all of the things that should be explicitly discussed BEFORE you join a band, although in this particular case I'm not sure I would have said, "So you're not going to change from an acoustic group to a loud rock band, are you?"

 

[TheReceder]

Has anyone else ever noticed that when all else fails the bass player is always right?

 

[TinIndian]

If that was their intention from the start, they should have told you as much beforehand, especially your singer friend. They got you to join under false pretenses. I see no problem with you walking away from it.

 

[singlemalt]

Funny thing is they keep getting gigs with the quiet trio thing. They won't keep those gigs with the high volume model.

It's not flaky to quit when things go south.

 

[ThinCrappyTone]

Indeed... and this story may not have even captured the drummer at his drunkest. Run away!!

Good point! This may have been "good behavior" mode still

 

[3bc]

No faulting you on that one. You were hoodwinked and made to believe they wanted one thing when that wasn't really what they wanted at all.

While i hate bad drummers, i love loud drummers. I just did a gig with a guy who would play the drums like they were all Ming dynasty vases or something, and it was just brutal. Very low energy. Give me a loud, energetic drummer any day.

 

[FunkyD]

Stay in touch with the singer, as someone said before maybe she didn't know how much she would need you until you 'joined'.

 

[dlb1001]

I would have bailed, as soon as I saw the drummer dragging in the 24" bass drum and being drunk as skunk.

 

[ThinCrappyTone]

Funny thing is they keep getting gigs with the quiet trio thing. They won't keep those gigs with the high volume model.

Yeah, I agree. These guys had such a winning format. And so practical. Whole band's worth of gear could fit in overhead compartments. But they were I guess never into that mode at all, only doing it temporarily. They were dying to go bigger, louder and more technically complex. Even talking about getting another guitarist and keyboard player. That's all fine, but not for me.

 

[lfmn16]

Funny thing is they keep getting gigs with the quiet trio thing. They won't keep those gigs with the high volume model.

It's not flaky to quit when things go south.

What is the thought process?? "Hey, we're getting all these gigs as a quiet acoustic trio. Let's play rock music really, really loud!"

I had a friend that started an originals band with Upright bass, acoustic guitar and bongos. They put out a CD, got a good following, were working three or four times a week (about 30 years ago). Next comes the electric guitar, then the electric bass, then a drum kit, then a bunch of rock tunes. Basically he destroyed everything they spend a couple of years building up.

 

[gln1955]

Yeah, I agree. These guys had such a winning format. And so practical. Whole band's worth of gear could fit in overhead compartments. But they were I guess never into that mode at all, only doing it temporarily. They were dying to go bigger, louder and more technically complex. Even talking about getting another guitarist and keyboard player. That's all fine, but not for me.

Well then they should have done that as a separate project and kept the simple money-maker going.

 

[Robscott]

tl;dr: Committed to band, quit after 2nd rehearsal.

I don't join bands anymore. Just don't have the patience for the drawma, volume wars and other insanities. These days it's just more satisfying to solo recordings, one-off projects with friends, or maybe little temporary projects that gig a few times.

But about a year ago, a singer who lives in my town, who I know through some recording collaborations, called and said she had an originals band that needed a bassist. I checked them out and they sounded really good. But I declined because of the reasons above.

Over the last year, she would occasionally send videos of them gigging, saying "hey the door is still open". In the videos of their gigs, they sounded great, looked pro.

I was intrigued by their format: They were playing as a stripped-down little three piece: vocals, acoustic guitar, and a drummer who just played a floor tom with mallets. Tiny footprint. Great blend. Very mature. Since one of my biggest pet peeves of being in a band is being forced to move and set up a truckload of gear, every gig, just to facilitate ear splitting volume in tiny rooms for 45 minute sets, I loved the maturity and efficiency of their setup. The idea of a stripped-down little stage plot like they were using was really appealing. And more importantly, it was working really well.

After a while, and a few more offers to play, I got to thinking that not too many people are busting down my door to join their bands, so this might be a great opportunity. Three quality musicians, close by, with great songs, rehearsal space, discipline and maturity? Yeah, sounds good. I said I'd learn some songs and stop by.

REHEARSAL 1

Learned five songs, went to rehearsal. Everyone was so nice! And on time! What?? Crazy.

We ran the songs. Sounded great, right off the bat! Woo! I liked playing the tunes. They liked me playing them. But man did I love the blend! guitarist was at a reasonable volume. Drummer with his mallets was glorious. I was playing a single 12" combo. We could all hear each other really well. Sounded like a recording, almost. I thought "this is what a mature band sounds like!". I was glorying in the fact that we would be able to play anywhere. With a footprint like this, moving, sound-checking and setting up would be easy.

After, they said… "So.. what do you think?"

"Don't commit just yet.", I thought

"I'm in!", I said

And all was merry.


REHEARSAL 2

Drummer shows up with a full kit. Not just a full kit, but the biggest, loudest, John-Bonhamish full kit I have seen in decades. I query him about it, and realize he is drunk. Very drunk. He slurs something about "now that we have a bass player, I can play a real kit." No more mallets + floor tom. We're talking 24" kick, rack toms, 16" and 18" floor toms, and about half a dozen cymbals.

Guitarist now has changed his setup as well. His volume is much louder, due to the drummer, and he has for some reason switched to a hollowbody, which is now having feedback issues.

We jam. It's a super loud mush. The singer looks distressed, and I can no longer hear her. The 1x12 combo I am using which was fine the week before is now inaudible. I find myself squatting near it so I can hear myself. I sigh, realizing that I will have to start shlepping a stack of some sort.

Drummer who was awesome last week has now, through the magic of many craft beers, turned into the loudest and worst drummer in the world. I turn around in the middle of some horribly messy fill that he comes out of badly, and he is literally trying to drink a beer while playing, and its running down his shirt.

The singer looks at me across the room with a look of horror on her face.

After stumbling through the set, we sit down and try to talk about stuff, but the drummer keeps completely misunderstanding what we are trying to say, because he's out of his mind.

We sort of ignore him, and talk some more, and the guitarist starts saying how he will need me to commit to spending $500 on gear for an IEM setup. Because he has all the stems from the recordings and wants us to play with a click and backing tracks. Whaaa??

At this point, I'm like "hey, well, you know… what I loved about you guys was the small footprint acoustic thing you were doing. What you're proposing is way more complicated."

Then they told me that the acoustic thing was always just temporary until they got a bassist, and what they really want to do is have this full rock band thing with backing tracks.

Like Gob from Arrested Development, I realized I made a terrible mistake

I committed. But this was a freaking mess, and exactly what I didn't want to be involved in.

Do I stick with it? Be an honorable person and commit because I have a strong character that would not allow me to go back on my word?

Nah. Thought about it for a few days, then called, thanked them for the opportunity and said that I decided I'm not going to continue with the project. They asked why, I was annoyingly vague, and just said "It's not what I'm looking for."

They understood, but were not happy. And now I am sure that I will forever be known as "that flaky bass player". Alas.

Lesson learned: never commit until you see the drummer at his drunkest.

Their lesson learned: Never believe a bass player when he says he's in. Or at least never believe me when I say that.

You definitely did right. I recently quit a band after 2 rehearsals for less reason than that. IMO it takes more than a couple of rehearsals to know whether you can commit to a band who, let's face it, you are going to share angst and dramas with as well as good times. Your guys sound like a basket case. Don't beat yourself up for letting them down, cos they didn't show you much consideration when they painted you a false picture. Just count yourself lucky to be out of there with minimum damage. Woulda been worse for everyone if you pulled out after 6 months or something. However, having said all that, it's a shame you can't find yourself a viable band, there are some mature players around still, and maybe you will find 4 guys with more talent than ego if you keep looking!

 

[WardEarth]

Those craft beers can really pack a punch

 

[Sixgunn]

Drunks are a total deal breaker for me. Period.

 

[kentiki]

Are you familiar with the concept of "bait and switch"?