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Nah, herpes keeps couple together. Trick is timing your outbreaks so you both either have or don't have a blister at same time.
There can be a lot of reasons why people get divorced. For some, marriage was probably not a good idea to begin with. At least not to each other. Maybe they lacked maturity, maybe they were unreasonable or unwilling to compromise, maybe they're just too self-centered. Maybe they really didn't want the commitment and felt the social pressure to "tie the knot". Maybe they felt their life-clock ticking and got married out of fear. Whatever the case, it may have been a mistake from the start. But, in looking at two people who get married that wanted to, tried hard, and found over time their relationship deteriorated.....I think there are some common causes. I think the biggest one is resentment. It starts somewhere, usually kinda small, but builds. One person, or both, look at their lives over time and feel that somehow they are giving more and getting less. It can start with simple things, like one spouse doesn't ever empty the dishwasher. So the other one does it. At first, it's okay, but over time....they start to wonder why it's always them who has to do something. Always the dishwasher. And why am I always the one folding clothes? Why don't you ever cut the grass? Why don't you want sex when I want it? And the list goes on and on. Sooner or later, one person, or both, start to feel that they are somehow being taken advantage of and maybe ignored. Maybe one works 60 hours a week and the other one works 30. But somewhere, the feelings that things aren't fair, somehow, takes root. And then there is an emotional withdrawal. Who wants to be taken advantage of? Nobody. But when you bring things up, it's never a discussion.....it's an argument. And nobody likes to argue. Now you add in the fear that maybe you're not meant for each other.....maybe this isn't going to work.....but, hey.....you don't want to be one of "those people" that everyone says "I knew they'd never make it, so typical", so you just close your mouth and continue to be angry and hurt. And the emotional withdrawal continues. You become distant, resentful, angry, and usually lonely. What you don't realize is that the other one is probably going through the same thing.
When you get to this point, you tend to look somewhere for comfort. Drugs, booze, affairs, whatever makes you somehow feel better about your life and yourself. Something to look forward to other than your humdrum existence that seems like all you do is give of yourself and get very little back. And then somebody in the relationship, maybe both of you, decide that there's been too much damage, too much hurt, too much that went wrong and it cannot be saved.
I'm always surprised how many people cite a result as a cause for divorce. Spouse had an affair? That's not the cause of your divorce. It's the result of a bunch of factors leading up to the affair. It's not like everything was completely awesome and there were no problems and....BOOM! Hubby's out rockin' the girl from the next office over. Wife's a booze bag? Was she one when you married her? No? What happened? How did she get driven to this in her life? Did you somehow contribute to it?
In almost every case, at least for people who do love each other and had every intention of making things work, the basic problem is communication. Or, lack of. We get upset and say nothing. Maybe it's to keep the peace. Maybe it's just a fear that we'll drive the other one away. Maybe we just lack the confidence in ourselves to say what it is that's bothering us. But it's the lack of communication and the gradual feelings of resentment and loneliness that lead to the actions that MOST people blame for their divorce.
Then again, if you just married a rotten, miserable psycho then it could be just that.
When you get to this point, you tend to look somewhere for comfort. Drugs, booze, affairs, whatever makes you somehow feel better about your life and yourself. Something to look forward to other than your humdrum existence that seems like all you do is give of yourself and get very little back. And then somebody in the relationship, maybe both of you, decide that there's been too much damage, too much hurt, too much that went wrong and it cannot be saved.
I'm always surprised how many people cite a result as a cause for divorce. Spouse had an affair? That's not the cause of your divorce. It's the result of a bunch of factors leading up to the affair. It's not like everything was completely awesome and there were no problems and....BOOM! Hubby's out rockin' the girl from the next office over. Wife's a booze bag? Was she one when you married her? No? What happened? How did she get driven to this in her life? Did you somehow contribute to it?
In almost every case, at least for people who do love each other and had every intention of making things work, the basic problem is communication. Or, lack of. We get upset and say nothing. Maybe it's to keep the peace. Maybe it's just a fear that we'll drive the other one away. Maybe we just lack the confidence in ourselves to say what it is that's bothering us. But it's the lack of communication and the gradual feelings of resentment and loneliness that lead to the actions that MOST people blame for their divorce.
Then again, if you just married a rotten, miserable psycho then it could be just that.
