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What would you do?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by gregmon79, Jun 10, 2014.

  1. gregmon79

    gregmon79 I did it for the muff... Supporting Member

    Dec 20, 2012
    Chicago IL
    I have the possible opportunity to move up the ladder at my job in the next couple months. I would be making a rather drastically larger amount annually (anywhere from 6 to 8 grand more). But it would be an 11am to 10 or 11pm shift, Mon thru Fri and some Sat mornings. If I were to take this job, I would never see my girl or her boys. And my band, yeah, we spoke about it last night, and realistically, there would be no way for me to make practices. I would barely ever get a chance to practice and I could throw weekday shows out the window. So in other words, if I take this job, I would most likely have to quit my band and I would almost never see my family. What would y'all do?

    Mind you, I'm not asking for any of you to tell me what to do. I feel my mind is made up but I thought I would throw it out there to get others opinions on it. Its kind of a big deal. If I turn it down what do my bosses think of me at work then? One thing I do know, is the my music and band, my girl and her boys, are the two things Im most passionate about in my life. And I would be losing the band and almost all the time with my girl and her boys. The trade off for more money does NOT seem worth it to me. But theres still this voice in me telling me to make sure I know what Im doing.....
  2. SunnBass

    SunnBass All these blankets saved my life.

    Aug 31, 2010
    Columbia, Mo
    You know how I feel about the band part, we discussed that in another thread.
    But, the family part is unacceptable.
    12 hour shifts? Ridiculous.
  3. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    You can make more money in the future, you can never make up time lost with your family. Unless you are passionate about your job, thank your employer for the opportunity, but let them know that family is your highest priority right now. I wouldn't even mention the band to your employer.
    Joedog, ImNotJoel, Zephrant and 4 others like this.
  4. Lo-E


    Dec 19, 2009
    Brooklyn, NY
    The 12-hour shift is, sadly, becoming much more commonplace in the modern world. There's a big difference, however, between a 7:00 - 7:00 12-hour shift and a 10:00 - 10:00 12-hour shift. As SunnBass said, the band thing is a drag, but never seeing your family is a one-way ticket to unhappiness. It sounds like that 8 Grand would be blood money. Personally, I wouldn't go for it.
  5. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    It ain't worth the money. Speaking from experience.
    Kustom_Thunder likes this.
  6. McFarlin

    McFarlin Supporting Member

    Oct 27, 2011
    Austin, TX
    Are you making more money or just working more?
    hrodbert696 likes this.
  7. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    All I can say is priorities. You must choose what is more important. I don't know your financial situation or other job prospects. You CAN make it work if you have to with your kids.

    If you decline, thank your boss for the opportunity, and yeah, DO NOT mention the band issue. Family is a fair reason, band is not.
    SunnBass likes this.
  8. A good friend of mine recently confessed to me over a few cold beers (and I'm paraphrasing here...) "I regret spending so much time and effort on my career. My family paid a steep price for it. My son is a mess. Perhaps he'd be different today if I had spent more time with him and less time at my job."

    You can never get those years back.
    SunnBass and Grizz33 like this.
  9. you must think this through carefully. One key issue is: stability. Sure you may climb the corporate ladder and earn more bread, but companies these days will still have little if any loyalty to you if economics turn sour. They downsize at the drop of a hat, no matter how good you are or how hard you work. Evaluate your long term security there. Also, I believe a true good relationship can and must endure stress and hardships that sometime occur. Will the extra money actually change anything for you? Long term that is? Allow you to acquire property or investments or will it just be cycled in and out of your personal finances by spending which is ultimately frivolous?
  10. Grizz33


    Nov 25, 2012
    Rockford, IL
    This is a no-brainer, man. You NEVER get back your time with family. Since 1996 I've works the worst shifts imaginable, including 24 hours shifts. To this day I still work every holiday, unless I luck out and it falls on my scheduled day off. I've missed out on my kid's birthdays, milestones and memories. I'll never get that opportunity back. From someone who's been there...the money isn't worth it. Good luck, man.
  11. interp

    interp Supporting Member

    Apr 14, 2005
    Garmisch, Germany
    When you're on your death bed (many years from now) you will NOT be thinking: "Gee, I wish I had made more money and spent less time with my family and making music."
    ImNotJoel, SunnBass and Grizz33 like this.
  12. Family first, always. I have just accepted a "downgrade" at work because I refused being shipped overseas for 4 months, something that was a very remote possibility of my current job when we signed the new contract, but did finally happen. I chose the crappy job with family over good salary with no family. I would always make the same decision. I have an 19 months old kid... You never get that back.
    ImNotJoel, SunnBass and Grizz33 like this.
  13. el murdoque

    el murdoque

    Mar 10, 2013
    To make up my choice, i'd consider the current situation and the job itself.
    Will the new job leave just as happy or unhappy as the old one did and the only difference is the money and the work hours?
    Will the new job be a stepping stone into a bright future with improved conditions and a goal to work towards?
    Are you able to provide for your family with the old job?
  14. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    Some say I have it all backwards! I prioritize it like this: Family First, Music Second. Job last. Even though I work about 80 hrs/week, right now it's the best I can do.
    SunnBass likes this.
  15. RoadRanger

    RoadRanger Supporting Member

    Feb 18, 2004
    NE CT
    Jeez, they might think that you're not a spineless, soul-less loser who lives to work - can't have that LOL.
  16. gregmon79

    gregmon79 I did it for the muff... Supporting Member

    Dec 20, 2012
    Chicago IL
    I hear all of you and have thought about every aspect of this. I just need the encouragement I suppose. The extra money is not something that is going to be worth the lost time with family and a band. My family and music are really important to me. My job is important too, but me not taking the job just means I stay where I'm at. I'm fine with that. Thanks for all the input guys. Means a lot.

    Killing gods
  17. FerK

    FerK Supporting Member

    Dec 11, 2011
    My personal take: not in this life. I wouldn't trade "the things I love most in this world" for 500 bucks more/month. I don't know what your "baseline" is, but it certainly seems like quite a bit to you. I still wouldn't take it. Just what I would do, though.
    SunnBass likes this.
  18. vmabus


    Nov 1, 2013
    This may not be your only opportunity for advancement. Keep your eyes open to the possibilities...
  19. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    My wife gave up a very good job when we had our son, because the commute was too long. There is no right decision, there is no wrong decision. You do what you feel is right, and deal with it.
  20. gregmon79

    gregmon79 I did it for the muff... Supporting Member

    Dec 20, 2012
    Chicago IL
    Yeah that's crossed my mind as well. It's not the end of the line if I don't take it. Who knows, it could even leave the door open for other possibilities I wouldn't be able to take advantage of because of the schedule I would be working if I took the job.

    Killing gods
    Grizz33 and vmabus like this.

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