Dismiss Notice

Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

When spouses attack

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Tim Cole, Apr 8, 2005.


  1. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Or rather, when they decide to get rid of some **** that doesn't belong to them. No point to this thread really, I am just pissed and need to rant.

    I've had a nice 30 gallon fish tank for over 3 years now (over 2 years before I got married), with several fish, including two pretty nice catfish I have had for the whole time I had the tank. I had over $200 in this, but it's the whole point of it more than the money issue. I've been really busy with work, sleep, and some studying, and just noticed......where the hell is my aquarium?

    I woke her up to ask her where it was, to just get a response of "I got rid of it". I instantly flew off the handle, asking where it went. Her response, "I gave it to a friend". She then felt the need to argue with me, saying she was "tired of taking care of it". Okay, fair enough but that's BS for a few reasons. She is the one that offered to feed them in the mornings since my hours are all screwed up, and she never even mentioned a word about it before getting rid of it. She never even mentioned it afterwards, until I asked where my *** damn fish were.

    This pisses me off to no end, and had this been either or both of the dogs, it would without a doubt be grounds for divorce. Hope she doesn't mind coming up with a couple hundred extra bucks this month to cover the bills since I will be shorting my part. Either that, or maybe have an ebay sale on some of her crap.

    Oh yeah, since we got married, she also thew in the "half hers" deal too, which just salted the wound and made me even madder.

    PS, to those single, don't EVER get married.
     
  2. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Dude, didn't I go off on your ass for getting married? Did I not warn you?

    You had it great, bro. A band, groupie chicks, a tolerable job...

    Then you married the Sukubus, and it all went down the drain.
     
  3. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Wow...that is rough. I know how you feel. Shortly after I got married, my wife threw out my cleats, football gloves, and jersey I had been wearing for years when I played with my buddies. She said they looked like they belonged in the garbage. I flew off the handle as you did as I had some sentimental value after playing in them for years.

    For me, it was an excuse to drag HER to the mall and watch me buy some new cleats, a new jersey, some new gloves and a nice bag to put everything in so it wouldn't get mistaken for garbage again.

    -Mike
     
  4. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    And the Mike's have it.

    Life is pretty much in the ****ter right now on all fronts. I was fully prepared to quit the band for a job I was led to believe was a shoe in, to find out I am underqualified, after I was already told it was cool. So now I am studying all to hell for a certification I'll probably fail anyway, I wont even mention the thoughts on the wife at the moment.

    Let's see.....

    Burnt out on the band and have virtually given up.....

    HATE my ridiculous job which probably pays less than Mike Money made as a sandwich artist....

    Can't even seem to find another equally sucky job at another location.....

    Shouldn't mention the thoughts on my "life mate" at the moment, but I think you may have a good idea.....

    Oh well. It is 2 am here now, and I have a ton of crap to pack up and ship out on ebay. I think I will do that in the living room now as noisily as possible.
     
  5. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Hey, go to her friends house and talk fish!


    ;)
     
  6. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    What certification Tim?

    -Mike
     
  7. Marlat

    Marlat

    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Tim - have a beer, sleep on the couch, things generally look better in the morning. Many a rash decision is made in a state of anger that would have been better slept off.

    Besides you can always form "Tim Cole's Ohio Sound Machine" - i'll let you use the name!
     
  8. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Perhaps she should have slept off the idea of getting rid of MY stuff before doing so. Sure hope she still feels marriage = 50% entitlement in divorce court concerning her 401k.
     
  9. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    My name is Mike Money, and I support Tim Cole in being a single man.
     
  10. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Okay, I made that sound a lot more important than it really is. Looking to get a CDL so I can work 60-70 hours a week to save some money. Just think how much of my crap will be gone if I am away for that long. :\

    This had better be a learning experience is all I can say. Not to seem insensive to female TBer's, but I noticed the cotton pony wrappers in the trash earilier. Conicidence? I think not. I wish I had an excuse to be temporarliy selfish whenever I needed it.

    Oh yeah, while I was angry and had plenty to say myself in this ordeal, "f****** a**hole" was the last thing said to me before she went to bed. Oh well, back to the living room making a mess and all kinds of noise packing stuff.
     
  11. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Oh yeah, I don't drink often, but I should mention what little beer I did have in the fridge was thrown away a couple weeks ago by you know who. One can which expired (before born on dates) in 1999. I was saving it for a special ocassion, for someone wanting to mooch a beer.

    Wasn't worth mentioning.
     
  12. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Best wishes with the CDL my friend. You're a good guy, so I am sure things will start looking up for you when the sun comes up.

    -Mike
     
  13. RAM

    RAM

    May 10, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    That's a pure lack of respect shown by your wife. The fish tank belonged to you prior to getting married, and she failed to recognize your love of it. I'd make it a point to communicate with her ASAP, in a clear and concise manner and do NOT point fingers. Instead, make sure she understands its value to you. If she can't understand that, tell her to grow up.

    Go get another tank and the fish you've always wanted. If she gets rid of that, get rid of her.
     
  14. I kinda know how yo ufeel, my mum once gave away two of my lovebirds. I've never forgiven her for it, ever, and I never will. She also threw out dozens of my dad's tapes in a cleaning frenzy one day.
     
  15. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    That sucks Nick, I know how that is!

    It's not the fact I was attached to the fish, afterall they are....fish. The thing that pisses me off is, she KNEW I'd fly off the handle if she did that, and she did it anyway, no discussion, no explanation, and hell....not a word was said until I noticed it gone. My Dad did stuff like that when I was yonger and it made me mad, but....he is my dad, in his house with his rules. Different ballgame. This was something I owned BEFORE I married her, in a house that is just as much mine as hers (even though she makes me feel like a semi-wanted guest in it most of the time), and the thing was bought 100% with MY money. I am all about sharing, but don't go getting rid of MY crap. Had she came to me and said she was tired of taking 30 seconds to feed them every morning, no sweat.....I'll feed them. If she said she was tired of looking at it....no problem, I will move it into my spare room which only I use.

    I've come to the conclusion the only reason she could have done this was to be a complete bitch. I hate to sond disrespectful to her like that, but I'm not feeling too well respected at the moment either. Besides that, the shoe fits pretty well.

    I had planned on heading to bed about 1am when this deal exploded, so I could get up this morning and go take my CDL permit test, and stop by the possible employer to see if that does me any good. Instead, I have been up ALL night doing housework, and packing ebay stuff.....was, and still am too mad to sleep. The good news is, it is time where things are starting to open, and I can go ship off my stuff, and go take my test after a little more cramming.
     
  16. Razor

    Razor

    Sep 22, 2002
    Dallas
    Aahhhhhhhh....the joys of marriage. Been there, done that. Don't miss it much.

    FWIW Tim, the tests for your CDL, or at least the ones I've seen, aren't too terribly difficult. You shouldn't have much of a problem with it. You looking at doing long-hauls or regular work and the company requires it??
     
  17. Hollow Man

    Hollow Man Supporting Member

    Apr 28, 2003
    Springfield, VA
    Wow, that's a rough go. But Aussie Mark is right... give it a little time before you return fire. I can't believe she did that, and I wouldn't be quick to write it off as 'just a byproduct of the married life', but I'd hate to see this go from bad to worse over catfish. For now, worry about your CDL and your job and your music. Either you guys will come around and work something out, or you'll realize that some major changes might need to happen. Either way, don't lose focus on the things you need regardless of what mood she's in.
     
  18. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    You know, some of the stupidest people, and worst drivers I know drive trucks, it can't be that hard.

    I don't really even want to drive a truck, but I want out of my current job BAD. I have visions of paying off some "younger foolish" debts, and the severe negative equity in my home so I can buy a new one.

    I have no interest in over the road work. There are a couple places nearby where I can work 10-14 hour days, one never leaves the 200 acre site, and the other stays in a 60 mile radius......with the long hours, good money can be made. The one that stays on site doesn't even require a CDL to legally drive the trucks, since they stay on private property. I put an app in last week, and talked to one of the main supervisors who pretty much told me I had a job, but had to run things by the other supervisor as well. Well, apparently the other supervisor said no, since I had little equipment experience, and no CDL....even though they are hurting for operators. He said they had hired people in the past with zero equipment experience, but they at least had a CDL. I figured instead of whining poor me, I'd just do what I need to do to qualify myself for the job, and be done with it.

    I plan to go test for my permit today, and stop by to show the supervisor there and ask if that helps any. I doubt it, but it is worth a shot. From there, I plan to keep studying the books, and hope to pass the written part of the exam in a week or so. Then I just have to con some relation into letting me ride along when I have the time to learn just enough to pass the driving portion.

    I wish I could afford to quit my current job and take an actual school to prepare for all of this, but that's not an option.....the bills keep coming.

    Like everything else in life, I end up doing things the hard way but eventually get them done......most of the time.
     
  19. Razor

    Razor

    Sep 22, 2002
    Dallas
    I've got some friends who do the long-haul thing...all the times I've talked with them, they've always told me companies are always looking for people with good driving records who have CDL's.

    The CDL jobs are out there, I'm sure you'll get your certification with little or no problem and then you'll be able to put it to work.

    Good luck on the test!
     
  20. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Well, as I said before, I pretty much already came unglued. She had to have known it was going to piss me off, so there's no point in calmly asking her to respect me. Honestly, I have nothing more to say to her about it, or anything else at the moment.

    I really need to get my work situation straightened out, and soon. I honestly don't even care about music at this point, it has been a pain in the arse for too long, and is not a top priority for me anymore. The thing that pisses me off, I was the ONLY one for two years in the band that did ANYTHING......booking, scheduling practices, the website, owning PA and lights myself. Since I pretty much said to hell with it, repo'ed my PA and lights to put on ebay, and stopped lighting fires under people for ambition, they are now pissed and giving ME trouble about "my attitude changing". They sat back and watched me do all the work for a couple years, so I semi-gave up. We have some killer stuff booked this summer, all of it on Fridays. The opportunity for me to get back into auto racing came up, so I jumped on it and told the guys I have one Saturday a month open until September, then back to normal. I said I wasn't going to book anything for the days I can't play, but if they wanted to, go ahead. I even offered to get a sub (cheezewiz), and get him up to speed on all of the retarded crap we do that no one has heard. They still bitch, and give me grief for finding something else to do while they do nothing themselves.

    Honestly, the band is just another pain in the ass I am tired of, and I haven't touched my bass in over 2 weeks.