Nah, I always describe myself as beautiful, perfect and indescribably cute.. he takes right after the "old man". 
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why did you have children?
- Thread starter Icey101
- Start date
Relic said:First kid? Wasn't really timed, it just happened. Oops.
In fact, I didn't want kids at first, I thought I was "too selfish" and loving it, I was too into doing my own thing, too comfortable with living my life on my own terms with no big responsibilities like that. Plus, I thought kids were kinda ugly...drooling, pooping, bothering the heck out of ya when you want to be left alone.. In fact, read through any thread like this and look at the posts of those who are against having kids, look at their reasons - that was me.
Then the "oops" happened.
Now for the Hallmark moment.. the first time I held my son, some sort of primal switch flipped in my brain. *click* I'm a dad and this is my beautiful, perfect, indescribably cute son who I would give up anything for and jump in front of a moving train to protect if I had to. It changes you to the core. Man, I thought I had it made BEFORE I had my kids? Pfff.. wasn't s--t compared to what I have now.
I've had two more sons since then.
Yep, EXACTLY
I didn't want the little boogers either, but damn if I couldn't imagine life w/o them now.
Lol, on the defense again I see. Weird.
This doesn't bother me.
I took up bass because I thought playing guitar was cool and I wasn't any good at wind instruments.
slobake
resident ... something
I respect your opinion and wouldn't try and change your mind. It is best when we are all honest and know where each other stand.
None of those. I have three Daughters 25, 21,and 7. I had children to love,support,educate,learn from,laugh with,cry with, and in the end make my life complete and give me a reason to be here..being a Father.
i am amused that some people who question the OP's opening statement have been called "Defensive"...you have to admit (or maybe not), that his opening selection of questions seemed to indicate a lack of POSITIVE reasons for having kids.
that said, i am lucky to be here. my mom was diagnosed with placenta previa back in the 50's and that usually meant a miscarriage. she spent three months in the hospital flat on her back to make sure i would come out ok.
my parents were married 13 years before they had me, always really wanted kids, and finally got me (more's the pity them....
) and she did everything she could to help me come into the world.
fast forward. my own wife was diagnosed with blocked tubes. they told us that we could not have children...but, lo and behold, she turns up pregnant after, you guessed it, 13 years of marriage. we rushed down and had her checked by the docs to make sure it wasn't a tubal pregnancy and somehow, against all odds, an egg had slipped thru her supposedly blocked tubes.
now fast forward to today, some 15 years later. my son is the joy of my life and my wife would say the same. my absolute best friend in the world.
a great bass player too, but that's neither here nor there. i can't imagine what life would be like without him....SO
based on all the foregoing, let me turn the OP's question around.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT CHILDREN?
that said, i am lucky to be here. my mom was diagnosed with placenta previa back in the 50's and that usually meant a miscarriage. she spent three months in the hospital flat on her back to make sure i would come out ok.
my parents were married 13 years before they had me, always really wanted kids, and finally got me (more's the pity them....
) and she did everything she could to help me come into the world.fast forward. my own wife was diagnosed with blocked tubes. they told us that we could not have children...but, lo and behold, she turns up pregnant after, you guessed it, 13 years of marriage. we rushed down and had her checked by the docs to make sure it wasn't a tubal pregnancy and somehow, against all odds, an egg had slipped thru her supposedly blocked tubes.
now fast forward to today, some 15 years later. my son is the joy of my life and my wife would say the same. my absolute best friend in the world.
a great bass player too, but that's neither here nor there. i can't imagine what life would be like without him....SO
based on all the foregoing, let me turn the OP's question around.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT CHILDREN?
My girlfriend has 4 kids. 2, 4, 7, 12. I spent quite a bit of time figuring out if it was going to be worth it. Basically, two months in, I'm super happy. Yeah, it's a lot of work, and yeah, there are Saturday mornings that I wish we cold just lay in bed in stead of making breakfast for the kids, etc., but I couldn't be happier. It's funny what being around kids that you care about does to your perspective of parenting.
If you do get into a relationship with a girl with kids, you'll find that, whether they like it or not, those kids need you to play a "father-like" role to them, but so far, it's been really rewarding.
The 4 year old was throwing a tantrum one night about cleaning his room while my GF was making dinner. I had tried to calmly get him to do what he needed to do, and I busted out my "dad voice" for the first time. GF came running, and thought I was legitimately mad. We met eyes when she came in the door and I covered my mouth and had to leave, because I was laughing so hard. It's been really good for everyone involved.
I think it's funny that you think anyone is being defensive. I certainly wasn't. I simply thought the OP was odd and made a joke to point that out.
slobake
resident ... something
i am amused that some people who question the OP's opening statement have been called "Defensive"...you have to admit (or maybe not), that his opening selection of questions seemed to indicate a lack of POSITIVE reasons for having kids.
that said, i am lucky to be here. my mom was diagnosed with placenta previa back in the 50's and that usually meant a miscarriage. she spent three months in the hospital flat on her back to make sure i would come out ok.
my parents were married 13 years before they had me, always really wanted kids, and finally got me (more's the pity them....
fast forward. my own wife was diagnosed with blocked tubes. they told us that we could not have children...but, lo and behold, she turns up pregnant after, you guessed it, 13 years of marriage. we rushed down and had her checked by the docs to make sure it wasn't a tubal pregnancy and somehow, against all odds, an egg had slipped thru her supposedly blocked tubes.
now fast forward to today, some 15 years later. my son is the joy of my life and my wife would say the same. my absolute best friend in the world.
a great bass player too, but that's neither here nor there. i can't imagine what life would be like without him....SO
based on all the foregoing, let me turn the OP's question around.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT CHILDREN?
That's awesome Dave I love it when I hear things like this. Internet high five to your parents, you and your wife and your son.
This is why we only have one. We're pretty flexible, and he doesn't really encroach upon my lifestyle, in fact, he enhances it. I still surf (he surfs too), I still play music (he plays too), and I still play golf (he plays too), and all the other things that I'm involved with. We also still travel quite a lot. As far as costs go, I don't really notice it. He's involved in a lot of things, but to me this has just altered my life a little bit. I don't really go to a lot of bars to drink anymore (and that's about what my son costs a month) , so it's not really that big a burden. As far as the world thing goes, I hear you. I feel kind of the same way. As a result, I have also taken upon this sense of worry. I worry about what kind world he will inherit. That part keeps me up at night sometimes.
I've been pretty adamant that I don't want children - or at least my own biological children - for sometime. It really comes down to two things.
First, I am honestly really not that into kids. A child screaming is worse than nails on a chalkboard to me, and I really just don't like spending time around young kids. If I could skip the first 10 years, I may be more open to the idea of having a kid. So therefore, I'm not totally opposed to the idea of adoption. Yes, I do know that older children come with their own issues, but I really don't like being around kids who aren't old enough to at least be in elementary school yet.
Second, I'm an overachiever, and like a lot of overachievers I know, I'm more focused on my career than raising a family. There are a lot of things I really want to do in life and having a child would seriously make some of those things difficult. I like my freedom in that regard. Being happy in my career is one of the most important things to me, and I would loathe to be put in the position to have to take a job I hate simply because I had a number of mouths at home to feed. Is that abdication of responsibility a little selfish? Perhaps a little, but I've spent a lot of time and money on my education, so I'm not going to apologize for it. Also, while I'm not a materalistic person, I do like having disposable income.
I'm glad I had kids young and didn't wait, I feel like I can relate much better than other parents that I know.
My oldest will be 20 and I'll still only be 40 still pretty young.
Even my youngest will turn 20 when I'm turning 50 again still pretty young in my opinion.
I have a buddy that has parents older than most peoples grandparents.
His older siblings are more like the age of what average parents are. At 21 his parents were in their late 80's hell be lucky if they're around long enough to see him get married or have kids of his own.
Even if they are their health is so delicate that his kids won't get the relationship that my kids will have with my parents who are still not even 60 yet.
If I had it to do over again I wouldn't change anything except who I had my first child with. But the age was great. Nerve racking but great.
My oldest will be 20 and I'll still only be 40 still pretty young.
Even my youngest will turn 20 when I'm turning 50 again still pretty young in my opinion.
I have a buddy that has parents older than most peoples grandparents.
His older siblings are more like the age of what average parents are. At 21 his parents were in their late 80's hell be lucky if they're around long enough to see him get married or have kids of his own.
Even if they are their health is so delicate that his kids won't get the relationship that my kids will have with my parents who are still not even 60 yet.
If I had it to do over again I wouldn't change anything except who I had my first child with. But the age was great. Nerve racking but great.
slobake
resident ... something
I met a woman who is everything I ever dreamed of and we both wanted children. We are celebrating our first wedding anniversary today and our baby boy is sleeping in my arms as I type this.
It is not the easiest thing in the world to do, but we have travelled all across the US and to Europe with him before he was 7 months old. He goes everywhere with us and hasn't held us back one bit.
Philosophically, I am opposed to people having children unless there is a reasonable chance of them growing up to have a positive impact on humanity. The world is already full of mediocre, selfish, and willfully ignorant people. My hope is that our son will grow up to find his place where he can do the most good for his family and those around him.
It is not the easiest thing in the world to do, but we have travelled all across the US and to Europe with him before he was 7 months old. He goes everywhere with us and hasn't held us back one bit.
Philosophically, I am opposed to people having children unless there is a reasonable chance of them growing up to have a positive impact on humanity. The world is already full of mediocre, selfish, and willfully ignorant people. My hope is that our son will grow up to find his place where he can do the most good for his family and those around him.
