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why did you have children?

#21
I have children because it was what I was raised to do. I have amazing parents that gave me some pretty good values.
Those of us that already have children know they are the fountain of youth. I've gotten to relive my childhood. I've got a wonderful daughter and son. I also am the sole member of my family that has passed on my family name.
My sole uncle from my father had 2 girls, so it was up to me to have the son.
Also, turning 30 this year, my youngest will be out of the house at 18 (hopefully) and I will be 48 and ready to rage again.
 
#25
A-Step-Towards said:
I am waiting for some honest ones like " i was at the bar" or "i wasnt going all the way to the store".
Click to expand...
Okay, I didn't want to have biological children because I was terrified of being a father. No bar stories etc. In my early to mid 20's I was too strung out to have relationships with women. I guess in a way I was being protected but I didn't see it that way at the time.
Here's another question. The decision to not have children is a valid one. Why did people decide not to have children. They had a horrible childhood? No one is willing to have children with them? They can't afford it? Too much commitment? They are infertile? They are concerned about overpopulation?
 
#26
A-Step-Towards said:
I am waiting for some honest ones like " i was at the bar" or "i wasnt going all the way to the store".
Click to expand...

My honest answer is that my wife and I wanted a baby.

Hopefully there aren't too many TBer's that disn't want kids and didn't take steps to prevent a pregnancy. Being a parent is a tough enough job if you want to do it. I can't imagine doing it if you don't.
 
#28
slobake said:
Okay, I didn't want to have biological children because I was terrified of being a father. No bar stories etc. In my early to mid 20's I was too strung out to have relationships with women. I guess in a way I was being protected but I didn't see it that way at the time.
Here's another question. The decision to not have children is a valid one. Why did people decide not to have children. They had a horrible childhood? No one is willing to have children with them? They can't afford it? Too much commitment? They are infertile? They are concerned about overpopulation?
Click to expand...

I am being respectful of others opinions so I hope that people wont freak out on me for my view points or try to change my decision.

I decided to not have children because I view life as to short to spend it raising someone else. Say I live 80 years , 1/4 of that is to raise a kid , if you have 3 or 4 over a span of 10 years then 30 years of your life is ate up raising kids. As I said life is to short.

A child costs around 250000$ to raise to 18 , more if your paying for college. Then of course all that other crap like weddings and stuff.

I do also feel the world is over populated and feel if more people took steps like not having them then we could help slow this population growth. Then with this money we save we could help other countries with population bursts get more readily available birth control.

If a person does choose to have kids they should only replace/replicate yourself. Thus a man and a woman is 2 people should they decide to have kids they should replicate themselves meaning 2 children , if everyone decided to have 3 you can imagine the exponential growth. Then there are people that have 10 kids, that is not helping issues.

I would like to travel , have no ties and leave when I like. Id like to have nice possessions I never had growing up due to my parents having me as teens.

I have seen so many children go through divorces and I have also seen how bad society is and I don't want to have kids living in this and I am very protective of females having had to almost raise my baby sister as i had a single father working late nights, thus I would be very overbearing If i had a daughter.

I have had people tell me I am self fish-but I replied that wanting to replicate yourself, carry on your DNA , have someone to wipe your ass when your old or wanting to have your own child when many orphans need homes is self fish.

That said-If I met a girl who had older kids , like 7 or older and we hit it of I could stand 2 kids if i really liked this girl , but I wouldn't pretend to be there father if they didn't want it , my step mom tried to do that and i finally told her , look i like you but your not my mom , I cant call you mom. If the kid called me dad Id be honored to except. ALSO I would adopt if someone came to me in a bad spot and needed a family , if someone in my family was a druggie and couldn't care for there kid etc.
 
#29
I am only 23 and in law school, so I don't foresee having kids any time soon, but I definitely do want to have some, and for various reasons.

One of them, which hasn't really been stated, is that I find some validity in carrying on a family legacy. I don't have a very large family, nor a big extended family. The way I see it, I want someone to carry on my last name and to keep the family going (which ties into the fact that I want at least one son). There's something about never having any lineage that scares me... I want a direct descendant who is my spawn, shares my blood, and will continue on long after I am gone from this world.

Since I am not married, I can't speak to the desire to have a child with my future wife, but I imagine that will add a whole new set of reasons for my desire to have children.

There are several valid reasons that others may not want children, so I respect everyone's personal preferences. I definitely think there are too many people in this world, but I don't plan on having a ton of kids, and the kids I do have will be responsible and genuine, so I'm not concerned with having a couple more decent people on this planet.

As an aside, is it weird that I only want to have boys? I am 100% confident that if I have a daughter I will love and cherish her just as much, but there's something about raising a girl versus raising a boy that is very distinct in my mind. Who knows if my mindset will change in the future.
 
#31
A-Step-Towards said:
I am waiting for some honest ones like " i was at the bar" or "i wasnt going all the way to the store".
Click to expand...

My first was created after hours in the back of a Little Ceaser's Pizza, I had just broken up with the girl a month earlier and she called me looking to borrow some cash so I met her at her job after she shut down.

And well 6-7 months later I hear from her again, SURPRISE your about to turn 20 and be a dad how's it feel?

I knew at that very moment that she'd make a horrible parent, and damned if I wasn't 100% correct.
 
#34
1SHOT1HIT said:
My first was created after hours in the back of a Little Ceaser's Pizza, I had just broken up with the girl a month earlier and she called me looking to borrow some cash so I met her at her job after she shut down.

And well 6-7 months later I hear from her again, SURPRISE your about to turn 20 and be a dad how's it feel?

I knew at that very moment that she'd make a horrible parent, and damned if I wasn't 100% correct.
Click to expand...

A little ceasers haha thats great. I was made in a AMC rambler.........on accident;)

That'd be rough finding out your having a kid at 20 , but even rougher when your told 2 months before the kids born.
 
#35
Mutually planned two children two years apart. Since those anal days, we now wing-it. I guess it is too late after 13 years to return them. And the question was why did we have these alien beings. Hell I don't, strap in we may experience turbulence.
 
#37
First kid? Wasn't really timed, it just happened. Oops.
In fact, I didn't want kids at first, I thought I was "too selfish" and loving it, I was too into doing my own thing, too comfortable with living my life on my own terms with no big responsibilities like that. Plus, I thought kids were kinda ugly...drooling, pooping, bothering the heck out of ya when you want to be left alone.. In fact, read through any thread like this and look at the posts of those who are against having kids, look at their reasons - that was me.
Then the "oops" happened.
Now for the Hallmark moment.. the first time I held my son, some sort of primal switch flipped in my brain. *click* I'm a dad and this is my beautiful, perfect, indescribably cute son who I would give up anything for and jump in front of a moving train to protect if I had to. It changes you to the core. Man, I thought I had it made BEFORE I had my kids? Pfff.. wasn't s--t compared to what I have now. :)
I've had two more sons since then.
 
#39
Relic said:
First kid? Wasn't really timed, it just happened. Oops.
In fact, I didn't want kids at first, I thought I was "too selfish" and loving it, I was too into doing my own thing, too comfortable with living my life on my own terms with no big responsibilities like that. Plus, I thought kids were kinda ugly...drooling, pooping, bothering the heck out of ya when you want to be left alone.. In fact, read through any thread like this and look at the posts of those who are against having kids, look at their reasons - that was me.
Then the "oops" happened.
Now for the Hallmark moment.. the first time I held my son, some sort of primal switch flipped in my brain. *click* I'm a dad and this is my beautiful, perfect, indescribably cute son who I would give up anything for and jump in front of a moving train to protect if I had to. It changes you to the core. Man, I thought I had it made BEFORE I had my kids? Pfff.. wasn't s--t compared to what I have now. :)
I've had two more sons since then.
Click to expand...

Took after his mother eh?:D



I used to hate kids, from pooping, puking crying babies to 10 year old hyperactive uncontrollable chaos machines. But as I'm getting "wiser", I started to un-hate them. And a switch flipped off in my brain when my cousin's baby girl hugged me saying "uncle uncle I love uncle". I...I...it's nothing, there's dust in my eyes :bawl:

:help:
 
#40
A-Step-Towards said:
A little ceasers haha thats great. I was made in a AMC rambler.........on accident;)

That'd be rough finding out your having a kid at 20 , but even rougher when your told 2 months before the kids born.
Click to expand...

Yeah I'd say it was definitely the most terrifying news I had received at that age.
However she trumped the suck factor ten times over with her parenting skills, or well lack there of.

Hence why if you've Seem me discuss in other threads why I have sole custody of him today.

What made it even worse is that I had not seen her that entire first 6-7 months since that night at Little Ceaser's so having to wait around for a paternity test was a nightmare, I wasn't just going to take her word for it.
So really I couldn't even prepare mentally w/o knowing for certain.

Crappy situation all together.
 

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