Oh yeah, you are pretty new. There was this big ole tirade about it. Some of us threatened to quit our supporting memberships, and I had a sign up as my avatar in protest.
Things got ugly, and the dissenters were smited.
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Why do girls spill their guts to me?
- Thread starter chicago_mike
- Start date
Oh yeah, you are pretty new. There was this big ole tirade about it. Some of us threatened to quit our supporting memberships, and I had a sign up as my avatar in protest.
Things got ugly, and the dissenters were smited.
You just made images of Matthew McConagaughey flash through my head. I hate you
There are few things I hate worse than that guy. I hate MM almost as much as I love John Norwood Fisher
The only thing I enjoyed was watching him get eaten by a dragon in that one movie where he got eaten by a dragon at the end
I thought MM got eaten by a dragon at the end of every movie he was in. Hmm. I should stop falling asleep with my MM tape on...
Last I checked I dont have a neon sign on my face saying Im the proverbial shoulder to cry on...
How did this happen in the first place, and how do I stop it?
Any other guys / gals around here the proverbial shoulder?
Get your number here.:scowl:
friendz zone 4 life
Take advantage of that.
"I understand your hurt/upset/emotional/etc. but I really couldn't care less. Now, if you want to tell me about the things that turn you on, Im listening."
john turner
You don't want to do that. Trust me.
you know, i'm not saying this is the case here, but i've had a few guys complain to me about the "always a friend never a benefit" thing, and invariably these guys always had some obvious, glaring thing about them that was .... ew. and invariably these things were addressable/preventable/fixable.
now, i'm not one to gauge a guy's whatever
but if i in my 100% hetero viewpoint can recognize something needlessly gross and mule-like about a dude, then imagine what a healthy hetero girl would be thinking?
how does this apply to the op? well, this may sound harsh, and like i said, i don't know the op at all, so i'm not saying any of these apply to him, but this is sorta my generic "straighten up and fly right" speech
...
1. how's your hygiene? no, smelling like a jock strap is -not- manly. how's your breath? is your skin greasy? do you smell like socks?
2. how's your wardrobe? yeah, clothes - if the best thing you've got was purchased at walmart, then count yourself lucky that someone's even gonna cry on your shoulder.
3. how's your "presentation"? are you fawning, desperate and preening? or are you confident, solid and intelligent in your communications? think of every interraction with a potential "buddy" as a job interview. it's nothing to do with being "a nice guy" or not, it has to do with having the right qualifications for the position(s).
4. how's your general attitude, outside of your "maneuvering"? are you a positive person? do you have a cool, intelligent, unique outlook on things? do you like to talk about ideas and concepts constructively? are you confident enough in yourself to praise other people you see without reservation?
or are you cynical, insulting, petulant, whiny, intimidated, dumb, superficial, egotistical, etc.? which one would -you- rather talk to? and don't think that just because you are the chosen receptical for the girl's estrogen symphony that means that she's not listening to you talk about other stuff. most girls over the age of 18 like to talk about a lot of things more than their problems, but they like to talk to someone who they think actually has something to say.
5. do you exercise? so you try to make yourself the best you can be? or are you a fat sack of slack? i know, it's harsh, but think of it this way. look at yourself in the mirror, naked. would you want you? if you can't say yes, then it's time to hit the iron.
i guess i'm saying it this way because now that i'm back at school, after being out so long (and it's a school that is really well known for being very heavily skewed-to-the-male-side population-wise) everyday i'm seeing dorky, nerdy, clueless guys make utter fools of themselves trying to impress a girl enough to make a "connection". it's embarrassing
.
it's not the girl's fault that she's not into you (And again i'm not directing this to the op, but more toward the belly aching "i'm such a nice guy and all the bad guys get the girls waaaah" guys.) there's something that you're doing wrong, and you keep doing it, hoping for a different response. that never works.
now, i'm not one to gauge a guy's whatever
but if i in my 100% hetero viewpoint can recognize something needlessly gross and mule-like about a dude, then imagine what a healthy hetero girl would be thinking? how does this apply to the op? well, this may sound harsh, and like i said, i don't know the op at all, so i'm not saying any of these apply to him, but this is sorta my generic "straighten up and fly right" speech
...1. how's your hygiene? no, smelling like a jock strap is -not- manly. how's your breath? is your skin greasy? do you smell like socks?
2. how's your wardrobe? yeah, clothes - if the best thing you've got was purchased at walmart, then count yourself lucky that someone's even gonna cry on your shoulder.
3. how's your "presentation"? are you fawning, desperate and preening? or are you confident, solid and intelligent in your communications? think of every interraction with a potential "buddy" as a job interview. it's nothing to do with being "a nice guy" or not, it has to do with having the right qualifications for the position(s).
4. how's your general attitude, outside of your "maneuvering"? are you a positive person? do you have a cool, intelligent, unique outlook on things? do you like to talk about ideas and concepts constructively? are you confident enough in yourself to praise other people you see without reservation?
or are you cynical, insulting, petulant, whiny, intimidated, dumb, superficial, egotistical, etc.? which one would -you- rather talk to? and don't think that just because you are the chosen receptical for the girl's estrogen symphony that means that she's not listening to you talk about other stuff. most girls over the age of 18 like to talk about a lot of things more than their problems, but they like to talk to someone who they think actually has something to say.
5. do you exercise? so you try to make yourself the best you can be? or are you a fat sack of slack? i know, it's harsh, but think of it this way. look at yourself in the mirror, naked. would you want you? if you can't say yes, then it's time to hit the iron.
i guess i'm saying it this way because now that i'm back at school, after being out so long (and it's a school that is really well known for being very heavily skewed-to-the-male-side population-wise) everyday i'm seeing dorky, nerdy, clueless guys make utter fools of themselves trying to impress a girl enough to make a "connection". it's embarrassing
. it's not the girl's fault that she's not into you (And again i'm not directing this to the op, but more toward the belly aching "i'm such a nice guy and all the bad guys get the girls waaaah" guys.) there's something that you're doing wrong, and you keep doing it, hoping for a different response. that never works.
Man, JT, there is so much misinformation in your post its not even funny (though, please, I beg your mercy, spare me the b&hammer).
Points 1 & 2 don't apply at all. It is entirely possible to smell of a wet sock and wear Target clothes and get hot chicks.
Point 3 has some merit, in that girls dont want that desperate guy.
Point 4 as well, slightly. A lot of the personality triats youve listed can still get a guy laid: cynical, insulting, dumb, superficial, egotistical guys get action all the time.
Point 5 helps, but only in the sense that it helps boost confidence, and confidence is key.
Your advice will get a lot of the "i'm such a nice guy and all the bad guys get the girls waaaah" a lot of nowhere.
I know, as I was once that guy. Now I have hot chicks fawning over me.
What will get you a lot farther than the above is this: Stop Caring. Apply Maki's advice. Now youre a chick magnet. Wear a rubber.
Points 1 & 2 don't apply at all. It is entirely possible to smell of a wet sock and wear Target clothes and get hot chicks.
Point 3 has some merit, in that girls dont want that desperate guy.
Point 4 as well, slightly. A lot of the personality triats youve listed can still get a guy laid: cynical, insulting, dumb, superficial, egotistical guys get action all the time.
Point 5 helps, but only in the sense that it helps boost confidence, and confidence is key.
Your advice will get a lot of the "i'm such a nice guy and all the bad guys get the girls waaaah" a lot of nowhere.
I know, as I was once that guy. Now I have hot chicks fawning over me.
What will get you a lot farther than the above is this: Stop Caring. Apply Maki's advice. Now youre a chick magnet. Wear a rubber.
john turner
You don't want to do that. Trust me.
not any girl -i'd- want to sleep with. then again, you sleep with everyone they slept with before too, along with them, so i guess my standards in "former boyfriends" are too high lol.
guys practicing "not caring" when they obviously do very much care -are- desperate. obviously. the point is not to "not care" the point is to make -them- care. by being something worth caring about.
just because something works for someone doesn't mean it can be applied to everyone. cynical dumb insulting egotistical works for russell crowe. neither you nor anyone else in this thread is russell crowe. if it has worked for you before, count yourself lucky, and then start working on that personality for the next time.
not my experience, and i've seen a lot of guys go from loser to laid in the past 26 years since i started paying attention to that kind of thing. but of course, ymmv.
lol. pardon me. my advice was for getting girls actually -wanting- me, and not -just- sleeping with me. there's a difference. i've been married now for almost a decade, and i still get the occasional email from 3 or 4 individuals every few months who obviously feel inspired to test the waters, just in case, despite that i've made it perfectly and abundantly clear that i have no interest.
but that's cool, you guys keep doing what you do.
. that apparently works for -so many- folks.another thing to consider. all the 20-something year old "i don't care and i'm broadcasting how much i don't care to make you care" guys that i knew back when i was that age are now divorced. no lie, and i knew quite a few. take from that what you will, but as a 40 something-year old, that attitude becomes a much harder sell.
