Why pick on bone players?

[ToddC]

Where do bone players get bones?
Do bone players eat meat?
How do you know if someone is a bonefied bone player?
Do French bone players have a bone appetite?
Do bone players throw bones, or are they what is being thrown?
Bone Jour!

Hey.... throw me a bone.
Why pick on the bone players?
Aren't bass players the ones that play a chromatic scale like:
do re me fa so la ti do?

 

[NJL]

all i know is that if i need a trombone player the night of the gig, all i have to do is drive around and look for a pizzahut sign on a car.

 

[lowendgenerator]

I wish I knew what the hell you were talking about.

 

[fretlessman71]

Yeah, but at least they can do it in seven positions!

 

[NJL]

Yeah, but at least they can do it in seven positions!

yeah but it doesn't help if their form of birth control is their own personality.

 

[SanDiegoHarry]

Could be worse... they could play clarinet...

 

[Ed Goode]

Definition of an eternal optimist ......

A trombone player with a business card and a pager

 

[ToddC]

Definition of an eternal optimist ......

A trombone player with a business card and a pager

I used to have a business card but I gave it away.

 

[Jeremy Crockett]

What's the difference between a snake run over in the middle of the road and a trombone player run over in the middle of the road?



































































(Wait for it)







































































































(Here it comes)












































































(Probably not worth it)


































































































The snake was on his way to a gig.

 

[ToddC]

Definition of an eternal optimist ......

A trombone player with a business card and a pager

I knew a bone player who had a business card but he traded it for a clarinet.

 

[Quap]

all i know is that if i need a trombone player the night of the gig, all i have to do is drive around and look for a pizzahut sign on a car.

That's funny because my buddy who plays bone delivers Pizzas during the summer when he's not working as a band director.

 

[NJL]

That's funny because my buddy who plays bone delivers Pizzas during the summer when he's not working as a band director.

i delivered pizza as a trumpet player back in the day...

 

[ToddC]

i delivered pizza as a trumpet player back in the day...

Did you have a business card?

 

[NJL]

Did you have a business card?

yes, it's in a shadowbox on the wall along with my pager and trumpet.

 

[Ed Goode]

BTW, I double on trombone & tuba .....

 

[NJL]

What's the difference between a dead trombonist and a dead squirrel in the road?
The squirrel might have been on its way to a gig.

Why did the tuba player switch to the drums?
Because he couldn't read the music.

 

[MikeBass]

How do get a bone player to play in tune????
Give him a piano to play.......

How many bone players does it take to screw in a light bulb???
All of them.....hell, they're not gigging, so what the hell else is there for them to do???

How do you get a bone player to stop playing???
Shoot him.

How do get a bone player to play in tune????
Shoot him.

What do you call a bone player with a gig???
A roadie.

What's the difference between a dead rat in the road and a dead bone player in the road???
Yeah, I thought the same thing...what's the difference

 

[Willy2911]

LOL I have a Cousin who plays trombone and he is the worlds biggest DIP $HI*, & I think he has a thing 4 Kenny G..... Nasty little Bugger....(shiver) %$#$**%$*((%$($#^%#*^

 

[MikeBass]

LOL I have a Cousin who plays trombone and he is the worlds biggest DIP $HI*, & I think he has a thing 4 Kenny G..... Nasty little Bugger....(shiver) %$#$**%$*((%$($#^%#*^

What's the difference between a bone player an Kenny G?????
You can actually stand a bone solo!

Why wouldn't Kenny G have a bone player in his band???
He wouldn't want some one who could play in tune better than he could.

A bone play and Kenny G get into a fight....who would win??
Hello??!?!?!?! The bone player!!! Kenny G is a F@G!!!!!

 

[jgsbass]

Some ( not all) Trombonists ( tromboner?) deserve to be bashed. I work with a lot of freelance players and some are as true to the stereotype as can be. I work with a big band that has a steady stream of them coming in and out and its always amusing. One brought his tuxedo to the gig in a plastic grocery bag. One who will remain nameless* has been a thorn in the side of just about everyone he encounters: he ruined a live video shoot by standing up after a tune and saying" I don't think that was very good, can we do another?" on camera! We all were told, one runthrough, no second takes. I have dozens of embarassing stories about him, accumulated over the years. He's also a teacher in my school district and has singlehandedly killed the music program in my district. Schools don't want him back, union says you can't fire him for being an a$$hole, so the schools excess the whole music program just to get rid of him. He's such an idiot that his website doesn't have a link for email, just a phone number.
While we're on the subject:
How can you tell the trombone players kids in the playground?
They can use the slide, but they just can't swing






*Frank Pedulla, cant remain nameless forever, chump