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Working bassists who have quit drinking
- Thread starter gustobassman
- Start date
Haven’t been drinking for a year ½. If the rest of your band drinks, your looked at as different, as “the sober guy” but soon after they get used to it. And if they don’t, I personally don’t care.
But yes, as with all people that drink, you notice how is changes them, most of the time for the worse.…..especially if they are jamming
Sometimes you can tolerate it sometimes you can’t
But yes, as with all people that drink, you notice how is changes them, most of the time for the worse.…..especially if they are jamming
Sometimes you can tolerate it sometimes you can’t
Boundaries and standards are very important, but those are different than expectations. An expectation is a disappointment waiting to happen. IOW, it has to be like this, or else......you didn't act the way you're supposed to act (because I'm in charge of how you're supposed to act), etc....See where I'm going with this?
There is nothing that is 'supposed to be'. Supposed to be is a mental construct akin to the my way or the highway thought process.
For me, it's live and let live.....(The only way I can truly live is to allow others to live truly.)
After all, it's not about me.
Last edited:
- Jun 6, 2012
- 4,837
- 6,859
- Disclosures
- I don't wait 30 minutes after eating, to go swimming.
Halle-flipping-lujah!! Sober LIVING is amazing!! 6 years!!
One more comment on this...in line with getting used to feeling like an outsider, quitting smoking while in a band where everyone smokes is a real royal pain in the arse. Quitting smoking is demanding enough of one's focus and persistence, constantly being lured back by the "smoking routine" of others while your brain is screaming for the nicotine wafting across the jam space sucks. And ciggies, booze, and partying all go hand in hand with late nights and other stupidity...But trust me, if I can do it, anyone can. It all took a few tries.
I don't want to come on as a naysayer and I congratulate all of those who have kicked a habit which was injuring them. I have personally been playing for 20 years and for the most part it is accompanied by a few drinks. From April up until December I am typically playing twice or three times a week and in each of those I will usually have a few drinks. It has never been a problem for me though. It is the same case of the 17 musicians I play with and the vast majority of them drink.
During the week however I have no desire to drink. Again, in the months between January and March I never even fancy a drink unless it is a glass of wine or two if we go out for a meal.
It really depends on how much of an addictive personality one has and what it is that you are liable to become addicted. In my case, Cigarettes are my addiction and I seriously need to tackle quitting.
During the week however I have no desire to drink. Again, in the months between January and March I never even fancy a drink unless it is a glass of wine or two if we go out for a meal.
It really depends on how much of an addictive personality one has and what it is that you are liable to become addicted. In my case, Cigarettes are my addiction and I seriously need to tackle quitting.
I didn't quit drinking alcohol, but I did quit abusing it about two years ago. My musical skills, bank account, and personal life have all greatly improved since then.
Now I MIGHT have 3 beers over the course of a night if i'm playing a gig.
I quit abusing it for the obvious reasons, but I still have a beer or two because I really do enjoy trying new craft beers.
Now I MIGHT have 3 beers over the course of a night if i'm playing a gig.
I quit abusing it for the obvious reasons, but I still have a beer or two because I really do enjoy trying new craft beers.
I read an article about alcohol and low bass frequencies. Basically it stated that when we drink, we become less and less sensitive to low frequencies. Thus, we keep feeling like we need to turn our bass amps up through the course of the gig. It leads to hearing loss (and the band sounding bad too).
As far as attitude about alcohol, sounds like you're on the right track. If its any help, my advice about quitting vices like drinking (I quit smoking, mildly related) is to HATE it. You'll never drink again if you realize and embrace how much you hate it. If you say "I need to quit but I really wish I didn't have to," you'll fail.
I saw a Zach Wylde interview recently, the interviewer congratulated him on quitting drinking. "Good for you, man." He says, "NO! Not good for me! Bad for me!" Basically he said what an idiot he was for taking things to the point to needing to quit for health reasons.
As far as attitude about alcohol, sounds like you're on the right track. If its any help, my advice about quitting vices like drinking (I quit smoking, mildly related) is to HATE it. You'll never drink again if you realize and embrace how much you hate it. If you say "I need to quit but I really wish I didn't have to," you'll fail.
I saw a Zach Wylde interview recently, the interviewer congratulated him on quitting drinking. "Good for you, man." He says, "NO! Not good for me! Bad for me!" Basically he said what an idiot he was for taking things to the point to needing to quit for health reasons.
It all seems warm and fuzzy (and hippie... ish). But it simply isn't true.
I expect you to tell me the truth.
I expect that you will refrain from raping my children. (Failure to do so will create a situation where I can't let you live..... truly or otherwise.)
I expect you to show up to a gig with properly-functioning gear and your brain (for the most part) in tact.
I expect you to wear shoes if we are playing a wedding.
I expect when parking your car next to mine that you exit yours without denting mine.
I expect all guests in my home to leave without taking my belongings.
I expect you to refrain from pissing in my pool.
I expect my daughter to do her homework and get good grades. Doing so creates a situation whereby I share some of my food with her and allow her to live inside my house mostly rent free. (She's only 5 after all. Charging rent at this point seems a bit much.)
I expect the pool guy to make my water crystal clear. I am paying for that expectation.
I expect my neighbors to refrain from shooting off fireworks at midnight on Tuesday. Failure to do so (like last Tuesday) might cause me to become a bit..... unreasonable.
With all these examples (and thousands more I could list all day) it is "my way or the highway". And that doesn't make me unreasonable, unintelligent, a hick, narrow minded, or anything else (quite frankly). OK, the one about my daughter had a hint of sarcasm..... but not as much as you might think.
Probably the clearest example is this. I expect my wife to only sleep with me. Technically, I am not "in charge of how she is supposed to act". With regard to this one aspect of our marriage, however, it is absolutely "my way or the highway". And most sane people would not find that expectation to be unreasonable. That is a boundary, and standard, AND an expectation.
Those things don't make me critical. They don't mean I am trying to be "in charge of how you're supposed to act". Standards, boundaries, and expectations (norms, "supposed to be"s, etc. etc.) share lots of common ground. They are not mutually exclusive.
My apologies for the derail. This thread was already a bit disorganized so I thought I could throw this in without causing too much of a disturbance in the force.
Dude, chill...It all seems warm and fuzzy (and hippie... ish). But it simply isn't true.
I expect you to tell me the truth.
I expect that you will refrain from raping my children. (Failure to do so will create a situation where I can't let you live..... truly or otherwise.)
I expect you to show up to a gig with properly-functioning gear and your brain (for the most part) in tact.
I expect you to wear shoes if we are playing a wedding.
I expect when parking your car next to mine that you exit yours without denting mine.
I expect all guests in my home to leave without taking my belongings.
I expect you to refrain from pissing in my pool.
I expect my daughter to do her homework and get good grades. Doing so creates a situation whereby I share some of my food with her and allow her to live inside my house mostly rent free. (She's only 5 after all. Charging rent at this point seems a bit much.)
I expect the pool guy to make my water crystal clear. I am paying for that expectation.
I expect my neighbors to refrain from shooting off fireworks at midnight on Tuesday. Failure to do so (like last Tuesday) might cause me to become a bit..... unreasonable.
With all these examples (and thousands more I could list all day) it is "my way or the highway". And that doesn't make me unreasonable, unintelligent, a hick, narrow minded, or anything else (quite frankly). OK, the one about my daughter had a hint of sarcasm..... but not as much as you might think.
Probably the clearest example is this. I expect my wife to only sleep with me. Technically, I am not "in charge of how she is supposed to act". With regard to this one aspect of our marriage, however, it is absolutely "my way or the highway". And most sane people would not find that expectation to be unreasonable. That is a boundary, and standard, AND an expectation.
Those things don't make me critical. They don't mean I am trying to be "in charge of how you're supposed to act". Standards, boundaries, and expectations (norms, "supposed to be"s, etc. etc.) share lots of common ground. They are not mutually exclusive.
My apologies for the derail. This thread was already a bit disorganized so I thought I could throw this in without causing too much of a disturbance in the force.
Good thread
Long story short been in and out of treatment a few times. I may not play bass for a living unfortunately I squandered that opportunity (to quote Afro Man) "because I got high". Heroin was my poison but every time I drink I get drunk and fall on a needle. It's been four years clean no drugs or booze even started vaping instead of smoking cigs.
I am married and have a son and step kids now and really want to live watch my kids grow up and be with my wife. I found playing music with musicians who drink is ok with me because I am there to play music and if that's why they are there too I don't care if they want to have a couple drinks. But when I go to practice and people are drunk it's annoying, on top of them being annoying they can't play on time. Which means they aren't there to play they are there to drink.
I like being sober now especially for music. Before everything got out of hand I played in multiple bands, practiced when I wasn't playing in bands, and writing music when I wasn't practicing technique. I wasted some great potential if I kept that commitment I could be making a living doing something involved with music. That's off the table now but I am very grateful to be clean so I can play music as a hobby. I sold a guitar to get an interface and a daw although I wish I had more time. I get to practice and write music again and on my terms. I love flying solo and get to create my own vision (try to at least). I have a goal to make an lp or album so to speak. If I was using or drinking I wouldn't be able to do that.
Long story short been in and out of treatment a few times. I may not play bass for a living unfortunately I squandered that opportunity (to quote Afro Man) "because I got high". Heroin was my poison but every time I drink I get drunk and fall on a needle. It's been four years clean no drugs or booze even started vaping instead of smoking cigs.
I am married and have a son and step kids now and really want to live watch my kids grow up and be with my wife. I found playing music with musicians who drink is ok with me because I am there to play music and if that's why they are there too I don't care if they want to have a couple drinks. But when I go to practice and people are drunk it's annoying, on top of them being annoying they can't play on time. Which means they aren't there to play they are there to drink.
I like being sober now especially for music. Before everything got out of hand I played in multiple bands, practiced when I wasn't playing in bands, and writing music when I wasn't practicing technique. I wasted some great potential if I kept that commitment I could be making a living doing something involved with music. That's off the table now but I am very grateful to be clean so I can play music as a hobby. I sold a guitar to get an interface and a daw although I wish I had more time. I get to practice and write music again and on my terms. I love flying solo and get to create my own vision (try to at least). I have a goal to make an lp or album so to speak. If I was using or drinking I wouldn't be able to do that.
The music would have to really, REALLY good for me to put up with that.
