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Working bassists who have quit drinking

gustobassman

gustobassman

I'm only here for the after party..
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Mar 31, 2011
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#1
Working bassists who have quit drinking... how many of you are out there? What changes have you made to your music lifestyle regarding the bands you play with or projects you get involved with? I had a health scare on tour in a foreign country a little over 2 months ago and I promptly quit drinking based on doctor's advice (it wasn't the main issue, but it never hurts to listen to the doc). Since then i've been taking a LONG look at my relationships in music and life and how the 2 co-exist. I can deal with people who drink, that's not the issue, it's more about seeing who people (i.e. some bandmembers and others I work with) really are without me being under the influence. In other words do I want to keep doing this with people who are not what i thought they were?

If you have been in this situation did you stay or go? If you stayed, what kind of personal concessions did you make to keep your sanity? Do you keep the gig for the obvious reasons and push through, or are you are better off not being there? I'm not at this point yet by any means, but if it comes up I was just curious how others are handling stuff like this.
 
#3
RunBeerRun said:
been clean since age 20. cant do it without much exercise and sex. youll never last, no one does.
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So exercise and sex will help me deal with people/business acquaintances who are way different than I thought they were when I was drinking a lot. OK, got it. :thumbsup: :bored:
 
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#4
I don't know the particulars of your case, but I was a raging alcoholic/drug user and it got to the point where things had to change if I didn't want to die. I'm clean and sober over 15 years now. There were gigs I had to play early in my sobriety because of contracts (wedding/corporate stuff) and I actually had people chaperone me. Anyway, over years of working the program I realized that I can't drink socially, ever, and I have a problem with alcohol that other do not and I just have to deal with it that way.

Over time, the obsession to drink does go away and it gets a LOT easier. As this happens, you see things more clearly and may discover things that you were cool with in the past don't work for you now. You're not really supposed to be around people who are still doing the behaviors you are trying to avoid, so you can try to keep that contact to a minimum and only make it about business. I wasn't entirely happy with things when I saw it a little more clearly, but most musical associations are temporary and they usually dissolve and you can move on to other things as you see fit. That's what I did.
 
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#5
20db pad said:
I don't know the particulars of your case, but I was a raging alcoholic/drug user and it got to the point where things had to change if I didn't want to die. I'm clean and sober over 15 years now. There were gigs I had to play early in my sobriety because of contracts (wedding/corporate stuff) and I actually had people chaperone me. Anyway, over years of working the program I realized that I can't drink socially, ever, and I have a problem with alcohol that other do not and I just have to deal with it that way.

Over time, the obsession to drink does go away and it gets a LOT easier. As this happens, you see things more clearly and may discover things that you were cool with in the past don't work for you now. You're not really supposed to be around people who are still doing the behaviors you are trying to avoid, so you can try to keep that contact to a minimum and only make it about business. I wasn't entirely happy with things when I saw it a little more clearly, but most musical associations are temporary and they usually dissolve and you can move on to other things as you see fit. That's what I did.
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My case isn't about being sober, it was that drinking was a factor in another health issue I had. I'm glad you were able to handle your stuff. That's a ton of hard work (i'm 8 yrs clean from another substance so I know your pain). I'm more concerned about the fact that some of the people I work with are straight looney #$%&'s (what musician isn't) and I never really noticed after a few beers before, LOL!!
 
#6
gustobassman said:
My case isn't about being sober, it was that drinking was a factor in another health issue I had. I'm glad you were able to handle your stuff. That's a ton of hard work (i'm 8 yrs clean from another substance so I know your pain). I'm more concerned about the fact that some of the people I work with are straight looney #$%&'s (what musician isn't) and I never really noticed after a few beers before, LOL!!
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Thanks - I think I addressed that you have to assess the situation with the clearer mind you have now and weigh the positives and the negatives. Obviously the positive is the money, but if the other behaviors aren't fun to be around or aren't furthering your growth and maintaining your sobriety, it's time to think about moving on. I know I'm probably thinking far too AA for you but this is what has worked for me in very similar situations.
 
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#8
I can't claim to be a working musician, but I am someone who will not drink alcohol anymore and still frequent bars if I want to watch a band or hang with friends who do. It was a spiritual decision for me so it's easy to turn it down. Funny though, I get offered more free drinks and shots now than I ever did before. I thought quitting alcohol was a lot easier than nicotine.

I don't keep myself away from people and places that have alcohol because I know I can say no to it, but I do refuse to pay for alcohol. My friends know that if Im paying for a meal, any drinks they ordered are on them.
 
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#9
To answer your first question, there are many working musicians who have quit drinking, or never started. I'm in an age group where most have quit years ago. anyone who had a real problem has either quit or died. I stopped drinking in my twenties. My first reaction to the band was anger. I felt disappointed that the band was not playing up to it's potential, and the silly behavior was not funny anymore. However, as someone mentioned already, judgement will not help you. I look back on that night and realize that from the audience's perspective, they probably wondered what was wrong with the "stick-in-the-mud" bass player with the attitude.

You've described a situation that sounds a bit extreme. I would have great difficulty playing with out-of-control alcohol abusers unless I was getting paid piles of money and the foolish behavior was part of the image (think Hole). Even then I would feel out of my element and comfort zone. There are many professional situations where drinking is not involved. Most of the musicians I play with now don't drink anymore. A few might have one or two drinks throughout the course of the evening, but nobody ever gets to where you can even notice that they've had a few. It's much nicer this way.
 
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#10
Only you know when your boundaries are being crossed, or when you're being sucked into someone elses drama. If it doesn't feel right, stop doing it. Like is too short for anyone to waste their time. I have moved in and out of many creative circles when I felt being a part was hurting me more than helping me. You owe no one any deep explainations, they are not thinking about you anyway.
 
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#11
Hahaha said:
To answer your first question, there are many working musicians who have quit drinking, or never started. I'm in an age group where most have quit years ago. anyone who had a real problem has either quit or died. I stopped drinking in my twenties. My first reaction to the band was anger. I felt disappointed that the band was not playing up to it's potential, and the silly behavior was not funny anymore. However, as someone mentioned already, judgement will not help you. I look back on that night and realize that from the audience's perspective, they probably wondered what was wrong with the "stick-in-the-mud" bass player with the attitude.

You've described a situation that sounds a bit extreme. I would have great difficulty playing with out-of-control alcohol abusers unless I was getting paid piles of money and the foolish behavior was part of the image (think Hole). Even then I would feel out of my element and comfort zone. There are many professional situations where drinking is not involved. Most of the musicians I play with now don't drink anymore. A few might have one or two drinks throughout the course of the evening, but nobody ever gets to where you can even notice that they've had a few. It's much nicer this way.
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Great post. I'm hoping I'm (pre) over-reacting to what may happen. The actions of others have gotten to me a few times and I guess I'm just cautious about the future.
 
#12
I never started drinking. But i can still relate to the frustration of dealing with idiot a-hole musicians.

My advice is to dump your expectations of them. (They are never likely to change) and develop a sense of humor. Idiots can be funny. Think of the band as an interactive sitcom.

In the meantime you take care of yourself and keep making good choices that the future-you will appreciate.
 
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#14
I've never had a drinking problem, so I guess I'm fortunate as that problem tends to run in my family, but I used to drink pretty regularly in my early 20's...one day I said to myself "enough is enough" and it was a decision based on my finances more than anything....

It was weird being around my bandmates who were still indulging, I got accused of being a stick in the mud, ***hole, etc, because I was a little less tolerant of their clowning around behaviors.... I moved on not soon after, but it was really eye opening seeing how they really were through clear eyes, and I knew these guys since high school...

You can make it work if you believe in the music, but I guess you gotta weigh the pro's/cons of your particular situation, I actually miss playing with these guys now, though they have broken up...either way it was fun while it lasted!!
 
#16
I did over 100 gigs for the last 3 years and guit booze in 2000. Used to be a functioning alcoholic on the way to non functioning human.

The first gig I did without booze was the most nervous I have ever been. It was a crowded ballroom playing a huge gig on a Sunday afternon for a charity. Every ounce of me needed my shot of jäger and a couple of bottles of PBR. But I didn't and that gig was a blast. All it takes is one set before u realize that u don't neeed booze to relax and get a groove.

My band just parted ways with a drummer who had a few rium and cokes each set. When you are doing 4 sets that come out to 4 to 8 shots of rum. His timing suffered greatly. It was evident to everyone but him.

I don't miss it at all. I predict you won't either. Think of it this way: booze did not get you the gig, did not drive you to the gig, did not set up your gear, or do a thing else- you did. Do not give booze any credit for any of those positive steps. It was all you.

The gig is enough. After I play a good set I feel so clear headed and enegized.

One tip: show up at the gig with something healthy as a replacement as a treat to yourself. During hot out door gigs I bring a big bottle of coconut water or a water bottle with green tea. when people offer to buy me a drink I get a club soda with lime.

Sober playing is amazing. I wonder why I did not stop sooner.
 
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#19
I'm finally sober after years of drink-soaked gigs. Yes, there are a lot of straight-up loony musicians, club-owners, et al. My biggest concern was would people I played with be capable of serious work and rehearsals, regardless of their alcohol/drug use. It doesn't affect me to be around it, other than SOMETIMES! I'm not digging the "party scene" and feel the need to remove myself...no work is going on by that time anyway. I'm happy that my practicing time is WAY more productive and I'm not wasting time using it as an excuse to drink. Learning to "party" sober is tricky...but if ya pick great people...not so hard! Best of luck~
 
#20
I never got to be a professional musician. For about a decade I had severe depression and a sleeping disorder which led to heavy drinking. Somehow, stupidly, I managed to keep it all secret from my family. I often wonder if I could have been a professional musician if only I had asked for help earlier. Maybe there's still time?

To anyone suffering in secret: don't. Talk to someone today.
 
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