Would you join a band with much younger guys?

[48thStreetCustom]

Would you join a band with a guys 20-25 years younger than you and in a completely different phase of their life?

I'll spare you the details on my recent situation, but I'm in my mid-40s and politely declined to audition for a band full of young guys. I got a nasty reply saying I must not be a good musician if I let age determine who I choose to play with. Whatever. No biggie.

I'm not looking for an assessment of my situation. I'm wondering if anyone else sets age limits for the bands they'll join.

Through experience, I've found that bands work best when they share common life experiences and are at similar places in life. For instance, one guy in his 40s with a wife and kids who doesn't drink in a band with 20 something bachelors and not as many responsibilities is probably not going to be a good fit. I've been in a few bands where no one really had much in common except the band. The older I get, the more important it is for me to enjoy the company of my band mates. And at my age, I know I don't want to be the old guy at the kegger frat party, so to speak.

 

[two fingers]

It all depends on the goals of the band. If they were weekend warrior's just looking to play a few shows a month around my area, sure. If they were looking to "make it big", probably not.

 

[buldog5151bass]

It's more the mental age. I'm 50, but I'd take a mature twenty-something over a middle aged rock star wanna be.

 

[crucislancer]

Would you join a band with a guys 20-25 years younger than you and in a completely different phase of their life?

I'll spare you the details on my recent situation, but I'm in my mid-40s and politely declined to audition for a band full of young guys. I got a nasty reply saying I must not be a good musician if I let age determine who I choose to play with. Whatever. No biggie.

I'm not looking for an assessment of my situation. I'm wondering if anyone else sets age limits for the bands they'll join.

Through experience, I've found that bands work best when they share common life experiences and are at similar places in life. For instance, one guy in his 40s with a wife and kids who doesn't drink in a band with 20 something bachelors and not as many responsibilities is probably not going to be a good fit. I've been in a few bands where no one really had much in common except the band. The older I get, the more important it is for me to enjoy the company of my band mates. And at my age, I know I don't want to be the old guy at the kegger frat party, so to speak.

I'm the same way. I prefer a band that I have more in common with than just the music. Nothing makes me feel more out of place than playing in a band with folks young enough to be my kids. And, I don't want to be the grizzled old fart that tells "when I was your age" stories in order to tell them that they are being stupid about something. I have my kids for that

 

[SteveC]

There is something to be said for "the hang" as well as the rest. I have played with guys 10-15 years younger than me in a pop/cover band. No one would guess I'm that much older. I don't think I'd go much more than that - it'd be like I'm the dad. That's just my limit. Someone else might be totally fine with it.

Now jazz I think is a different ballgame. I think you can get away with much bigger gaps without getting any weird looks or whatever.

 

[jerry]

I'm 60, when I was young I played with older guys, now I play with mostly younger guys. If cats can do the gig, why not?

 

[shawshank72]

If they were an original band playing what I like then yes.
I've been turned down a few times for the exact opposite and it hurts.

 

[smeet]

As long as band-related goals and commitments don't conflict, I don't care how old my bandmates are. I'd play with Joey Alexander (11 I believe), and I'd play with Elvis or Miles if they were around, if schedules, goals, musical abilities and tastes matched up. Why does it matter? I've played with 55-year old children and professional 20-year olds.

 

[elgecko]

I play in a band where a couple of the guys are less than half my age. One gig was on the guitarist's 21st birthday. We all share common goals with regards to the band and there are no problems. We don't really hang out socially, it's a business arrangement.

 

[comatosedragon]

Personally, I would join a band of younger people. Mainly because I started late in life myself (I am 37)and younger players may be more wiling to deal with my inexperience. I lucked out and am the youngest in the 'band' I am in now (37,38,38,44). I feel that going forward, were I to join another band, it would almost certainly be younger players; by default.

 

[zontar]

It all depends on the goals of the band. If they were weekend warrior's just looking to play a few shows a month around my area, sure. If they were looking to "make it big", probably not.

Pretty much this--in fact earlier today I was playing with people who are younger than me--some significantly.
It's playing--it's fun.

 

[MrLenny1]

I would if they let me.
I've been to several auditions and been told "Dude, you're old."

 

[zontar]

I would if they let me.
I've been to several auditions and been told "Dude, you're old."

That's relative--wait until they get older...

 

[Bunk McNulty]

I'm now the oldest guy in all the bands I play with. The secret of my success: I have the mind of a child.

 

[AuBassMan]

The guys in one band I've been playing in are younger than me. I'm 56 and the lead and drummer are in their mid 20's and the singer/acoustic is early 30's. We have fun at gigs but don't hang out when we're not playing.

 

[EdwardofHuncote]

Absolutely. I spend most of my time gigging with kids now. (and chugging coffee to keep up)

Seriously, I'm in a band where the closest in age to me is still 17 years my junior... he's an incredibly gifted guitarist and singer, his wife is a brilliant songwriter and multi-instrumentalist, and the fourth band member is the oldest son of some of my best friends. I love running around with them playing music... keeps me young.

 

[SanDiegoHarry]

I have tried it. It didn't work out. Too many generational differences / methods of communication. I cannot abide dealing with people who cannot focus on a verbal conversation without twitching on their cell phone - so yeah, I tend to hang with musicians around my age.

 

[mr15x3]

As a twenty year old myself, I don't blame you in the slightest! Being that most of my cousins are 15-20 years or so older than me (some even older, my dad was the youngest in a family of 11) I mix in pretty well with an older crowd. My friends on the other hand, do not. Different upbringings and cultural influences can hugely impact whether people mesh or not.

 

[Mike N]

Myself, The drummer and guitar player in my band are all near 50, singer is 25.... wonder how she feels about that??

 

[DirtDog]

Let me ask you this: who do you hang out with when you're at your day job?

If its not the twenty-somethings, I think you made a good call.