You Know You Should Quit the Band When

[Delta_Petra]

When they call to tell you they want to practice only an hour before the time.

If you can't keep a serious set time for practice once a week, you don't have the commitment. And I am sorry I make plans to spend time with my wife and actually have a nice dinner instead of waiting by the phone for your call.

 

[mike.b]

when the 'tub thumper'sends you an text on another phone pretending to be someone else saying how good the drummer is and could he poach him?and when he's sussed out starts sending me abusive texts.or when the same tub thumper and 2 guitards personnally insults you at every opportunity.suffice to say i'm not with them no more.

 

[lorenk]

When you guitarist say that Pop punk is the best music ever....

lol what?! pop punk is one of the greatest...wait...no I take that back lol. its good, just not the greatest good

On a more serious and important note, I haven't quit this band, but we're heading towards some bad times with one of our best friends and members. The drummer tells us that he's heading towards alcoholism "because it runs in the family", routinely drives drunk, plays drunk (even though he's still pretty good), and is unfortunately probably heading for trouble. Doesn't help his whole family drinks, all his hillbilly loser friends drink and drive drunk, and won't listen to us about it.

As a recovering alcoholic myself (15 years in AA), he will hit rock bottom before he figures out that he needs help, and even then, he will only seek help only to silence those who make a fuss about his drinking. While alcoholism may be classed as a disease in some outlooks, it is a selfishness disorder first. Soon, his drinking will drive away everyone he knows and cares for, and he will not blame it on himself. There may be that pivoting moment in his life where suddenly he realizes what's wrong, and takes honest steps to correct it. It's almost a lose/lose situation, where if you don't tell him, he continues his fall, and if you do tell him, you may lose a drummer and a friend if he takes it to heart. I recently left a band and formed a new one because 2 of the members were severe substance abusers. One of them was a really good friend who kept on being pulled down by the other one, even though he was making an effort to improve his life. It was hard. I have a feeling he will lose a lot more before he decides that it is not worth it.

All I can say is that if you are good friends with him and you feel he can endure the rough times that may lay ahead for the both of you, then tell him and hope for the best. If not, then either find another drummer, or make your own band, because his drinking will get worse, and it will harm the reputation of the band and kill the fun.

+1

I've been the person who had a drinking problem. I wasn't in a band at the time, I was in college, and I wish I had avoided alcohol - I hurt a lot of people who I never wanted to hurt with my drinking and the things I did while drunk. I was lucky though, I had friends who helped me realize I was destroying my life and with the support of friends and family I worked through the issues that made me abuse alcohol.

If he is a friend, talk to him. The worst thing you can do it be silent! He might not want to hear it at that point in time, but if you let him know there are consequences for his actions it will hopefully be enough to open his eyes and seek ways to change his life. The quote from Boondock Saints, when the priest is talking about the murder of Kitty Genovese (a real case too) he says ". . . there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men" and I truly believe that. Hope this helped


back on topic:
When the drummer and guitarist tell you "we don't really need a bassist...but you can leave your amp here since we use it for [monitoring] vocals."
it was for an acoustic cover band in college :scowl:

 

[NWB]

In over 35 years of playing the bass guitar, never have I had someone else, anyone else touch my amp. :scowl:

And now they're asking me to come back and play with them. I like the lead guy well enough (go figure), but let the rhythm guy know that if he touches my amp, his arm comes off.

 

[Stinsok]

When your band empties a club and the other players just can't seem to figure out why.

 

[Korladis]

That's a good way to bring a quick end to your musical career since they'd end up pulling back a bloody stump with me.

Indeed. As bass players, it is our duty, to bass players everywhere, not to take crap when we don't have to. The more bassists who demand better treatment, the better we will all be treated.

 

[ChrisB2]

when your wife tells you, "sweetie, you gotta get outta that band."

true story... after our first gig... just last night.

i'll spare you the details, but she's right (as usual).

i am making the move today.

Id love to hear the details...

Yeah, me too

 

[reno88]

well, i just made the calls and spoke to the 2 other members. they were cool, as i knew they would be. i'm not going to throw rocks - glass houses and all that. but i am relieved.

on to the next!

 

[BoomSTICK]

You should quit a band when the lead singer thinks he's James Brown and is slamming down jagermeister shots, and reaches for his bullhorn as the main guitar player tips his hat in Homage
to Zakk Wylde.

 

[Darknut]

When the rest of the band wants to play Sweet Home Alabama

 

[Darko74]

when in the middle of a gig the singer throws a full beer in your face and you proceed to strangle him as you both colide into the drum kit.

 

[shadowmac]

When the guitarist's every damn sentence begins with the words, "that's not the way Van Halen would do it!"

Crimony Sakes!!! We weren't even playing Van Halen tunes!!!

 

[pringlw]

when in the middle of a gig the singer throws a full beer in your face and you proceed to strangle him as you both colide into the drum kit.

Didn't that happen on "This is Spinal Tap"?

 

[LazyZombie]

O.K. Some of this is going to sound pretty far fetched. But I use to be a punk in high school and college. Actually... these are pretty tame when it comes to some of my friends stories...

Four major band breakups.

You know you should quit the band when...

1. Every band practice ends with a fist fight ... usually because someone calls the other one a "poser." (We stayed together for a year.)

2. You go out for a smoke break and come back to your drummer and the guitarist having sex with your current girlfriend. Well... they did ask me to join in... to be fair.

3. Your Drummer has to quit the band because he broke both arms while punching a cops car while high, he bashed some windows and made some pretty big dents before the cops saw him. He got away... but moved back to his parents in Canada. heh.

4. Three shows in you realize that everyone in your band (Except me of course) is a white supremacist... (God, I was a dumb ass kid.)

 

[Punisher Bass]

When the guitarist's every damn sentence begins with the words, "that's not the way Van Halen would do it!"

Crimony Sakes!!! We weren't even playing Van Halen tunes!!!

No, the way Van Halen would do it is fire you and hire his 14 year old fat son to take your place.

 

[edhead]

When your band practices Sweet Home Alabama for 2 months before playing it out in public.

 

[anthowl]

...when the rest of the band needs a smoke break every 15 minutes and you don't smoke

been there.

 

[JohnnyPustular]

OK-- I think I have something fairly unique to contribute to this tread.

How about when your singer tells you that he has placed jars full of miraculous medals (a Catholic thing- those little silver medals that have saints on them) in the corners of the abandoned house that your band is squatting in. Why? So the house won't be blown off its foundation when the End Times come. Yes- it was a Christian heavy metal band and God personally asked the singer to put the band together.

 

[bassfrenzie]

...when it's break time and the guitar player beats the frontman to the mike and says:

"I'll be right back!"

 

[PBass101]

No, the way Van Halen would do it is fire you and hire his 14 year old fat son to take your place.

...when it's break time and the guitar player beats the frontman to the mike and says:

"I'll be right back!"

I lol'd.

Anyway, wow, it's amazing how much substance use and abuse people seem to deal with in this line of living. To his credit, our guitar player is probably the most concerned with the drummer (and his best friend's) alcohol issues, and with his having dealt with an alcoholic family member in the past, I'd like to say I feel confident that when we do decide to talk to said drummer, I won't be alone.

Now to convince guitarhead that bass is a real instrument that plays musical notes and just not sub-sonic rumbles.