You might be Prog if…

[Nick von Nick]

Only one of these has does not apply to yours truly. I'm curious to see if you can figure out which one...

1. Over multiple trips, you've carried the heaviest parts of Pat Mastelotto's drum kit up several flights of stairs
2. Your friend was flipping through your music collection and became overcome with glee after finding a copy of Script for a Jester's Tear.
3. You're an American who broke his leg in Europe whilst preparing to attend a post-rock/metal/prog festival.
4. You've tuned all your basses in perfect fifths to better approximate the Lydian Chromatic Concept and to escape the trap of bluesy riffs.
5. Tony Levin has started recognizing you at gigs.
6. You've owned multiple Chapman sticks and/or Warr Guitars.

~Nick von Nick

 

[castlev]

You own 1 turntable that you found free on the side of the road after a garage sale. It doesn't work. However it's proudly on display to impress your friends, even though it's not connected to a receiver or anything else. You also don't own any vinyl records. None of that matters though because your band mates don't know how a turntable works and they're too intimidated to ask you to fire it up in case you tell them go ahead, because they have no clue how it works either.

 

[FerK]

I can't believe this hasn't popped up yet:

- if dancing to one of your songs may lead to multiple sessions of physiotherapy

 

[jamro217]

At least three of the band members have cats.

 

[fourfinger]

If you have ever rejected potential lyrics because the words meant something

 

[fourfinger]

... if this reminds you of your pedalboard interface:

 

[swink]

... if ANYONE wears a cape or gown on-stage.

 

[5StringBlues]

Bootsy's from outer space.

 

[swink]

You wear a kimono on stage, but you're not Japanese...

 

[Fernando Costa]

...If you play like Chris Squire, Geddy Lee, John Wetton...

 

[squarepeg]

Collection of action figures like this-

View attachment 4571364

Curses! Foiled again!

 

[squarepeg]

At least three of the band members have cats.

At least three of the band members are cats.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Let's build a Jeff Foxworthy style list

You might be Prog if…

- you've put out a concept album

- any of your songs are longer than 7 minutes

What else?

- Your keyboardist occupies a 10x10' section of the stage.
- Even your bassist has to have some sort of additional synth or pedals for when he/she is playing another instrument as the keyboard player doesn't apparently have enough synths.
- You band has loud guitars but also one of: flute, oboe, french horn, hammered dulcimer.
- You create a piece in which the time signatures are based on the Fibonacci series, and the lyrics are about it or Pi (although that makes Kate Bush prog rock).
- 10% or more of your repertoire is sourced from classical, renaissance or jazz composers, or some combination of all three.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

-
- Some of your audience is wearing flared jeans

Or kaftans.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

- Your songs are so long they don't fit on one side of an LP and/or span different albums.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

You wear a kimono on stage, but you're not Japanese...

That reminds me that I've lost the belt to my kimono (and I am not even joking). Yes, I have worn it on stage.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

What you say sounds important, but no one knows what you mean.

Been on the receiving end of that.

 

[lark_z]

...listening to your music NEVER made a woman more physically receptive to men in her close proximity

 

[GoesThump]

- You have more former band members than you have current audience members.

- You've had at least one lawsuit about who owns the band name (a la Pink Floyd or Yes.)

 

[Bassique]

- Your favorite Beatles period is Sgt Pepper's and onwards.

- In your audience, the most movement you will see is someone folding their arms and occasionally some head nodding.