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You should smile!
- Thread starter Gopherbassist
- Start date
And I don't have people ask me to smile, I have people ask me if I have any ganja cause apparently I always looks stoned.
Well to start with, you should just look like you. People used to tell me I scowled too much, and I never could tell what the hell they were talking about, or what kind of a face I should be making.
I had a friend in college who had memorized a crazy mask in a museum by imitating its face. He could make this face on command, and it was a good one. It'd make anybody laugh. So you should memorize a ridiculous face you can make on command when a perfect stranger tells you what kind of face you aught to be making before getting to know who you are first.
I had a friend in college who had memorized a crazy mask in a museum by imitating its face. He could make this face on command, and it was a good one. It'd make anybody laugh. So you should memorize a ridiculous face you can make on command when a perfect stranger tells you what kind of face you aught to be making before getting to know who you are first.
On a somewhat regular basis I will have random strangers come up to me and tell me to smile.
The other day I had some old woman tell me that I am very hansom when I smile, but that I'm ugly with a frown on my face. I thought it was odd, and wondered when this random person that had never seen me before even had a chance to see me smile or frown. The interaction irritated me a little bit, but I just let it go. Last week I was at church and had some guy lecture me for 20 minutes about not smiling enough. Since TBers don't know, this is my face
That's just what it looks like. I don't consider myself a very emotive person. I smile, frown, scowl, or have a surprised look on my face when the occasion calls for it. Otherwise, I just have my regular, relaxed muscle, neutral face on that you see in the picture above.
Since this started, about 9 years ago, I've taken some time to observe people that I see walking around. Most people just look neutral, some have some kind of genuine emotion on their face based on what is occurring around them, but a small few I've seen with something very troubling to me: a fake smile.
As I've come to recognize fakes smiles, I've also come to the conclusion that they are vile ghastly things. I've come to recognize them by the fact that only the mouth of the person is smiling, and not their eyes, the part that really makes the smile.
This all makes me wonder why random people on the street tell me to smile, and has led me to the conclusion that I'd rather wear a real frown than a fake smile.
For those thinking tl;dr
What do you think of people telling other people to smile when they don't know that person's emotions? What are your thoughts on fake smiles?
first society gives me a fresh plate of bull **** that makes me want to drop someone to the ground like a sack of potatoes each day, then I get to hear another ************ tell me I should find something to smile about. kiss my ****!!$@*!!!!!!
If people were given the proper means of living to go about their lives, they wouldn't need infomercials out in public from people who are sad that life isn't like disneyland that they "need to smile".
Next time I hear "you need to smile more" I'll just say "you need to give me a couple hundred dollars!"
I say be yourself....BUT I suffer the same "problem" and it has caused me issues.
1) People at work
2) The Ladies
I used to manage an office of over 30 people where 20 of them were women. (***disclaimer, this is not sexist, this was reality). When I had my "normal face" on, I would actually make some of them cry because they seriously thought I was about to blow up on them. I had to make a concerted effort to change this. I didn't have a choice. It was like I had "bass face" all the time. Who wants to work with or be employed by that person?
Now, the ladies. I'm not saying to be fake. But if your natural face is brooding and dark and emotionless, you might be scaring them off. I was actually told this by a close friend that was a girl. She told to be "me", but to realize I needed my expression to be more inviting.
After a little focus on it, I was able to ensure my relaxed face was a little less intimidating and quit making my employees cry and had a little more luck with the ladies.
+1 to the idea of gettin' some and having a "real" smile
1) People at work
2) The Ladies
I used to manage an office of over 30 people where 20 of them were women. (***disclaimer, this is not sexist, this was reality). When I had my "normal face" on, I would actually make some of them cry because they seriously thought I was about to blow up on them. I had to make a concerted effort to change this. I didn't have a choice. It was like I had "bass face" all the time. Who wants to work with or be employed by that person?
Now, the ladies. I'm not saying to be fake. But if your natural face is brooding and dark and emotionless, you might be scaring them off. I was actually told this by a close friend that was a girl. She told to be "me", but to realize I needed my expression to be more inviting.
After a little focus on it, I was able to ensure my relaxed face was a little less intimidating and quit making my employees cry and had a little more luck with the ladies.
+1 to the idea of gettin' some and having a "real" smile
This raises a question that has occasionally crossed my mind: Is it a gender thing? I ask because my neutral face is not very smiley, and I have had a lot of guys walk up to me out of the blue and tell me that I need to smile. I have never been told this by another woman. Gals, has this happened to you, and guys, do you hear it from women, men, or both?
No, dont make up reasons to smile, just live your life with happiness and the smiles comes naturally.
Id venture to bet that some of these people who you think are "fake smiling" are showing their true emotions. Some people, despite adversity, can still maintain a positive attitude and are capable of being happy and smiley. Im going through a lot right now, myself, but I dont let that keep me from beeing happy and positive.
And I don't have people ask me to smile, I have people ask me if I have any ganja cause apparently I always looks stoned.
I am a wizard, which pretty much gives me cause to smile at any and every given moment. And if for some reason Im not smiling, I can make people think I am.
Funny enough, Ive always had this weird bounce to my step. One morning an older lady at work told me I was inspiring because I always seem like Im in a good mood, even when Im not.
WIZARDRY!
You dont need to smile if you dont want to, but after assessing numerous posts of yours I'd just like to say that I really hope you find some positivity in your life soon.
Back in the day when I had a much more negative outlook on life I was told more than a few times, always by women, that I should smile more. I took that as a consensus amongst the opposite sex. So yeah, it might be more of a gender or crossgender thing. In an instant I gained the perspective that the fairer sex had of me - that I was not a happy person. Thing was, I wasnt. It took some time and some tribulations for me to adjust my attitude, but I cant say that I regret it at all, in fact its improved my life dramatically.
you can assess as much as you like. And I was amping up some of my feelings specifically for that reply. But the fact is.....what good comes out of plasticifying your emotions? What good comes out of faking your feelings?
I'm used to doing it every day. Pick up the phone, "hi ____ how are you?" "wonderful" "great."
I used to have a bass player who played with Bowie early in his life. Drank himself all the way to slerosis of the liver from the fortune he made, and teaching children how to play music. Here's a rundown of how things went:
me: "hey ____ how are you?"
teacher: "****ing sucks!!"
Now, yea, if you're looking for odd looks and strange reactions, it probably works.
But I could respect him because he didn't try to mask it.
in this day and age, anyone who is going to tell me their lives are great and walk around with an ear to ear smile, I'm going to think they're looking for a raise.
Like it's said, honesty is the best policy
i get the same thing ... and it's usually people who don't know you who will say this. Sure they may have seen you a few times ... but they don't "know" you. They have probably never been in an environment where they would see you smile.
So what... your regular everyday face looks sad to them ... it's their perception... and opinion that you should smile.
Just give me a nod and say "acknowledged" kind of like Spock does in Star Trek.
So what... your regular everyday face looks sad to them ... it's their perception... and opinion that you should smile.
Just give me a nod and say "acknowledged" kind of like Spock does in Star Trek.
