Your Last Gig

[Hurricane Jimmie]

I have viewed myself as a musician for over 30 years now. How do you deal with the loss of identity? It isn't that identifying as a musician makes me special, gives me super powers, or a visible aura - however, it has always given me an internal sense of identity. A sense of belonging even - a tribe that I claim membership in.

So Anyway, I bowed out of my 60-gig/year bands when Covid hit. They were going to want to gig a lot sooner than I would be comfortable with it. It was a great for my situation... no late nights, good pay, no serious travel, and the bandmates were a great hang. I'd been with them for 15 years.

I thought I was done and was comfortable with it. But the identity thing really got me. I've been a gigging musician for 50 years and that was a hard adjustment for me. Fortunately, a couple of buddies called and I'm back working again in a little group with the same benefits.

But being off for a while really got me thinking about just playing music for fun again regardless of any gigs. I know someday it'll be my time to give it up. If I ever embarrassed myself or didn't get good offers, I would. Maybe when it's that time, I'll throw a party and give all my stuff away.

 

[jnewmark]

At age 74 I know it will be sooner rather than later. But, over the last 10 years or so, my gig schedule has been getting lighter and lighter to the point where I'm only gigging once or twice a month. So, its been a gradual acceptance of the coming end. I doubt I will cut it out completely, though, as long as I can physically still do it.

 

[TexasHeat]

I have a pathway out. I retire in another 3 or 4 years. (Might be 4 with the stock market the way it is). If my original band isn't working out the way I hope (I play guitar in that band), then I call it done, quit my cover band where I play bass and go buy the big sailboat. I'll still play, but probably won't gig.

If the original band gains some traction, then I will stay in the area, quit the cover band and put my focus on the original band. Either way, I'm gigging on bass for another 3 or 4 years. But you know how that goes....

OP, good luck, dude. My wife had the c-scare about 5 years ago. She's a champ and completely kicked its ass. The one huge lesson we learned was not to trust what the doctors tell ya!!! That is so huge. Shop around, don't go with the first one you meet. The first doc we met was ready to hack my wife to pieces to get the cancer out. We were shocked and clueless and believed every word she said and almost signed on the dotted line. Then we found an oncologist who knew what the heck she was doing and surgery was minimal. I don't believe in god, but I thanked him anyway.

Not looking to derail this thread, but just want to give you something to think about and some hope. Yeah man!!

 

[4Mal]

@J-Fev Wishing you the best possible outcome. And to echo some sentiment above. Never stop fighting.

 

[HardNHeavy]

may not gig as much as i like, or even have a band...but i'll ALWAYS pick that thing up and noodle around.

 

[Bass Man Dan]

I was out of music for a long time. I really didn't probably play an hour of bass total over the course of about 12-15 years or so, So I can imagine life without bass. But I have found you adjust and adapt through life. If somebody had told me my wife, who teaches third grade, was going to break her ankle last October and be on one leg or in a wheel chair for months, I wouldn't have known how we would cope. But we did.

 

[mongo2]

Nearly 4 years ago I suffered a minor stroke that messed with muy right side. The worst effedct was that I could had considerable difficulty reliably syncing my right hand motion with my left while playing and selecting the proper string to pluc with my right hand.

I was released from the hospital on a Thursday and I had a show scheduled for Saturday. Late Thrueday and all day Friday I practiced working to simplify my parts and improve the syncing with my left hand and select the proper string to pluck. I was able to play the show with a bit of difficulty but I was the only one who noticed. When I told my neurologist about it his jaw actually dropped in surprise.

I've made every show and rehearsal since but I still have issues with considerable discomfort when playing but my playing has improved to about 80% of where I was prior to the stroke. I still have some trouble with extended fast passages so I come up with a different way to do it and practice that old adage to think of what I want to play and play half of it.

Since the stroke I've often considered if I was was done playing but each time I did I couldn't imagine what it would be like not to play music as I have for over 60 years so I keep pluggin'.

Best of luck to you.

 

[ceetee]

I have viewed myself as a musician for over 30 years now. How do you deal with the loss of identity? It isn't that identifying as a musician makes me special, gives me super powers, or a visible aura - however, it has always given me an internal sense of identity. A sense of belonging even - a tribe that I claim membership in.

You never know by what means you will be making music!

 

[Davebass77]

@J-Fev - Sending positive thoughts your way. You can make it through! On a similar note about stopping, I've got to stop playing live for the next 2 months because my 2nd knee replacement happens on Tuesday. Good news is I set up my music room as my recovery room, so I will play bass there every day. As soon as I can stand (more or less) I'll start looking for another band. You got this!!

 

[bass12]

I have viewed myself as a musician for over 30 years now. How do you deal with the loss of identity? It isn't that identifying as a musician makes me special, gives me super powers, or a visible aura - however, it has always given me an internal sense of identity. A sense of belonging even - a tribe that I claim membership in.

As a musician (and as a person) you’re not just a product of what you’re currently doing, but a product of all the things you’ve done in the past. Not gigging - or not playing at a given point - doesn’t mean you have to erase that “musician” part of your identity. But I understand your line of thinking. I’d just try to concentrate on how all of your musical experiences have helped form you - and to be grateful that you have had all of these amazing experiences that most people have not.

 

[57pbass]

This is my mantra..Until the wheels fall off !

 

[Dincrest]

I left a gigging/touring band in 2015 not only because my dad was dying but because I was burnt out. I was sick and tired of dragging my carcass home at 4AM every weekend with a backache. I then stopped playing completely because I wanted nothing to do with that life or that identity. This lasted for 2 years.

Then in 2017 a gentleman in my bicycling club approached me about playing bass on some songs he recorded and I was back in. We're both older and want to continue playing music, but not do the whole gigging/touring thing. A drummer I'm friends with is with us now too and he's on the same page.

So I'm back in, but more-or-less back in at a pace I can handle. In fact, I want to do more than what I'm currently doing. Do I want to do summer camping festival tours and gig every weekend? No. But I wouldn't be opposed to playing out once every couple of months or so. And my current project is more focused on the recording/songwriting aspect of it, so I feel like that's allowing me to patiently explore the "semi-venerable musician" side of me rather than the "rock star" side. (I'm 44 so I don't think I'm old enough to be venerable yet).

And if it counts as a gig, my last gigs were jamming for the special ed students I teach: "Gig" report (if you can even call this a gig...)

You never know where life will take you. But I'm just glad that even during the several years-long periods I stopped playing bass, it was always waiting for me and took me back with open arms. I can't live my life without playing music.

 

[Matt R.]

I’d rather die first

 

[JazznFunk]

I think we all had some vision/sense of this when the pandemic hit and live music was paused for quite a while.... it put things into major perspective. I don't gig nearly as much as I used to, and despise the meat grinder that is 'the road', so physically I hope to be able to play the 'long game' and keep gigging in some capacity until I physically cannot anymore. As a composer and recording engineer, I feel like I'll be able to still continue to make music even after my gigging days may be over.... and that's comforting in its own way.

As Kenny Werner stated in 'Effortless Mastery', we must find a stable sense of self outside of our playing, and our identity as musicians. We are humans first, musicians second.

 

[rumblesaust]

Looking at some big C issues. That is all I want to say. See you on the flip side.

Me too. Good luck to us both.

 

[wheelsup247]

How do you approach it with grace and courage?

The talent, approach, and grace Tony Bennett showed in “One Last Time: An evening with Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga” was phenomenal to me. And the guys in his band…wow.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

Have you ever contemplated that someday you will put your bass down and never pick it up again? That you will never play another note? Is that a phantom of the grey future that you have been unwilling gaze directly at?

I have found my vision fixed on that specter as of late. How do you approach it with grace and courage?

I'll be 70 at the end of the year. I have a couple of arthritic issues in my hands that limits me on guitar, not on the bass but occasionally, I get a "Tweak" thumping it out. Eventually that will be the end.

I can still play at a fairly high level but opportunities to play are dwindling by the day. Further, a lot of popular music being produced to day don't seem to have real interesting bass parts. The audience for the type of music I play and grew up with is dying off. My musical colleagues are either droping out or dying off.

I really don't want to go out playing disco until either that audience croaks or I do....

How do I face it?? "To every thing turn turn turn. There is a season." At almost age 70, I've changed through a lot of them and survived. You just roll with it. Life is good.

 

[Rip Van Dan]

Have you ever contemplated that someday you will put your bass down and never pick it up again? That you will never play another note? Is that a phantom of the grey future that you have been unwilling gaze directly at?

I have found my vision fixed on that specter as of late. How do you approach it with grace and courage?

That's a scary thought and NO! I have not contemplated that and I don't expect to. I thought of myself as a musician from the time I was about 14 until I was 26 when all my gear was stolen. So then I stopped being both a bass player and a musician. Then I got a 12 string for Christmas and continued on feeling like a musician again. Then, in 1985 when I managed to replace my stolen '65 Jazz with a 1982 Jazz that had the same neck profile, shape, and radius on it. Then I became a bass player again as well as a musician. At age 71, I continue to do both and expect to keep being both...especially since I have such great gear now!!!

You can have my '82 Jazz Bass
when you can pry it from
my COLD DEAD HANDS!

(Actually, you can't. I'm leaving it to my son in my will...)​

 

[Stewie]

Best of luck fighting back Sir. It is occasionally painful to play upright(tendinitis, cramps et.c)
When I know it’s gonna be a bad night, I bring a P bass. Usually it only comes off the stand for the last half, last set.
I know I won’t be able to play the big bass forever, but the Fenders, I just might.

 

[jza57]

J-Fev , I feel your pain I literally feel your pain , I am on the same cruise ship as you and have just started to play out again . I left my band of 12 yrs in January to address my complications and have righted the ship to a certain extent. My last 2 pick up gigs were trainwrecks and I told myself that I will not go out on a low note. And so I am going to crawl my way back to some sort of professionalism and go out scratching and fighting. Don't get the wrong idea I am not bed ridden but I know my prime time is over but I love playing and I will go out on a high note. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can play as much as possible. TB Brother Jesse