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12 Things Bassists Hate

#61
I just focus on the music, play my bass, and generally disregard the things found on that list.

Except for oatmeal. I hate oatmeal. But I still eat it fairly regulary. Because it's (supposedly) good for you.

There's worse things in the world.
 
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#63
1. Who buys bass strings? They last 20 years or so. Yeah, I like thump.
2. Butts in the audience appreciate the bass. Without bass, humans wouldn't reproduce. With bass, even ugly humans can reproduce. That's power, baby! BWAHAHAHAHA!
3. Dumb puns are bad no matter what. That meme is no worse than some of the dumb puns that are crossword puzzle clues.
4. I wear a shiny polyester shirt and play a Thunderbird. I'm also completely type A. We can dismiss 3. No taste? Perhaps. Laid back and boring? Not so much.
5. My amp may be heavier, but it's bigger than any guitar amp, too. Gotta have the visuals that only an Acoustic Control stack can provide. Plus, it cracks concrete and makes people puke if I want.
6. We don't need no stinkin' bass section. We got TB classifieds and Reverb for GAS attacks.
7. OK, I'll concede one. Kinda. If the rhythm guitarist is prone to rushing and can't count, it's a problem. Otherwise, it's just treble and therefore just as easy to ignore as any other irrelevant fluff.
8. See above. Guitarists and other treble stuff don't matter.
9. Hand 'em an upright bass. That's easy to play, right? Nobody asks to play the upright, either.
10. The only time I have even come close to bloody fingertips is playing rockabilly slap triplets on the upright for about three hours straight. That caused a blood blister that turned into a great hooked callous.
11. My amp holds its own. What's worse than the sound guy turning down the bass is when the sound guy keeps turning it up and the entire room turns into sonic mud.
12. Drummers? I play drums sometimes. The clown filling the air with fills is probably me on occasion.

So, there you have it. There should only be one thing on the list - Tuna Noodle Casserole.
 
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#65
You forgot the part where the keys or guitar has their bass up too much and then they point to you and say your bass is too loud, even when you turn your volume off (and play AIR Bass). And when you tell them it was off they don't believe you.
 
#66
I've been in maybe eight different bands in my life, and only once have I played with a guitarist who did not know what key he was playing in. He was a shredder who came up with some very cool riffs -- and could play circles around my mediocre guitar skills -- but if you asked him 'we're a bit out of tune, can you give me a D' -- he'd have to look at his guitar and count the strings up to remember which one was the D string.
 
#70
capnsandwich said:
How accurate is this article to you? I can totally relate to most.

12 Things All Bassists Hate - Rock My World
Click to expand...

here are the ones that are false:

#5: Bass amps are inevitably way heavier than guitar amps.

No, my Class D ShuttleMax 12 and Aguilar cabs are NOT heavier than my guitarist's tube amps and cabinets. Also, my 2x12" feels like it was designed with more ergonomic handles and casters. Keyboard amps are inevitably the most annoyingly heavy.

#9: Everyone assumes bass is easier to play

This is somewhat true, but the sentence "Though the bass is easier to pick up the learning curve is much steeper" makes no sense. Ease of picking up IS the learning curve. Both bass and guitar are easier to pick up than upright bass or bagpipes, so waaah. And on bass, few people are disparaging a player that is doing his job well by saying "well he's no Les Claypool". Meanwhile a guitarist can be fantastic and will still get hit by snobs saying "Well he's no Buckethead/Misha/Tobin" (if they like shred) or "Well he's no Hendrix/Gilmour" (if they like 'feel players') etc. etc. So by that I conclude that people are more easily impressed by a good bassist than by a good guitarist.

#10: Bloody fingertips

I can't remember the last time I had bloody fingertips, and I use rounds. But if I pick up my acoustic guitar after awhile, the strings hurt because the thinner strings slice into my callouses. This is another one for the whaaambulance. Back in the early 20th century, upright bass players competed for volume with big bands, and were playing unmicced pizz with gut strings trying to keep up with drums, trumpets, saxes, etc. Back then, everyone could tell a bassist ON SIGHT because of their terrible-looking hands!

__________________

The one about guitarists not having a clue what key they are in is funny, especially now that they play in so many different tunings. To them, the 3rd fret is 'G' even if they are drop-tuned or whatever.
 
#71
gln1955 said:
Specifically, they hate other bass players who:

Play cheap basses
Play expensive basses
Play Fenders
Don't play Fenders
Use tube amps
Use SS amps
Play with a pick
Play fingerstyle
Slap
Use flats
Use rounds
Play 4 string basses
Play 5 string basses
Play 6 string basses
Play (God help 'em) >6 string basses
...
Click to expand...

I have two to add....using a fretless on a cover's song which didn't.
Playing an unlined fretless...that's for weirdos and show offs.
 
#73
The Funkapotamus said:
My pet peeve is when you see an ad for a guitarist looking for a band that says he "can also play the bass" if you have the equipment for him to use.
Yeah buddy... You can play it... Like It's a guitar.
You can steer a car with your feet. That doesn't mean it's to be done.
Click to expand...

Most "true" bassists I know seem to be really on their game...they turn up on time. Bring a spare battery, spare strap, spare lead and even a music stand if required. Most guitarists and guitarists who play bass seem to turn up not knowing where their plectrum is....over anything else for that matter. I mean....what Bassist would even consider turning up to a gig or practice without a strap? My worship band hired a professional guitarist for one or two sessions....my goodness he could play....and he professionally left his strap, cable and music all at home....yeah....very....professional....
 
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#75
capnsandwich said:
I've always heard that bass is one of the easiest instruments to start on but one of the hardest to master. I can see that. So many different styles, techniques, etc., and the role of the bassist is one that requires a totally different way of thinking than a guitar or other lead instruments.
Click to expand...

Here's my counterargument:

As a bassist, I play classical, jazz, metal, rock, blues, funk, etc. etc. etc. Because I can.

A guitarist gives up because it seems too difficult. There are so many different styles, techniques, etc. that a guitarist that is good at jazz might be completely at sea playing metal or country or flamenco and a metal guitarist might be completely lost playing funk or blues or jazz, and the list goes on. A guitarist like Mike Keneally that can play multiple genres well is much more rare than a bassist that can play root-fifths in C&W AND latin jazz AND polkas.

I was at a clinic with trumpet virtuoso Arturo Sandoval once and he said that he viewed music like a yardstick: if you master classical music you master an inch, if you master bebop you have mastered this other inch over here, if you master the blues you've mastered a third inch, and so on. This from a guy who performed later that night and showed that he could also play piano and percussion masterfully!

The punch line is that a semi-famous jazz guitarist (college faculty) was in the crowd and he got up and stomped out of the room when Arturo made this comparison. Why? He was upset that all of his skills had just been reduced to one measly inch! Arturo was amused: "It's OK, he doesn't need to know this - he's a guitarist"
 
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#80
Mr Gaston said:
You are obviously not putting enough sugar and butter in your oatmeal.
Click to expand...

Probably. Never thought to do butter. I'm not too big on sugar though. Found a little cinnamon and a bit of brown sugar (not as sweet) seems to at least allow me to get it down. I'll definitely give some butter a try. It works great on grits - which I do like. Any port in a storm right? Thx for the tip. :thumbsup:
 

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