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36 Cheap American Beers, Ranked
- Thread starter CrewsControl
- Start date
Not all are available in my area or I would be. I was once a broke High School student that would drink whatever beer I could get my hands on.
Is it wrong to say that I've already started writing a "36 least worst cheap beers of Ontario" list just because of this post? Should I post it here?
Alright, I just finished writing up my list of 36 cheap beers of Ontario! To be honest, I nearly ran out, and I used some brands that are brewed in and originated from the US, but simply imported or contract brewed here as well. For the most part, they are specified as such. Keep in mind, that I don't get too descriptive about flavours, partly because I'm not a comedy writer, also partly because I'm tired and it's been a long couple of days, give me a break. I'm going to the beer store to perhaps grab some boxer ice and drink it in the shower. Here's the list:
36 "least worst" Canadian (or at least Ontarian) brands of beers. Selected specifically from this link ( http://www.thebeerstore.ca/beers/discount ), and available primarily in Ontario. Tasting
notes and such are based on the last time I've tried them and are in no particular order. I'm in university, and while I certainly prefer good beer, I'm offered a lot of stuff, and sometimes you're just plain broke, so I try a lot of stuff:
1) Upper Canada Dark Ale - mostly chocolatey and roastey notes, not great, but good beer, definitely serviceable, but one-dimensional.
2) Red Cap - grainy, a bit of bitterness, but mostly grains. Palatable, and in ways tasty.
3) Laker Honey - corny beer with some honey notes, sweeter than most beers, innoffensive but not really much of a "beer"
4) Old Millwaukee - Okay, technically these beers are from the US, but they're contract brewed by sleeman's in guelph, so they're technicalities.
5) PBR - again, technically a US brand, but contract brewed in guelph, so I'm using it as a technicality. Serviceable pale fizzy lager, tastes like corn.
6) Red Baron - virtually undrinkable, you'd be hard-pressed to choke it down with its vaguely bitter but not good bitter as if it had hops in it, if you do have it, see if you can get it with a lime.
7) Brava - basically the same as Red Baron, they're both sort of Corona knockoffs in clear bottles, this one however is kindof grainy, but not in a biscuity or sweet way, it makes me think of horse feed, maybe stick a lime wedge in it?
8) Old Style Pilsner - A molson offering, formerly only available in saskatchewan, seen on the show Corner Gas. That said, it's one of the better beers on this list, grainy and biscuity, more like the way some other molson offerings should taste, but don't.
9) Carling lager - tastes like cheap flavourless beer, but with some oddly rank flavour that would imply that somebody dropped their jock-strap into the fermentation tank and forgot it there. Also a molson offering, at the same price, go for old style.
10) Laker Lager - seems to vary in terms of quality, sometimes it's reminiscent of piss, sometimes it's a drinkable beer for those hot days, tread with caution, or play it safer with laker honey or red cap - they're all brick brands.
11) Laker Ice - like any "ice beer", avoid it, it's practically undrinkable, unless somebody burned off your tastebuds with a soldering iron.
12) Blue - I can't drink the stuff, to me it's has odd notes of watered down urine, but I know a lot of people that seem to think it's good. It also gives you major beer breath, more so than other cheap beers, I don't really like it, but it sells well.
13) James Ready 5.5 - 5.5% ABV pale fizzy lager, not too bad, but not all that great either.
14) James Ready 6.0 - Oh hey look, it's the big brother to JR 5.5, basically the saem deal, these guys sell their beers based mostly on low-pricepoint and slightly higher alcohol than their mostly 5.0% brethren, and are named to reflect that.
15) Keystone Lager - Another Molson offering, also an American brand that just happens to be brewed here, more consistently decent than Laker, but still not quite as good as old style.
16) Lakeport Pilsener- Another Labbatt's brew, it tastes like trailer parks and broken dreams, try to pass on this one.
17) Lakeport Honey - most of these generic beer lines have a "honey" version and a "red" version, if you see it, try going for it, because they're usually at least drinkable in comparison to their more "standard" beers.
18) Steeler Lager - Known for coming in big 950 ml cans, that's about a quart/a litre for those of you in the US, not very good, but it's always there for you after you've had a few of something better, and it's in big cans if you like that sort of thing.
19) Busch - another US brand, but again, they decided to have it brewed over here by labatts, who are owned by anheuser busch, not really worht drinking, nothing special, tastes like crappy cheap beer.
20) Red Baron Light - it's like red baron, only drinkable. In this pricepoint, it seems like light beer is a good way to go, because it will assure that you won't be gagging as you swallow it, it'll basically be water.
21) Laker light - same as above.
22) Carling light - again, same as above.
23) Lakeport light - got the idea yet? they all taste basically the same, like water. If you know somebody that drinks coors light, might as well get something cheaper, it all tastes the same.
24) Red Bull - not too bad, grainy, bready, that's about it, and 5.5% to boot, if that sort of thing makes a difference to you.
25) Trailhead - at 20 bucks a 12-pack, I'm not sure how it's a "budget" beer, but then, all of our beer is pretty expensive compared to what some in other places would consider, that being said, there's better "cheap" offerings out there, wellington knocks it out of the park with some of their other brews, but this is pointless.
26) Maclays Traditional Pale Ale - apparently based on a recipe from scotland, contract brewed by sleeman's in guelph. Don't believe the term "pale ale", it's just an average macro lager. Not bad, just not a pale ale by any terms.
27) PC Cervesa and Pilsener - this stuff rarely sells, and is therefore usually stale, if you can find it fresh, go for it 'cause it's not bad, but usually it's worth avoiding.
28) Boxer Ice - Another US brand, this one is actually made there though, I did the math, and for the price boxer Ice is going to be the cheapest buzz you can get at the beer store, but it's trash beer anyways, avoid it like the plague unless you want to drink it in the shower.
29) Boxer Lager - prettymuch the same as boxer ice in that it is the cheapest and US made, but it's got some interesting "grape crush" and bubblegum flavours to it sometimes. Not "good", but less bad than most of the swill on this list.
30) Labatt Max Ice - stuff that comes in 40 oz bottles, or 1.18 litre bottles, whatever, it's trash, tastes reminiscent of gasoline and broken dreams. I guess if you MUST be cheap adn drink from a big bottle, yeah, go with this.
31) Molson Black Ice - prettymuch the same deal as max ice, though less gasoline and a bit sweeter, pick this over max ice, but not over anything else.
32) Red Baron Lime - it's a lime flavoured light beer, it tastes like watered down generic lime flavoured pop, same price as mose 24s of cheap beer, but it doesn't taste like beer.
33) Formosa Premium Draft - drinkable pale fizzy lager, tastes like grains and bread, and a bit sweet.
34) Cool Beer Lager - tastes like actual beer with some malt and trace amounts of hop flavour, I'd say this is probably the best of the cheap stuff.
35) Lakeport Ice - Not too bad for an ice beer, but still swill that's hard to swallow.
36) Carling LIght - it's basically water, like any light beer. if Carling were a half decent lager it would be a bad thing, but Carling lager isn't, so Carling light is preferable in terms of flavour, unless that 1% really means that much to you.
36 "least worst" Canadian (or at least Ontarian) brands of beers. Selected specifically from this link ( http://www.thebeerstore.ca/beers/discount ), and available primarily in Ontario. Tasting
notes and such are based on the last time I've tried them and are in no particular order. I'm in university, and while I certainly prefer good beer, I'm offered a lot of stuff, and sometimes you're just plain broke, so I try a lot of stuff:
1) Upper Canada Dark Ale - mostly chocolatey and roastey notes, not great, but good beer, definitely serviceable, but one-dimensional.
2) Red Cap - grainy, a bit of bitterness, but mostly grains. Palatable, and in ways tasty.
3) Laker Honey - corny beer with some honey notes, sweeter than most beers, innoffensive but not really much of a "beer"
4) Old Millwaukee - Okay, technically these beers are from the US, but they're contract brewed by sleeman's in guelph, so they're technicalities.
5) PBR - again, technically a US brand, but contract brewed in guelph, so I'm using it as a technicality. Serviceable pale fizzy lager, tastes like corn.
6) Red Baron - virtually undrinkable, you'd be hard-pressed to choke it down with its vaguely bitter but not good bitter as if it had hops in it, if you do have it, see if you can get it with a lime.
7) Brava - basically the same as Red Baron, they're both sort of Corona knockoffs in clear bottles, this one however is kindof grainy, but not in a biscuity or sweet way, it makes me think of horse feed, maybe stick a lime wedge in it?
8) Old Style Pilsner - A molson offering, formerly only available in saskatchewan, seen on the show Corner Gas. That said, it's one of the better beers on this list, grainy and biscuity, more like the way some other molson offerings should taste, but don't.
9) Carling lager - tastes like cheap flavourless beer, but with some oddly rank flavour that would imply that somebody dropped their jock-strap into the fermentation tank and forgot it there. Also a molson offering, at the same price, go for old style.
10) Laker Lager - seems to vary in terms of quality, sometimes it's reminiscent of piss, sometimes it's a drinkable beer for those hot days, tread with caution, or play it safer with laker honey or red cap - they're all brick brands.
11) Laker Ice - like any "ice beer", avoid it, it's practically undrinkable, unless somebody burned off your tastebuds with a soldering iron.
12) Blue - I can't drink the stuff, to me it's has odd notes of watered down urine, but I know a lot of people that seem to think it's good. It also gives you major beer breath, more so than other cheap beers, I don't really like it, but it sells well.
13) James Ready 5.5 - 5.5% ABV pale fizzy lager, not too bad, but not all that great either.
14) James Ready 6.0 - Oh hey look, it's the big brother to JR 5.5, basically the saem deal, these guys sell their beers based mostly on low-pricepoint and slightly higher alcohol than their mostly 5.0% brethren, and are named to reflect that.
15) Keystone Lager - Another Molson offering, also an American brand that just happens to be brewed here, more consistently decent than Laker, but still not quite as good as old style.
16) Lakeport Pilsener- Another Labbatt's brew, it tastes like trailer parks and broken dreams, try to pass on this one.
17) Lakeport Honey - most of these generic beer lines have a "honey" version and a "red" version, if you see it, try going for it, because they're usually at least drinkable in comparison to their more "standard" beers.
18) Steeler Lager - Known for coming in big 950 ml cans, that's about a quart/a litre for those of you in the US, not very good, but it's always there for you after you've had a few of something better, and it's in big cans if you like that sort of thing.
19) Busch - another US brand, but again, they decided to have it brewed over here by labatts, who are owned by anheuser busch, not really worht drinking, nothing special, tastes like crappy cheap beer.
20) Red Baron Light - it's like red baron, only drinkable. In this pricepoint, it seems like light beer is a good way to go, because it will assure that you won't be gagging as you swallow it, it'll basically be water.
21) Laker light - same as above.
22) Carling light - again, same as above.
23) Lakeport light - got the idea yet? they all taste basically the same, like water. If you know somebody that drinks coors light, might as well get something cheaper, it all tastes the same.
24) Red Bull - not too bad, grainy, bready, that's about it, and 5.5% to boot, if that sort of thing makes a difference to you.
25) Trailhead - at 20 bucks a 12-pack, I'm not sure how it's a "budget" beer, but then, all of our beer is pretty expensive compared to what some in other places would consider, that being said, there's better "cheap" offerings out there, wellington knocks it out of the park with some of their other brews, but this is pointless.
26) Maclays Traditional Pale Ale - apparently based on a recipe from scotland, contract brewed by sleeman's in guelph. Don't believe the term "pale ale", it's just an average macro lager. Not bad, just not a pale ale by any terms.
27) PC Cervesa and Pilsener - this stuff rarely sells, and is therefore usually stale, if you can find it fresh, go for it 'cause it's not bad, but usually it's worth avoiding.
28) Boxer Ice - Another US brand, this one is actually made there though, I did the math, and for the price boxer Ice is going to be the cheapest buzz you can get at the beer store, but it's trash beer anyways, avoid it like the plague unless you want to drink it in the shower.
29) Boxer Lager - prettymuch the same as boxer ice in that it is the cheapest and US made, but it's got some interesting "grape crush" and bubblegum flavours to it sometimes. Not "good", but less bad than most of the swill on this list.
30) Labatt Max Ice - stuff that comes in 40 oz bottles, or 1.18 litre bottles, whatever, it's trash, tastes reminiscent of gasoline and broken dreams. I guess if you MUST be cheap adn drink from a big bottle, yeah, go with this.
31) Molson Black Ice - prettymuch the same deal as max ice, though less gasoline and a bit sweeter, pick this over max ice, but not over anything else.
32) Red Baron Lime - it's a lime flavoured light beer, it tastes like watered down generic lime flavoured pop, same price as mose 24s of cheap beer, but it doesn't taste like beer.
33) Formosa Premium Draft - drinkable pale fizzy lager, tastes like grains and bread, and a bit sweet.
34) Cool Beer Lager - tastes like actual beer with some malt and trace amounts of hop flavour, I'd say this is probably the best of the cheap stuff.
35) Lakeport Ice - Not too bad for an ice beer, but still swill that's hard to swallow.
36) Carling LIght - it's basically water, like any light beer. if Carling were a half decent lager it would be a bad thing, but Carling lager isn't, so Carling light is preferable in terms of flavour, unless that 1% really means that much to you.
