A Bad Joke

[Vanceman]

Why is a pool table green?

You would be green too if everyone knocked your balls around.

 

[Vanceman]

Ive been trying to write a new joke. I need some help. It goes something like this:

A guy walks into a bar with [something] under his arm, and a chicken sticking his head out of the zipper of the man's pants. The bartender says "What up with the [something]?". And the chicken says ....

I know, it's stupid, but humor me. What's under the man's arm, and what does the chicken say?

 

[kcole4001]

Ive been trying to write a new joke. I need some help. It goes something like this:

A guy walks into a bar with [something] under his arm, and a chicken sticking his head out of the zipper of the man's pants. The bartender says "What up with the [something]?". And the chicken says ....

I know, it's stupid, but humor me. What's under the man's arm, and what does the chicken say?

How about:
["pig",]
and ["the pig wouldn't fit in the pants"].
Still doesn't make much sense.

 

[kcole4001]

Here's a favorite:

 

[Drunk Heffalump]

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? There making headlines............

 

[Drunk Heffalump]

Here's one you've not heard

An Irishman leaves a bar.....





PS: Of Irish decent boyo so put down those pitchforks and flaming torches...

 

[PlatypusBassist]

What's brown and sticky?....... A stick

 

[nick98338]

[Returning from break]... guitar player says to bass player... "during the break, I was in the men's room, and there was a guy pouring a beer, a full beer, straight into the urinal". Bass player says... "why did he do that?" Guitar player says... "he said he was tired of being the middle man"

 

[Jim Nazium]

Did you hear about the girl who backed into the meat slicer?
Disaster.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino.

 

[GLEN18INCHSPICA]

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? The drummer.

 

[David Jayne]

Did you hear about the girl who backed into the meat slicer?
Disaster.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino.

Applause.

What do you get if a piano falls on a coal worker?

Abm

 

[jamro217]

How can you tell when a drummer is knocking at your door? He speeds up.

 

[Feral Feline]

What's the difference between an orange?
Firetruck, because vests don't have sleeves.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish

 

[Feral Feline]

Q: How did you get the black eye?

A: Stood up to sing a hymn in church and the woman in the pew ahead had her dress stuck up her butt, so I reached over and pulled it out. Whammo!

Q: Ouch! But what about your other orb, how'd you get the other black eye?

A: Well, I figured if that's how she wanted it I'd tuck it back in the way I found it.

 

[gaudenti]

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

 

[jaibeau]

One my favorites is like this: I'd like to tell you all a little about my background. *then you turn around and start describing everything behind you.*

Hahahaha, I'm using this-

 

[pflash4001]

How can you tell when a drummer is knocking at your door? He speeds up.

How do you know your lead singer is knocking at the door?

He has the key, but doesn't know when to come in.

 

[lowfreq33]

What's the difference between a musician and a savings bond?

A savings bond eventually matures and earns money.

 

[pflash4001]

Courtesy of my 10 year old son, Christian...

How is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

You'll B flat if you don't C Sharp!

 

[PlatypusBassist]

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?..... 20. 1 to actually change the lightbulb and 19 others to tell him how much better Neil Peart would have done it