How long have you been married? Once you have heard each other's stories 3 or 4 times she'll probably be as happy you practicing your bass as you are.
3 years... Not quite there yet, LOL.
The problem, which I only really realized over the weekend, is that I've always been a bit of an introvert. When I was in my teens, I would often lock myself in my room with a computer and spent a lot of time writing computer programs, building video game levels, designing websites, making animations, and using sequencer software to compose music. Friends would call me to do stuff, and I would some of the time, but a lot of the time I would purposely stay in and work towards whatever creative outlet was important to me at the moment.
Don't get me wrong, I did always know that I spent a lot of time isolated as a teen. I didn't have a lot of friends as a child and just kind of thought I developed the habit to cope (only rely on myself for entertainment sort of a thing). However, what I realized this weekend was that it is a trait I learned from my mom, and I actually think I create objectives that I worry/obsess about that build up in my mind, to the point that I can't be calm unless I'm working towards the objective.
However, I met my wife and a lot of that changed. I wanted to go out with her more than I wanted to stay in, but practicing bass or learning more about it was always a priority, just a lesser one.
The last few months have been rough for us though. We've lost a significant amount of income and have had to pretty much cut all of our going out time, because there aren't many activities that I can think of that are completely free.
As a result, I come home, we'll eat dinner together, and she'll resort to watching TV (usually programs I cannot tolerate to watch) and I'll go the music room, and we'll reconvene to get ready for bed.
I think as I seperated myself from her more and more, the musical and gear objectives I create, have grown larger and stronger and they totally consumed me and my time.
I found out this weekend that she feels completely ignored and neglected, and I totally agree with her and feel horrible. I didn't really realize what I was doing.
The goal now is to find stuff we can do together, that we both like to do, and can afford to do. I also need to try to understand how I can balance this time with bass playing... I'll definitely need to cut down on my TB time. A strict hour a day, strictly playing, I don't think will be too hurtful, but I'm curious what others think/do. Maybe an hour a day is too much when we really only have 5 hours or so we can actually spend together.
