Adult ADD - any sufferers here?

[G.Bisson]

I've often wondered if I had some mild autism or Asperger's but I'm too social to be able to claim any of that. I've always been a popular guy and outgoing, which is not a trait that most Asperger's or autism sufferers have in usual cases.

This reminds me of something I've pondered many times,
At what point does a behavioral characteristic become a medical disorder?

I had always attritubed my quirks as falling within the norm of the introspective behavior type. Then I learned about Aspergers and was shocked that such behaviors could be considered symptoms of a disease. Although I was different, I never thought of myself as having a disorder. My behavioral 'quirks' are manageable enough that I have never sought out treatment or drug threapy. Instead, I try to soak up as much knowledge as possibly to learn adaptive techniques. I have read many many books on social behaviors, conflict resolution, confidence & assertiveness training, and business success skills. Within those books I have found gems of knowledge that have helped my improve upon behaviors that may be viewed as a disorder in the eyes of a psychoanalysts.

As much as my job drives me crazy, it has been a great place to practice and improve upon behavior quirks in a supportive professional enviroment. Afterall, most of the people who work in an office are crazy in some way already .

 

[chuck norriss]

Adult DVD? Yes I would like an adult dvd. Thanks!

 

[MatticusMania]

Adult DVD? Yes I would like an adult dvd. Thanks!

Thats what I keep seeing too. In fact, its why I came in the thread at all.

Ba dum pssh

 

[relwof]

It was a deeper investigation than that.

Having said that, in Canada, we don't pay for appointments or consultations. However, the flipside of that is that we're oftentimes referred to people who aren't exactly top experts in their field. I could spend years chasing shrink after shrink and be no closer to a miracle cure and I personally doubt there is one. Bottom line ; this is most likely the very best possible outcome for me, considering the circumstances.

I've come to grasp with the fact that I'll be at a disadvantage to others when it comes to learning highly technical material and thus have learned to work harder to get the same results... which is frustrating. However, at least with this current drug, I'm able to not drift into a deep sleep while reading or attending meetings/classes. That alone has made a big difference.

I've always been pretty good at learning highly technical material, because I find it interesting. However, I learn primarily through self-guided research and experimentation, and I love reading. Sitting through meetings and lectures, unless they are highly interactive, has always been very difficult for me, with or without medication.

I'm glad you were able to have access to such a person and I'm glad that you've had a miracle awakening of the senses, so to speak. More often than not though, people report a more subtle change. Regardless, I'm happy things turned around 180 degrees for you.

I would not categorize my experience as either miraculous or an awakening of the senses. The highest levels of "awakening" I have found, outside of spiritual experience, have been while "hyper-focusing" on something I'm interested in. ADHD medication, as far as I can perceive, has neither improved nor reduced the quality, clarity, or intensity of my experiences at those times.

What it has done is helped my get on with life when dealing with things less interesting. The effect as felt as the time is actually subtle. The consequences on my quality of life are not.

Nor has it been a complete "180 degree" fix. I still have some major ADHD related issues. For example, I'm almost allergic to paperwork. As in 5 figure fines for procrastinating on your taxes allergic. Any problem that costs you more than a new Fodera is serious - and that's while I was on Adderall. Some things regular people take for granted, like being able to find their keys, are often a source constant frustration (or humble satisfaction - coupled with near-obsessive rituals about putting your keys in a consistent spot or not putting them down at all) for people with ADHD. You learn to cope. No medication I know of makes it all just go away, but it can help.

 

[tZer]

I've got to disagree here, except it's not quite that simple... yes, a lot of the ADHD medications can cause problems, especially if they are abused or not carefully prescribed and monitored by a professional who really understands this stuff. But they can also be very beneficial.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early thirties. I have been on Adderall or Adderall XR for most of the last ten years.

I've always been able to "hyperfocus" on things which interest me, and I've had more than a few obsessive hobby phases. Boring tasks (say, doing taxes or filling out expense reports) have been extremely difficult - not for lack of intelligence, but because it was almost impossible to stay focused.

The most significant impact Adderall has made for me personally is difficult to describe precisely, but I'll try. Without it, I can consciously choose to work on something, but it's as if my will has nothing to push against. I just can't stick to it unless it's interesting. With Adderall, when I'm choosing something I know I need to do, but don't necessarily want to do, those choices have a lot more traction. Doesn't necessarily make it easy, but it makes it manageable.

I have not noticed any reduction in my creativity, inspiration, or ability in the areas I am interested in (and I work at a pretty high level in some of those) while on Adderall. It has not in any way "taken the edge off" in the area's I've traditionally excelled at.

and the rest of your post - a huge +1 here and ditto, down to the very last detail.

I'll add that it made my ability to memorize songs and my ability to focus on stage go through the roof! I was already OK - no real problems, just what I thought were the normal 'brain fades' - drifting off mid-song on a less than interesting part... all gone.

When I first got diagnosed I was afraid of the stimulant based solutions for all the reasons everyone here is citing from being afraid of 'losing my edge or creativity' to addiction to...

So, after seeing a psychologist, I tried a non-stimulant (Straterra) on his recommendation - absolutely hated it. It made me feel like I was on a non-stop bad coffee buzz and it ruined sex - big fail, no thanks, doc... I'll just stick with being scatterbrained - I've done OK so far and unless med bring value to the table...

So I went back to no meds (which is a misnomer, because just as many other non-med people here point out, we tend to self-medicate in some way so...) - but then I decided to ask my doc's opinion - he said that he'd seen great results in people using stimulant therapy so I decided to give it a go - Adderall XR (10mg) 1 x per day. BINGO!

The best way I can describe it is it's like someone gave me the keys to my own brain. Everything got better - I mean everything. I had no idea - but the difference - especially like relwof describes regarding mundane, gotta do 'em tasks - all better.

I don't abuse it. I have accidentally taken 2 before and it revvs me up (in a not great way) - it's way too much - and I can easily see how if someone were to abuse it, it could be anything but good - but if you don't abuse it, it can be more than just OK.

I know I can function just fine without it - but it really does bring tremendous value to the table for me. It's been many years now, but until I see a downside, I'm sticking with it.

 

[G.Bisson]

Adult DVD? Yes I would like an adult dvd. Thanks!

the dyslectic corner is down the hall to the right

 

[Strat-Mangler]

At what point does a behavioral characteristic become a medical disorder?

Exactly. Got the same concerns.

I mean, take a look at depression, for example. The symptoms, by themselves, are laughably common. Most people have felt this way or exhibited some of these symptoms from time to time.

"Feeling tired? You might have depression!"

Sometimes, it gets out of control quick. Especially today when everybody wants a quick fix and is quick to medicate themselves. Use of good judgment is required.

 

[BayStateBass]

This reminds me of something I've pondered many times,
At what point does a behavioral characteristic become a medical disorder?

I had always attritubed my quirks as falling within the norm of the introspective behavior type. Then I learned about Aspergers and was shocked that such behaviors could be considered symptoms of a disease. Although I was different, I never thought of myself as having a disorder. My behavioral 'quirks' are manageable enough that I have never sought out treatment or drug threapy. Instead, I try to soak up as much knowledge as possibly to learn adaptive techniques. I have read many many books on social behaviors, conflict resolution, confidence & assertiveness training, and business success skills. Within those books I have found gems of knowledge that have helped my improve upon behaviors that may be viewed as a disorder in the eyes of a psychoanalysts.

As much as my job drives me crazy, it has been a great place to practice and improve upon behavior quirks in a supportive professional enviroment. Afterall, most of the people who work in an office are crazy in some way already .

And this here is the KEY!!!!

Home-run here......

When you realize that some of these "disorders" can be controlled........by YOU.....you take the power back and you can find a way to turn your "disorder" into something that sets you apart and can give you an advantage....

It won't work for all, but for some...it will.

 

[Relic]

And this here is the KEY!!!!

Home-run here......

When you realize that some of these "disorders" can be controlled........by YOU.....you take the power back and you can find a way to turn your "disorder" into something that sets you apart and can give you an advantage....

It won't work for all, but for some...it will.

Oh yeah most definitely!

 

[tZer]

And this here is the KEY!!!!

Home-run here......

When you realize that some of these "disorders" can be controlled........by YOU.....you take the power back and you can find a way to turn your "disorder" into something that sets you apart and can give you an advantage....

It won't work for all, but for some...it will.

Very true.

Not disputing that point one bit, but the proper meds can also be like a performance enhancer - at least superficially. I look at it more like a performance allower - giving me full access to all of my mental tools.

One thing that's common in people who were diagnosed as adults is that we have developed many coping mechanisms from self-medicating (coffee) and other mechanical devices like lists or organizers to compensate for our deficits - and we were doing fine, relatively speaking when compared to other people's actions.

I always did fine in school - right up until it bored me - then it was all bets off. I could effortlessly turn in A work, but frequently didn't feel like it or found the mental effort required to actually complete an assignment to be agonizing - very literally agonizing - not just mildly boring... unbearable.

So I just accepted that I was 'not a good student' in spite of the fact that I knew I was intelligent enough to be one.

FF >> If I knew then what I know now, I might well have be able to fully take advantage of school. But that's over.

Knowing what I do know, however, I see no reason to let that interfere with my ability to excel and actually use my full capacity without being 'tortured' or feeling like I am forcing myself to do something against my own will.

 

[Relic]

Very true.

Not disputing that point one bit, but the proper meds can also be like a performance enhancer - at least superficially. I look at it more like a performance allower - giving me full access to all of my mental tools.

One thing that's common in people who were diagnosed as adults is that we have developed many coping mechanisms from self-medicating (coffee) and other mechanical devices like lists or organizers to compensate for our deficits - and we were doing fine, relatively speaking when compared to other people's actions.

I always did fine in school - right up until it bored me - then it was all bets off. I could effortlessly turn in A work, but frequently didn't feel like it or found the mental effort required to actually complete an assignment to be agonizing - very literally agonizing - not just mildly boring... unbearable.

So I just accepted that I was 'not a good student' in spite of the fact that I knew I was intelligent enough to be one.

FF >> If I knew then what I know now, I might well have be able to fully take advantage of school. But that's over.

Knowing what I do know, however, I see no reason to let that interfere with my ability to excel and actually use my full capacity without being 'tortured' or feeling like I am forcing myself to do something against my own will.

being a child of the 70's the teachers had NOooo clue what to do with me but that was their mantra from kindergarten right on through - "relic's obviously a very intelligent, sweet boy but he wont apply himself.." So my parents called me "lazy", "forgetful", I got smacked in the arse with my old man's belt, got toys taken away, got grounded, punished etc etc all to no avail. It sounds mean but they really didn't know any better back then and were trying everything they could think of.
I've learned a whole lot of coping skills, I've learned how to be sociable and interact with folks just fine but that same inability to apply myself has not changed at all, not even one iota. Fortunately, college interested me so my grades were stellar right on through.

 

[tZer]

being a child of the 70's the teachers had NOooo clue what to do with me but that was their mantra from kindergarten right on through - "relic's obviously a very intelligent, sweet boy but he wont apply himself.." So my parents called me "lazy", "forgetful", I got smacked in the arse with my old man's belt, got toys taken away, got grounded, punished etc etc all to no avail. It sounds mean but they really didn't know any better back then and were trying everything they could think of.
I've learned a whole lot of coping skills, I've learned how to be sociable and interact with folks just fine but that same inability to apply myself has not changed at all, not even one iota. Fortunately, college interested me so my grades were stellar right on through.

Me too - child of the 70's the old man's belt - groundings - lazy - the works.

What I remember most about school were the times I'd go to my room determined to do my book report or other homework and how my mind would go in 400 directions at once - NONE of which happened to help me get what I needed to do done.

Occasionally there would be projects or other things that held my attention - and those things I did far better than the norm - usually better than everyone of my peers - but that was not the norm, that was the exception.

I would still experience the same mind-numbing 'noise' as an adult in things like meetings - I used to dread company-wide meetings because it always felt exactly like when I was a kid - torture...

Knowing what I know now, I can so easily see the value of the medication that it's a no-brainer for me. It's not like I have to say, "OK, I have much better focus, but I have to sacrifice..." - I don't sacrifice a thing. I have full access to my very own, very good mind with zero down sides. That alone is worth it. My productivity went through the roof. I don't bog down on details and I don't get sidelined by analysis paralysis. I have full control and it's hugely better.

 

[fenderhutz]

And this here is the KEY!!!!

Home-run here......

When you realize that some of these "disorders" can be controlled........by YOU.....you take the power back and you can find a way to turn your "disorder" into something that sets you apart and can give you an advantage....

It won't work for all, but for some...it will.

I have "self" maintained my possibly undiagnosed ADD to the point of having almost a 6 figure income (in rural West Virginia), being a good dad to two wonderful boys, and a good husband to a wife that understands underneath my toaster like attention span is a good person that CAN be a GREAT father and husband.

Where my questioning comes into play is can I do better knowing that I CAN'T focus on tasks. I have been in the IT field for over 17 years now doing everything from PC repair up to and not including security assessments for vulnerabilities in software packages. I have deployed almost any server based application including Exchange and other applications others find difficult to stand up and get working properly.

For some reason, with all of the technical knowledge I have, I CANNOT learn and remember database functions and complex spreadsheets in Microsoft Excel. My mind just can't wrap around it.

I want to be able to, but can't focus enough to do it.

 

[tZer]

I have "self" maintained my possibly undiagnosed ADD to the point of having almost a 6 figure income (in rural West Virginia), being a good dad to two wonderful boys, and a good husband to a wife that understands underneath my toaster like attention span is a good person that CAN be a GREAT father and husband.

Where my questioning comes into play is can I do better knowing that I CAN'T focus on tasks. I have been in the IT field for over 17 years now doing everything from PC repair up to and not including security assessments for vulnerabilities in software packages. I have deployed almost any server based application including Exchange and other applications others find difficult to stand up and get working properly.

For some reason, with all of the technical knowledge I have, I CANNOT learn and remember database functions and complex spreadsheets in Microsoft Excel. My mind just can't wrap around it.

I want to be able to, but can't focus enough to do it.

I won't promise anything - and it's entirely possible that somethings are just out of our reach regardless - but my experience is that everything improves significantly.

I also know that after many years taking medication for it, I can still be lazy - so it's not like you are suddenly turned into a machine - but in the areas where concentration and retention are needed, huge improvement.

There's a really nice snowball effect too because as you realize you are no longer going to suffer those 'torture' tasks - you become much more energized about doing things you might normally avoid due to the 'noise' factor.

One other 'worth the price' benefit for me was I used to wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly it was like every anxiety I ever had or could have jumped me causing me to not only suffer from insomnia, but to do so while I was mulling over horrible things that I was sure were going to ruin my life...

That never happens anymore. I may still wake up in the middle of the night and even if I can't get back to sleep it's no big deal because the anxiety is GONE. Yeah, occasional insomnia can be a drag - but without the additional anxiety baggage, it really just makes me a little tired the next day - not wrung out like I had the flu.

So - to recap - gaining access to everything my mind has to offer with minimal interruption or distraction? Check. No more 'anxiety closet insomnia sessions'? Check. Lots and lots and lots of productivity? Check. Leaning new, really cool skills (I've built 3 basses from scratch)? Big checkerino!

YMMV, of course -but my experience has been nothing short of amazing.

 

[fenderhutz]

One other 'worth the price' benefit for me was I used to wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly it was like every anxiety I ever had or could have jumped me causing me to not only suffer from insomnia, but to do so while I was mulling over horrible things that I was sure were going to ruin my life...

That never happens anymore. I may still wake up in the middle of the night and even if I can't get back to sleep it's no big deal because the anxiety is GONE. Yeah, occasional insomnia can be a drag - but without the additional anxiety baggage, it really just makes me a little tired the next day - not wrung out like I had the flu.

Funny you mention this. I have a sleep study next week because of insomnia issues and waking up every hour or two. Because I carry extra weight the doctor thinks apnea. I did a pulse ox machine at home and it didn't show signs of apnea but she wants to do it anyway.

 

[Relic]

The sleep thing? Holy crap, yeah. Most nights I'll wake up and almost IMMEDIATELY start stressing over everything - every bill, every aspect of work etc. I find that if I exercise and really tire myself out fro a while, I may still wake up but I'm able to fall back asleep faster.

 

[Strat-Mangler]

The sleep thing? Holy crap, yeah. Most nights I'll wake up and almost IMMEDIATELY start stressing over everything - every bill, every aspect of work etc. I find that if I exercise and really tire myself out fro a while, I may still wake up but I'm able to fall back asleep faster.

Used to have that, but conditioned myself to just not care or even think of things I have no control over. For instance, let's say it's 10pm and I have a big meeting/interview/project/whatever at 9am the next day. I'll sleep soundly because my brain logically sees that I can't do anything until 9am anyway, so...

It didn't happen overnight, but regardless of the amount of stress I'll be facing the next day, I now always fall asleep within 5-10 min. Tops.

Life-changing, really.

I do the same thing throughout the day, too. Let's say there's a traffic jam and I know I'll be late for work. No need to panic as I know it's official I'll be late and getting excited/anxious/stressed won't accomplish anything anyway, so I let it go. If I'm relatively close and think I can make it on time but that I'll be racing the clock, I'll definitely be going all out! But otherwise, no need to stress...

 

[BayStateBass]

"BayStateBass is unusually bright, but he just won't apply himself. We often catch him looking out the window, or simply not listening".

BayStateBass dreaded when his parents had parent-teacher conferences. It was usually followed up by yelling or some talk about how disappointing I was. My father did not believe in hitting us unless he felt he had no other way to get through to us, but when it happened.....oh boy.

My father told me that I was lazy and if I didn't change my ways one day I would get married and my wife would leave me because I was useless. I would never hold a job. I would never make anything of myself. My father told me I was the laziest kid he knew. When I played sports and didn't do well, he told me that I "embarrassed him".

I sometimes wake up during the night, fearful that I might die in my sleep, pondering whether or not there is an afterlife, or what total blackness and no consciousness or brain function might be like. Sometimes I don't go back to sleep that night.

You see, BayStateBass is a lot like a lot you....with similar experiences.

I also became successful in my chosen profession, relatively speaking, and make a good living.

I think medication does help.....it could provide a bridge while you work on controlling your own mind. We chose to provide our son with an anti-anxiety med to help with the rough times. But as time goes on, he seems to need it less and less.

 

[fenderhutz]

Used to have that, but conditioned myself to just not care or even think of things I have no control over. For instance, let's say it's 10pm and I have a big meeting/interview/project/whatever at 9am the next day. I'll sleep soundly because my brain logically sees that I can't do anything until 9am anyway, so...

It didn't happen overnight, but regardless of the amount of stress I'll be facing the next day, I now always fall asleep within 5-10 min. Tops.

Life-changing, really.

I do the same thing throughout the day, too. Let's say there's a traffic jam and I know I'll be late for work. No need to panic as I know it's official I'll be late and getting excited/anxious/stressed won't accomplish anything anyway, so I let it go. If I'm relatively close and think I can make it on time but that I'll be racing the clock, I'll definitely be going all out! But otherwise, no need to stress...

It's great your brain is wired this way. Some are not. That's the thing with living cells, no two are the same. That's why I always hated labels like ADD and refuse to go to the doctor for it. I think it's something I can fix. Now after having a less than stellar high school and college experience I am coming to the conclusion MAYBE I should have spoken up, or maybe my parents when I was younger. EVERYONE knew I was ADD, even my friends. I just learned to control it better as I got older and use it to my advantage. I am just afraid now if I go and try to resolve some ongoing issues it might affect where I currently stand in my chosen field. I am employed BECAUSE I can come up with out of the box solutions very quickly and fix issues on the fly.

 

[Relic]

parent teacher conferences were a particularly bad thing for me. It wasn't so much the punishment that would follow, it was the guilt and disappointment of letting my folks down. I think that's a huge part of why I was convinced that I was utterly stupid back then and really hated who I was.

I have three kids now. The oldest might have Aspbergers, not sure. I never felt the need to have him tested because quite honestly, he's doing fine without any label, or declarations.
He shows some symptoms for sure but honestly, the kid's an honor's student, has his group of friends, is sociable when he needs to be, just started his first job and has been accepted to 3 colleges so I'm not worried.
The middle son skipped it all and is quite the ladies man already at 13...
but the youngest is following the almost identical path as the oldest. It's crazy how alike they are.
At any rate, the one thing that I'm grateful for given my experience with all of this when I was a kid, is I have an extensive knowledge on what NOT to do to your kid. I'm a great dad and it's exactly what I went through that contributed to that. Wouldn't change that for the world.