Allowing someone else to jam with my guitar?

A lot of people have trouble saying, "no", and you seem to be one of them. Think of the cost of not doing so vs. setting the boundary that you are comfortable. You subconscious is driving your conflict aversion, and you're missing out on opportunities to jam with close friends.

Just be honest and tell him you don't want someone else playing your guitar.

You have the right to say "no".

It's your guitar. You don't owe an explanation and don't have to justify your decision, so don't spend time trying to explain yourself. IMHO, engaging in such a conversation only dilutes your point.

You have the right to say "no".

You owe it to yourself and your friend to be upfront instead of allowing this to become an unspoken wedge in your friendship.

You have the right to say "no".

 

You gotta talk to the BL. Tell him everything, be honest, be nice.

I know it's tough when friends and or family members are involved, but you gotta do it.

It's your gear.

And what kind of guitarist doesn't own a guitar??? That's a huge red flag.

 

It's ok to say no. You have every right to set boundaries about your person and your property.

I do not loan out instruments. I'm too picky about them, and it's easier to deny someone than to try to get money out of someone who's borrowing the instrument in the event something happens.

You have to think about why they need to borrow in the first place. Why don't they own their own? Chances are it's because of money. That means if there is damage or something else happens, they're not going to be able to pay for the damage. A scratch to some is no big deal, whereas to me, I'm livid when my property gets damaged due to someone else's negligence. It's easier to just say no ahead of time. There are plenty of deals on Craigslist and other people who lend out instruments. I'm not one of them.

 

I agree that it's ok to say no, man up and tell the guy you don't want anyone playing your guitar, and then deal with the results.

but....

"the C and F string would likely have to be re-tuned back to B and E, which would then have to be re-tuned to C and F"

really?....that's why they put tuning pegs on a guitar...it's a 20 second process to re-tune.

 

If its a friend that i know, i loan my gear without any issues. But if its someone i don't really know (like on a whim or in a gig) I always ask this question : "Can you afford to repair it if you break it?" You'll be surprised how many people give the guitar back to you.

 

I'm slightly lucky in that being lefty, no one ever asks to borrow my basses. But even if the situation were different, I wouldn't let other people use my gear.
The way I see it, I have put a lot of work time, money and effort into acquiring and looking after my equipment. If someone is as keen as I am to be a musician, then they surely would do the same.

Also, I want to be the only one who is allowed to play badly on my gear.

 

I would've said no also. I'm very particular about my instruments, especially since I have them all set-up for me in particular.

I tune all my basses in 5ths. My 5-string in particular (tuned FCGDA) has a hybrid mixture of heavy and medium gauge Kalium strings; so the neck, bridge, and pick-ups have all been adjusted to accommodate not only the strings but also MY playing style. So for me it's not "just" a turning of the tuning pegs, it's a whole set-up issue. Maybe I'm being too deep - but that's just how my mind thinks.

 

Say no. Your guitar, your bass, your amp, your cords, your boundaries apply. There is absolutely no need for you to "share." Takes but a moment to screw things up, and if the person doing the screwing up isn't you, it's bad. Borrowers generally don't treat instruments as well as owners do. Standard sign (which may assume too much about the wives of tool borrowers) in many shops goes something like "you can borrow my tools if I can borrow your wife."

If you wanted to, you could suggest that if Jam Host Man wants to have a guitar available for "Mysteriously Guitarless Guitar Player" he could buy one inexpensively at Rondo, or spend as much of HIS money on that object as he might care to for that purpose.

 

There are people I will let play my guitar or bass, and others I won't--depends how well I know you-and how dependable & responsible you are.

 

It shouldn't be a big deal to tell them no. If they make it a big deal then they are ones being weird, not you. All the good points for not lending out your gear have already been made. Say no, enjoy the jam, it sounds like a pretty cool project.

 

There sure are a lot of strange band leaders people on TB have to suffer, I'm glad our band doesn't have one of those.

Just say no, if the BLs guitarist friend wants to sit in (and what's up with that in the first place) he should bring his own guitar.

 

This. Ever had to rent gear? There's a good reason a lot of those old beat up Peavey's are still the norm. People don't treat anything as well if it isn't their own.

 

I get concerned when my wife loads things into the back of my Jeep ("But, a car is just a *tool*!" Ugh.). I wouldn't have a problem declining the opportunity let someone play one of my instruments. If you want to be avoidant about it, go to the jam and claim to have forgotten all about the guitar, as it's not your regular instrument?

 

Wow. Just tell the guy you're not bringing your new guitar for his buddy to play. Tell him to tell his buddy to bring his own guitar. Done. No drama needed, just plain communication.

 

A guitarist without a guitar.

 

...isn't a guitarist

 

I have a couple very inexpensive basses that play very well/sound decent, and those are the ones that go with me when I suspsect my stuff might be in a lot of hands or treated less nicely than I would prefer ... if I am supplying the amp, a $100 Peavey goes with ... I don't have to worry about things that way, and everybody enjoys themselves ... the better stuff stays home on those trips out ...

JMHO ...

 

As others have said, you have the right to say no.

Especially as you do not know this person, you can say no.

Especially as you had the guitar modified, you can say no.

Especially as this "great guitarist" can't seem to locate his guitar (once happens, but this is a huge red flag).

As Nancy R. told us, just say no.