Nothing new to add here, just agreeing that you need to grow a backbone and the 'BL' needs to learn boundaries. I can't imagine asking someone else to bring a guitar for my friend to play.
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Allowing someone else to jam with my guitar?
- Thread starter Matthew_84
- Start date
learning to say ' No ' is a good life lesson to learn ... it will serve you well ... you are also basically enabling other people to just be lame and use excuses ... I don't think of my instruments like a toothbrush , which no one else can ever use ... and it's not a trumpet or reed instrument where you'd be swapping spit ... but , like you , my stuff is setup and ready for Me to use ... especially my keyboards ( my main instrument which I don't want folks pushing buttons and screwing up countless hours of programming work ) .... but .... there are lots of " non-selfish " reasons to simply say ' NO ' ... by doing so you actually are doing more to help others help themselves .. !!
I would let guys use my axe based on two factors....1. Finger Grease or the infamous Greasy Finger Chicken Eatin' Mofo test. 2. Does he, before picking up the bass/guitar, pull out his shirt and wrap it around the belt buckle.....sorry you don't do that, you ain't playing my instrument.
It is your guitar. You have it set up for you. If he plays it he will come to you and give you advice that will set it up for him. Straight up no. You are not a baby.Hi TB'ers,
I need some of your opinions on my feelings about a situation I'm struggling with (sorry in advance for the long rant):
For the last year or so, I've been jamming with a three-piece hip-hop band (myself, drummer, and an MC/Bandleader). The MC is one of my wife's best friends and was one of the very few people at our wedding of less than 50 people. The drummer is his cousin.
There are no gigs, and not even a setlist. Just every every few weeks we get together and improvise - I'll usually come up with a bassline or melody, drummer will come up with something that matches, and the MC will freestyle along with.
Several months ago I bought a beautiful, top of the line MIM Fender Stratocaster. I decided to bring it to one of our jams, where it was just the three of us, in case I felt the urge to play it instead of the bass, or in case one of the other guys wanted to try it out. The MC has an amazing gift for knowing what sounds good, and is usually pretty decent on any instrument the first time he picks it up. Even if the drummer wanted to play the guitar, the MC could hop on the drums and we wouldn't lose a beat.
One thing I should mention about my Strat is that it is not tuned to standard guitar tuning (EADGBE), it is tuned into perfect 4ths (EADGCF). In order to achieve this, I had to get to lower tensioned B/C and E/F strings. I did this so that I could learn one fingering for a major triad, and apply it anywhere on the fretboard. Also it made more sense to me - the bass is still my main instrument, and I didn't want to spend too much time on the guitar learning the fingering for every chord.
Two sessions ago, the bandleader texted me and asked me to bring the guitar again so his guitarist friend could come along (who is apparently amazing at the guitar, yet doesn't own one?). I didn't feel comfortable with the idea... Sure, I'd be there to oversee everything, but the C and F string would likely have to be re-tuned back to B and E, which would then have to be re-tuned to C and F, which annoys me a bit, and I'm just not too comfortable with the idea of someone else using it. Also, I like to keep my gear in pristine condition and I'm a little OCD about it, which is surely contributing to my negative feelings about the situation.
I ended up cancelling the jam, saying that something came up.
Soon after, I did get unmotivated to play (really not related to this at all), and I didn't pick up my bass for a few weeks.
He texted me again for another jam session, but it also came with a request to bring my guitar for the same guitarist. I was even less in the mood to comply, since I wasn't even motivated to play bass on my own, so something came up again and I backed out.
Last night, he texted me to come for next week... No request to bring my guitar was made yet, and I don't know what to do if he asks. I really do want come to the jam session, as I am now very motivated in playing again, and I look forward to it, but I'm still not comfortable with someone I don't know playing my Strat.
Truthfully, I feel like a pretty big baby about this situation. I'm clearly not able to share, and I feel pretty immature with it all, but it is how I feel.
Anyways, if you stuck in this far, I really appreciate it, and I'd really like to hear your opinions (positive or negative).
Thanks.
I have a Tele tuned in open G for Rolling Stones tunes, and offered a few guitards the use of it so they don't have to change the tuning on their own guitars and to my disappointment they each used it, but grumbled a bit as though it was an inconvenience., (Yet they played it anyway.)
Note: I did not pry or force it on them, only offered and even though one of them was a bit of a fanatic about odd tunings and both loved getting the true sound for the songs, they still didn't appreciate it or even thank me for letting them play it. The guitar is tuned NLA now.
At the end of the day, most people just don't appreciate something unless they have to earn it.
Note: I did not pry or force it on them, only offered and even though one of them was a bit of a fanatic about odd tunings and both loved getting the true sound for the songs, they still didn't appreciate it or even thank me for letting them play it. The guitar is tuned NLA now.
At the end of the day, most people just don't appreciate something unless they have to earn it.
I don't allow anyone except my close friends to jam with my gear. I've had a few friends I've lent guitars too for months, but there are other I won't even entertain using in my home.
If you're not comfortable with it, just tell him no.
If you're not comfortable with it, just tell him no.
Thanks everyone... I'm just going to be honest and start by giving him a simple "no".
Does anyone else here have an issue with the use of the term "bandleader"?
If the MC wants his friend to sit in on occasion, perhaps he should have an instrument on hand for such times.
If the MC wants his friend to sit in on occasion, perhaps he should have an instrument on hand for such times.
You might be right. I was gonna put some tape to show max levels. Also heard about some things you can place on knobs to make them un-turnable. We'll see.
A simple no should be all that's needed, no reason to cancel
jamsand stuff.
If you're asked to give a reason and feel it's actually neccesary (no should be all that's needed) flip it around and ask what kind of guitar player doesn't own their own guitar?
I'd probably ask that before I said anything, then just ignore the initial request...
jamsand stuff.
If you're asked to give a reason and feel it's actually neccesary (no should be all that's needed) flip it around and ask what kind of guitar player doesn't own their own guitar?
I'd probably ask that before I said anything, then just ignore the initial request...
consider this, nearly 70% of guys who use the bathroom don't wash their hands after handling their junk...would you let him rub his junk on your strings?
Doesn't that logic then dictate that no one should let any guy touch anything of theirs, ever?
no, the 30% are Ok to touch....it's the 70% dirty sanchez's we have to filter out..I'm working on the details
Please do get back to us on that. In the meantime, I'm only going to shake hands with 30% of the men I meet, and hope I guessed right....
If that number is accurate, that is very disgusting... But as my work toilet can attest, only 30% of guys can aim properly.
Maybe he has a guitar but has no reason to bring it since his buddy the BL has promised to supply a great instrument for him to use.
I think the BL is the bad guy here, not necessarily the guitar player.
I think the BL is the bad guy here, not necessarily the guitar player.
I didn't read the OP, but based on what the thread title says, the answer to anyone using my personal equipment these days is pretty much NO, and frankly I am beyond caring how that makes me look. If I know a guy really, really well and consider him a friend, than I might be ok with it..But if it's a stranger or someone I do not like? Sorry, but no.
Last time I let a guy use my rig, it was a 5 string player. Basically my amp was not setup to handle the frequencies he was generating, and while I don't think he damaged it, my rig made some pretty horrible sounds in his hands.
Honestly...I don't get the sense of entitlement that other people have when it comes to using other peoples instruments.
Do not ever feel bad or ashamed for telling people they can't use your stuff.
Last time I let a guy use my rig, it was a 5 string player. Basically my amp was not setup to handle the frequencies he was generating, and while I don't think he damaged it, my rig made some pretty horrible sounds in his hands.
Honestly...I don't get the sense of entitlement that other people have when it comes to using other peoples instruments.
Do not ever feel bad or ashamed for telling people they can't use your stuff.
